A reason to believe again
by the last to leave
Summary: Bella is cynical about love, soul mates, and life long friendship. Can setting off on a new adventure to college be enough to change her mind? AU/H, Canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay, so this is my first story. I thought I would take a crack at it and see if maybe I had some talent.**

**Let me know what you think, all criticism, or praise is welcome. I am also looking for a beta, anyone willing to help let me know. : )**

**Thanks **

**A Reason to Believe Again.**

I took a deep breath in and close my eyes as I walked hand in hand with my new husband on a beautiful beach in New Port. We had gotten married today, the only way to describe the whole affair was to simply say that it was magical.

I couldn't be happier; I was surrounded by the five most important people in my life on the most important day of my life.

I was a massive fan of the TV show _FRIENDS_ but I was always very cynical about six people being the best of friends navigating their way through their 20s and 30s coming out closer and stronger than ever before. Truthfully, 7 years ago I wasn't even sure there was one person out there who would stand by me forever. That was until I met these five beautiful people, and I suddenly became the luckiest girl in the world.

"Here Izzy, want some more champagne?" Emmett chuckled passing me the bottle which I took obligingly .

Emmett was 6"2' and all muscle, my first impression of Emmett was he must be such a jerk, but that wasn't the case. He was kind, caring, and the happiest person I knew, probably also the most immature person I knew as well, but that's why I loved him.

Emmett balanced out his wife, and 'baby momma', Rosalie, out perfectly.

"Thanks Em," I replied while taking a sip, the bubbly drink hit the back of my throat which made me hiccup. Champagne wasn't always high on my list of favourite alcoholic beverages.

"I really cannot believe we are here tonight," Alice chimed in as she came up behind me hugging me in to her side. "Do you remember what I was like 7 years ago, oh my gosh, Jasper I don't even know why you pursued me,"

Alice and Jasper were soul mates, and I knew right from the get go that they were going to be together happily for the rest of their lives. They are the reason I believe in love.

"We've all definitely come a long way since our freshman year," Rosalie agreed with her as she stole a sip of champagne.

Freshman year. Now that was a memory.

...

College.

College in Seattle.

College in Seattle, far far far away from home.

I pulled into the parking lot in front of the registration building, I had no idea where I was going or what I was meant to do, I was just hoping that this would be the best place to start.

I took a deep breath and slowly got out of my car. This was my new life. The life I had chosen for myself.

Ever since I could remember I wanted to escape the confines of my Beverly Hills Bubble that my parents had created for me. See my daddy was a well respected Judge and to say we lived comfortably was an understatement, we were so comfortable that my mother never had to work, I was guaranteed 2 million dollars on my 21st Birthday. My parents put me through the best school in Beverly Hills, to ensure I had the best grades possible.

However, come senior year when it was time to start sending out my College Applications, that was when the fine print of my privileged life began to show. My parents wanted me to stay in LA, go to Berkley like my daddy, or at the very least attend UCLA. I however needed to breathe a different kind of air, and after a lot of persuasion, begging, and bargaining I was finally allowed to apply to different Colleges throughout the West Coast only. And the rest as they say is history. Although now when I turn 21 I only get 1.5 million, but big deal. I was determined from now on to do everything on my own... Well to an extent.

So here I was, standing in from of the Registration building. I pulled my handbag up onto my shoulder and started towards the door, my Jimmy Choo wedges making a horrid clicking noise on the ground earning me a few stares from people walking by. Yep the heels definitely had to go.

I made my way towards a desk with a young man sitting behind it, he was definitely heavy built, with short dark curly hair. The man looked up at me and smiled, all dimples.

"Caaaaan I help?" He dragged.

"Errr... I'm Isabella. Isabella Swan," I replied quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

"Swan, Swan, Swan," He chanted as he looked down his list, looking up at me, and then checking his list again.

"Heeeeeere we are, Swan, Isabella. Well Izzy you are in East 205," He said pointing to a map to indicate where my dorm was, before picking up a large legal document envelope. "You're sharing I believe. Here is you key, inside the envelope you will find a campus map, your timetable, campus events, book lists, annnnd numerous forms you should fill out before the end of week one for your student card, catering, and any room or subject changes you would like to make etc etc." He finished handing me everything I needed.

Holy hell, I didn't really expect this much!

"Thanks," was all I could say in reply.

"So'kay Izzy. Oh and PS you have a dorm meeting tomorrow afternoon at 4.00 in your common area. Have fun, and we here are The University of Washington hope you enjoy your stay." He said in a serious tone before laughing.

I couldn't help by reciprocate. He just gave off an infectious vibe.

I made my way back to my car and pulled out the campus map trying to locate again where my dorm was.

This was going to be difficult.

After driving around what felt like the whole campus and walking into the wrong building, I finally found the East Dorm. It was a very old building that looking like it had many stories to tell, and so many more to write.

I unpacked a few things from my car, I didn't bring much with me to start with, just the necessities; clothes, toiletries, hair straightener. Just the things I needed to get by until I went shopping.

Walking into the foyer loaded up with two duffle bags and a wheelie suitcase, there were a lot more people moving today than I had expected. They all seemed to fit here as well, like this was their purpose. I suddenly felt like the ugly duckling.

I kept my head low and began my ascend up the numerous stairs that lead to my room. When I finally reached my floor I took in my surroundings, there were what looked like 10 rooms all leading off a main lounge area that accommodated a two couches; several bean bags and a flat screen TV.

Slowly I made my way over to room 205. My Room. The door was slightly ajar so I pushed it all the way open. It seemed that my roommate had already been and delivered a load... But why then would she leave the door open?

No sooner had I asked myself that question that a small girl popped up behind me.

"Ahh, hi. Who are you and why are you in my room?" She questioned quietly.

I looked at her, she was at least a head shorter than me, and she had dark brown almost black hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head, Ray Ban reading glasses sliding a little down her nose. She had very pointed, but fine features. Past the messy attire of old jeans and a black t-shirt, she looked gorgeous. For the second time today I was feeling very self conscious, this time instead of feeling like I was sticking out like a sore thumb, I felt bland in comparison.

"Hi, Isabella. I guess I am your roommate. And you are?" I replied holding out my free hand.

She looked at me, uncertain for a few moments before shaking my hand.

"Alice." She said in a small voice, turning towards her bed dumping a couple of bags on her bed.

I followed her lead and did the same thing. Throwing my bags down quickly then heading off towards the door to retrieve the last of my belongings.

I didn't take long the second time around, I had unpacked my entire car in two loads. I knew though I had to go shopping this afternoon for everything else. I returned to my room to find Alice unpacking her belongings. She was humming quietly to herself and didn't even turn around when I walked in the room.

Sitting down on my new bed I took in my surroundings. Our room was quite large, two King Single beds with bedside tables and matching closets, two desks and a small bathroom to share. The furniture wasn't anything to write home about, but I was trying to look at the bright side of things, it had a lot of potential.

I really couldn't be bothered unpacking at the moment, so I decided there was no time like the present to shop. I grabbed my hand bag and headed towards the door before quickly turning on my heel and facing Alice.

"Hey, Alice. Did you want to come to the store with me? I still have a few things I need to buy." I asked.

She looked up from whatever it was she was unpacking. She looked at me with a quizzical look on her face.

"Why?" She questioned, accusingly.

"Well I left just about everything back home and..."

She cut me off.

"No, why do you want to go with me?"

"Oh well, I thought I would be good to get to know each other. I mean we'll be spending the next 12 months living together, it would probably be a good thing for us to get along, right?" I replied. It was true. I wanted to get to know Alice, like our room, I thought she had potential.

"Oh... I guess that would be okay then." She said, standing up.

We made our way down the stairs and towards my car. Walking in silence until we reached the parking lot and Alice saw my car.

"Wow, you have a Mustang? You strike me more as someone who would have a BMW. Not a vintage Mustang," She commented.

I couldn't help but laugh in response.

"Yeah, actually would you believe that my dad wanted to buy me a BMW but I flat out said no? I wanted this baby though, it's faster and more durable," I replied as I unlocked my car and climbed in.

We set of for the store; Alice was admiring the inside of my car commenting here and there about something that caught her eye.

After a 15 minute drive we pulled up to the department store. I clutched my list as we walked through the door; I was determined not to forget anything. It took us almost an hour to find everything; we also found a few nick knacks for decorating our room. Alice and I had gotten to know each other a little better while we were walking around.

I learnt that Alice was from a small town called Forks, her parents weren't around a lot when she was in High School, she wanted be a designer once she finished college, and she used to be head cheerleader. I asked her a few questions here and there the usual 'whys' but she simply told me she doesn't do 'why' so I left it at that. I knew she would tell me the rest of her story in due time.

She also had a lesson on my life. I was an only child, over protective yet somehow absent parents, I was still undecided of my future, and like her I was a cheerleader in High School. I thought that maybe we could bond over that but I had a second thought about it. My cheerleading days were behind me. That was a Bella I didn't want to be anymore.

When we arrived back at our dorm Alice helped me cart all of my belongings into our room, before she set off unpacking again. I thought that maybe I should attempt the 'unpacking' thing, save it from just sitting there.

...

That night Alice and I had both finished unpacking, gotten a quick dinner, and had lounged around our room well into the night. It was about 11.30, we were both tucked into bed trying to drift into an easy sleep when I heard Alice whisper something to me.

"Bella, just so you know, I'm not that preppy little cheerleader anymore," she told me.

"I know Alice, neither am I," I relied. People changed, I knew that.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Here is chapter 2, I am so sorry for it being SO late! I have many excuses, but my main excuse is I had no internet until now : (**

**I hope you all enjoyed chapter 1, and feel the need to stick with me : )**

**Again, all criticism - the good, the bad, and the ugly are all welcome. Enjoy : )**

I woke up the next morning not knowing what to do. I had the whole day head of me, without anything planned. Alice was already awake and showered, quietly sketching on her bed. Slowly I stumbled out of bed, trying to find my bearings. I mumbled a small good morning to Alice before heading to the bathroom to have a shower, emerging fresh and awake.

I decide today I was going to be myself. I pulled on my slightly ripped skinny jeans, and baggy band t-shirt, ran my fingers through my damp hair and swiped on a little mascara.

As I walked out of the bathroom Alice looked up and stared at me in Awe. I guess I made the wrong impression yesterday with the designer clothes, heels, and perfect hair.

"I guess I gave off the wrong first impression yesterday?" I said.

Alice just nodded while raising her eyebrows.

"Look, my parents like to think of me as a straight A, cheerleader, popular and preppy. Truth is, I'm not, I'm rough around the edges and far from perfect. College is a good place for me to find myself." I answered her unasked question.

"Good to know," She replied. "Hey, did you want to maybe, I dunno, want to help me personalise our room today before the dorm meeting?"

"Sure thing," I agreed.

Throughout the day we decorated our room, stopping only for lunch. By 3.30pm we had finished.

We had managed to move furniture, hang curtains and reorganise everything, by the end we had both of our beds pushed underneath our window in a top and tail sort of way, we moved one of the closest between our beds to create a little privacy. Since the new Bella was coming to college and I wouldn't need the Old Bella clothes anymore there was no need for us to have two closets, instead we moved the other out into the lounge area, where we were informed it would be taken to storage.

Opposite of beds on either side of the room we had placed our desk and dressers against the wall. Having our room like this we decided created so much more room, but we also got a little privacy from one another. We hung fairy lights from the ceiling and had planned on buying Alice a similar comforter to mine so our room was consistent.

We had just finished hanging out notice boards above our desks, and I flopped down on my bed, exhausted.

Over the course of the day Alice and I had bonded. She came to open up a little more; I wasn't always the one starting the conversation.

"Bella, I was going to run down and get an apple a coffee before the meeting, did you want to come?" She enquired.

"No, that's okay. I think I'll just hang around here and read a little."

Alice left and I made myself comfortable with my favourite book 'Withering Heights'. I was lost in my book when Alice finally came back, slamming the door closed behind her.

I snapped my head up and looked at her. She was leaning against the door with an expression on her face that looked like she was petrified.

"You okay?" I questioned.

"What? Oh yeah fine. It's nothing. Promise," She assured me. "You ready for the meeting?" She said, trying to change the conversation.

I caught on quickly to just let things go, because Alice didn't do 'whys'.

"Yeah, I guess, let's go,"

We made our way downstairs to the common room; people were already starting to file in. Chairs had been set up for everyone. I looked around; there was a mixture of freshman, sophomores, and juniors. Everyone seemed to get along, I noticed the guy from the registration building talking to another two boys, they both looked very 'Abercrombie & Fitch', one of them, Abercrombie as I had dubbed him, had shaggy blonde hair and blue eyes, he was wearing jeans that looked ironed, I mean who ironed their jeans? and a perfectly fitted white and blue three quarter shirt. Abercrombie glanced in our direction, gave a small smile to someone and went back to him conversation.

At that moment Alice shrunk behind me, I turned around and glared at her.

"What? I had to fix my shoe laces," She covered up.

"That's your story, is it? And you're sticking to it? Because Alice, you're wearing slip ons," I accused.

"Oh shush," Great come back Alice, I thought.

I looked back at Abercrombie and Fitch, Abercrombie seemed to be involved in his conversation whole heartedly, Fitch however looked a little bored. Fitch was almost the opposite of Abercrombie; he had light brown/bronze hair that looked like it could never be tamed, a strong jaw and dazzling green eyes. He intrigued me, there was something about him that was almost 'god like', I mean don't get me wrong, he was the complete opposite to what I was into, in fact just looking at him I could tell he was a square.

I tried to push Abercrombie and Fitch to the back of my mind, instead turning my attention back on Alice, who suddenly seemed very interested in the chair beside her.

"Alice? Are you all right? Do I need to have you committed?" I questioned.

"Whatever Bella, let's just find a seat," She replied, steering us to the other side of the room.

The meeting was pretty much painless; our RA just went over some of the rules and regulations, told us he was there if we needed to talk, blah, blah, blah.

We made our way back up to our room when I heard someone shout my name.

"Well, if it isn't Izzy," It was the guy from Registration with Abercrombie and Fitch following him close behind.

"Oh, hi. Errr... I didn't catch your name yesterday,"

"Emmett McCarty, little lady, sophomore. And this is my brother Jasper and his mate Edward Cullen, they're freshmen like you," He said gesturing to Abercrombie & Fitch.

"Hi, I'm Isabella, and this is my roommate Alice," I introduced.

Alice was quiet again and seemed to be hiding behind her glasses.

"Alice," Abercrombie, I mean Jasper, said smiling at her.

"Any way Izzy, we were gonna head out for dinner later, Eddie Boys, older sister is joining us, and we were wondering if you two lovely ladies would like to accompany us as well?" Emmett asked us, all the while with a grin on his face. He looked like he was up to something.

I looked at Alice, she had a pleading look on her face, and I could tell she didn't want to go.

"Sure thing, what time did you want us ready?" I replied, not even bothering to acknowledge Alice. I was about to get some answers.

"We'll rendezvous at about 6.30, we'll have to take two cars though. Nothing fancy just a steak joint,"

"Sounds good, we'll meet you in the parking lot." I confirmed.

The boys said a quick goodbye, Jasper taking extra time to bid Alice a fair well, before heading towards their dorm.

Alice and I made our way back to our room, it wasn't until we were safely behind our door that Alice launched her attack.

"Bella! What the hell! We can't go to dinner with them! And what about consulting me? I thought we were meant to be friends. I cannot, I repeat CANNOT go to dinner with them!" She looked like she was spitting venom, and I decided now was the right time to ask her the dreaded question.

"Why, Alice? And don't give me that ridiculous spiel that you don't do why's, because I am not going to cover for you if you don't give me a good enough excuse. Besides, from the look of things that Jasper guy seemed to have a thing for you," I retaliated.

"That's just the point Bella, I can't do it again. Fall in love with someone, or even have them fall in love with me." She had that pleading look back on her face, this time it was mixed with sadness. "In the end, everyone leaves. I just don't want to set myself up to be hurt,"

"Alice, I'll be there. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I understand where you are coming from. I really do. 'Why trust someone, or love someone, if all they are going to do is hurt you?' am I right? I've been there, have the freaking t-shirt." I reassured her. "But like you said we are meant to be friends, so if things turn to shit, I'll be there with a big bag of Hershey's Kisses."

Alice looked up at me, she was scared, and she had every right to be.

"Now, go have a shower put on something nice and we'll go out." I demanded.

It took us an hour to get ready and I was sure we were going to be late. I basically pulled apart my closet trying to find something to wear, in the end I decided to go very rocker casual. Dark skinny jeans, a vintage KISS t-shirt and a grey jacket, paired with my black converse.

Alice decided her worn jeans paired with a dusty lavender crotched shirt and light blue vans would do just fine.

As we walked down to the parking lot Alice stopped me.

"Are you sure Bella? I mean it's not too late to turn back. We can order a pizza and watch trashy movies," She was trying to bargain and I wasn't taking a bar of it.

"No Alice, we are going," And I pushed her on.

The boys were waiting for us as well as a very tall very beautiful blonde who I assumed was Fitch's sister.

"Just the girls we've been waiting for, ready to go ladies?" Emmett boomed.

"Sure are, who's cars are we taking?" I questioned.

"Mine and one of the boys, unless either of you would like to drive?"

Now was the time to jump to Alice's rescue, at least give her a floating device for her to keep her head above water.

"Actually do you mind if I drive? I've been itching to drive all day, but what with settling in I haven't been able." Bull shit, bull shit, bull shit. But I hoped they would eat it up.

"Sure thing. Well, Izzy and Alice in Izzy's car, Rosie can come with me, and you two fairies can figure out by yourselves who you want to go with." Emmett declared.

'Rosie' didn't seem overly excited about driving with Emmett, but she didn't complain. Personally I thought she looked like she had a massive pole stuck up her a...

"We'll go with Bella," Jasper practically shouted. No surprise there.

We set off for the cars, I had organised with Emmett that I would follow him, because I had no idea where I was going. Jasper and an uncomfortable Alice sat in the back while Fitch, I mean Edward, took the front seat.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence the whole way to the restaurant. I would steal a quick glance every now and then in my rear view mirror and see Alice staring intently out the window and Jasper looking at her mesmerised.

I parked the car and as Edward and I both got out I was tempted to lock the doors and force Alice to talk to Jasper. But I knew better, she'd kill me. That girl had a violent side I was sure of it.

Dinner went off without a hitch, I learnt that Rosalie, or Rosie as Emmett was partial to, was Edwards fraternal twin, and Emmett had had a thing for her since High School. She never had a bar of it though.

They had all grown up in a town just outside of Forks, to Alice's surprise, call Port Angeles. Emmett was here on a football scholarship, but was studying Law. Jasper was studying Architecture, but majoring in History, Edward was much like me, not knowing where he was going, instead he enrolled in several different classes hoping one would take his fancy. Rosalie, however was the one that took me by surprise, although she look so much like 'Old Bella' with her preppy clothes and a perfect hair she was working on becoming a mechanic, although she was going to study arts and culture first.

Conversation seemed to flow quite nicely throughout the evening, Emmett entertained everyone with his comedy. Even Alice started to loosen up by the end of the night. By 9.30pm everyone had agreed that maybe it was time to make our way back to College, after all classes started in the morning.

We made our way back to campus, this time the car ride wasn't so quiet. Edward must have felt uncomfortable and decided to strike up a conversation with me.

"So, Isabella, why U-Dub?" He questioned.

I didn't really know how to answer, I could lie, but for some reason I felt like I couldn't lie to him. He compelled me to tell the truth.

"Umm, well I needed to find out who I was in the world and what my purpose was, and I couldn't do that in LA. Being here in Seattle, it just seems like the right thing. Like something had pulled me here, I just have to figure out what," I replied truthfully.

"I know what you mean, it's like no matter what your parents want for you, no matter how great those plans seem, they just don't seem to be the right ones. Like you haven't written your own story yet, and you need to push the boundaries to make it work," Wow, Fitch was good.

"Exactly," from that moment on I wanted to spill everything, tell him all there was to know about myself, but I held back. I barely knew this guy.

Edward looked at me with a knowing look, it kind of scared me. But at the same time his green eyes seemed to ease my mind.

For the rest of the car ride we spoke about superficial things like favourite movies, and music, every now and then pulling Alice and Jasper into the conversation to ease their tension.

We had finally made it back to the dorms, and I was starting to get really tired. It had been a big two days and I couldn't wait to be tucked up in bed. We parted ways with the boys, Rosalie shared the same suit as Alice and I and walked with us the rest of the way before bidding us a good night.

I quickly got changed and brushed my teeth before climbing in my bed, waiting for Alice to finish and turn off the light. For the second night in a row I heard Alice whisper in the dark.

"Bella?"

"Yes Alice? Is this going to become a nightly ritual of yours?" I asked, I was too tired.

"Sorry, I was just going to explain 'why'," She said in a small voice.

Oh man, now she had me intrigued.

"No, it's okay, go on," I encouraged her.

"Well, in senior year, like I said I was head cheerleader, and dating the quarter back of the football team, I thought I was in love with him. I was practically devoted to him. His name was James. We had been dating since the start of sophomore year. Anyway, it was the night of the last football game of the year, the Spartans had won, that was our school, anyway James and I were celebrating. Oh, Bella I gave him everything," Her voice broke at that moment. "It was my first time. I wasn't a prude; I just wanted it to be special. And I guess at that moment in time I had thought it was. Anyway, about a month after that night I was late, and I can tell you my body is like clockwork, so I knew something was wrong. Scared and nervous I bought three EPT's all of which coming back with a positive response.

I knew I had to tell James, and decided it was best to do it after school the next day. Anyway, I let him know, and his response was he wanted nothing to do with either me or the baby ever. I freaked out Bella, I couldn't be a single teen mother. I had to terminate the pregnancy, I never even told my mom.

I changed after that. I want nothing more than to just blend into the background, and I never wanted to fall in love again because I will just get my heart broken all over again," She explained.

I didn't know what to say. Alice had been through so much so young and by herself as well. I admired her strength and courage, and I was determined to help her in any way possible.

"The reason I came back this afternoon looking and acting the way I did was because I saw Jasper. Actually I kind of ran into him, literally. And Bella, I knew as soon as I saw him that he had the potential to change my life forever,"

"Oh Alice. I am so sorry! If I had known I would never have forced tonight," My heart ached for her.

"No, Bella really if I had told you why, the wheels would never have been set in motion. I don't know if I will ever be able to truly trust someone again, but Bella, you gave me hope," She assured me.

How little she knew, how could _I_ possibly give _her_ hope when I didn't even believe in fate and love. My belief was that we are all alone drifting, every now and then someone will get pulled to another, but in the end we all exit this world the way we can, scared and alone.

I fell asleep that night, hurting for Alice, hoping for Jasper, wishing for me, and wondering about Edward.

**A/N – There we go. There was Alice's story, I hadn't actually planned on it but I think it suits her (well my version of her) and its definitely paving the way for her future... But you'll have to wait for that.**

**Let me know you favourite parts : )**

**Next update will be next Tuesday or Wednesday.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Okay, there is Chapter Three. **

**Let me know what you think :)**

The next week went by particularly fast, I felt like my life had been thrown into fast forward, full of classes, lectures, and copious amounts of homework.

I was so busy that I had barely seen Alice since Monday morning, I was worried about her, and I wanted to know how the 'Jasper thing' was going.

It was 3.00pm on Thursday; I had just finished my English Literature class and was making my way up to my dorm, hoping to catch Alice.

It was a long walk back to the dorm; my bag was heavy on my shoulder. Huffing and puffing, I had finally made it back to the common room.

Taking in as much oxygen as I could, I regained by breathe. Only 2 more flights of stairs before I make it back to the room, I thought to myself.

Slowly but surely I made it back to the room, pushing the door open to find Alice at her desk sketching.

I threw my bag down and flopped on my bed with a sigh.

"How was your day?" Alice asked nonchalantly.

"Where would you like me to begin?" I laughed in response.

My day had been a mixture of pleasure and frustration. I loved most of my classes, but there were so many people that felt compelled to ask idiotic questions that made me roll my eyes more than once.

"I was just asking to be nice," She laughed back.

I propped myself up on my elbows and faced her.

"Actually, Alice, I wanted to know how you were doing. We've barely spoken this past week," I enquired.

This caught her attention, she dropped her pencil, at first I thought she was upset or trying to ignore the conversation we had had on Sunday night, but then she turned in her seat to face me, smiling.

"So far so good. I already have an assignment for my History of Design class," She said, quickly glancing at her watch. "Actually, I have to meet up with my partner soon, I should probably get going," She said as she packed up her pencils and sketch book.

She reached the door before turning on her heel to face me.

"Bella, thank you," She smiled at me with a twinkle in her eye and left the room.

I was confused, why was she thanking me. I mean we had barely spoken over the past week, and our last conversation barely lasted 5 minutes.

Oh well, I thought. She would explain it all in her own time.

I had been lying on my bed for fifteen minutes after Alice left, it was Thursday afternoon and I really didn't want to be stuck in my room alone, so I wandered across the hall to Rosalie's room. I quickly knocked on her door hoping she was in, the door sprung open to reveal a very worn out Rosalie.

"Oh hi Bella, what's up?" She answered, sounding puffed. She was dressed in yoga pants and looked like she had just finished an intense work out.

"Umm, I was just wondering if you were doing anything tonight, I was going to go shopping and thought I'd see if you wanted to join," I asked.

"Yeah sure, look, give me half an hour, I've just got back from the gym and I need a serious shower,"

I left her with the promise that I'd be back soon, as I made my way back to my room. I filled in time by making my bed and picking up the ten too many pairs of clothes lying about the room.

Rosalie and I were out for at least 2 hours, we had bonded and gotten to know each other a little better. She confided in me that she had a date with Emmett this week end, apparently when she was sick of him asking, so she finally said yes. Apparently he literally jumped for joy.

I was excited for her and really hoped they lasted. Emmett seemed like a great guy and a perfect match for Rose.

We got back to the dorm around 6.30pm and I couldn't believe how hungry I was, after quickly dropping our many purchases off at our rooms, and picking up Alice, who was back from her 'group meeting', the three of us made our way down to the dining hall for dinner.

It was taking a bit of getting used to the campus food, but it was definitely cheaper than eating out every night.

We were sitting at a table at the very end of the hall making small talk. I had noticed Alice fidgeting since we had made our way down.

"Alice?" I questioned.

"I'm fine," She answered way too quickly, indicating that there was definitely something up.

"Bull shit!" I called. "Spill,"

"Okay, okay. I am finding it so hard to avoid Jasper. He's my History of Design partner. Arghhh I don't know what to do!" She confessed before hitting her head on the table.

"Whoa, Alice. Stop torturing yourself," Rosalie intercepted, getting Alice to sit up.

"Look, I've known Jasper since he was 5; he's been my brother's best friend for years. And I can safely say he is one of the very few guys out there that are quite decent. But, I have also never seen him this head over heels for a girl. Don't be scared of him," She reassured Alice with a smile.

"See Alice, everything will be fine just try to be yourself around him," I agreed.

Alice was quiet for the rest of dinner; I guess she had a lot to think about.

-x-x-x-

By Friday night Alice had made up her mind about Jasper. As far as I was concerned it was staring her in the face. She was going to give him a chance and let him in or at least try to be his friend.

They had planned to work on their assignment on Saturday and go to a movie that night.

I had all of Saturday to myself, and to tell you the truth I was lost. I didn't know what to do. I made my way to the library and secured myself a table outside in the sun. The weather was unseasonably warm, so why not take full advantage of it?

Half way through reading the class notes for my Modern History I was interrupted.

"Isabella?" A tall figure walked up, it was Edward.

I had barely noticed him, he looked very _not_ Fitch. Wearing worn jeans, and t-shirt and flannel shirt, he had a 5 o'clock shadow. He looked WOW!

"Hi Edward, how are you?" I replied as I caught my breath.

"Yeah I'm good, just trying to fill in time. What about you?" He said, leaning down on my table.

"Pretty much the same, Alice is with Jasper working on their assignment, and I'm pretty sure Rose is with Emmett. So I thought I would take advantage of this quiet and get ahead while I can,"

He nodded in response, looking around while running his fingers through his hair.

"Did you want to join me?" I asked. What the hell I figured if I was going to be alone, why not have company while doing it.

"Are you sure? I mean I didn't mean to bother you," He questioned.

"One hundred percent, now sit," I laughed in response.

We spent the day studying together, at first I thought it would be awkward, but sitting with Edward, even not saying anything, was easy. We spoke casually about each other's pasts; I learnt that Edward was in a long distance relationship with his 'high-school sweetheart' who had moved to New York for College.

Truthfully, he didn't seem too broken up about it, which I found kind of odd. _Not that I care_, I tried to convince myself.

Conversation seemed to flow easily; I didn't feel the need to hide who I was as a person. Before we knew it it was 5.00pm and I had promised to help Alice get ready for her 'date' with Jasper.

Edward and I walked back to the dorm together, agreeing to catch up again next weekend for a coffee. Secretly I was looking forward to it.

When I arrived at my room, I found Alice laying face down on her bed.

"Alice?" I started warily.

I got a muffled ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH in response, before she flipped over and looked at me.

"What am I doing? Why did I agree to go out tonight? What does he even see in me, I mean look at me! I am so bland!" She was over exaggerating.

Personally I thought she was anything but bland, she was gorgeous. But I had an idea; I just needed her to trust me.

I walked over to her and grabbed her hand dragging her off her bed.

"That's it Alice! We still have another hour and a half before you need to leave and I have an idea," I explained.

It took me exactly an hour and fifteen minutes to change Alice. All the while she sat on her desk chair biting her nails nervously. I felt offended that she didn't trust me enough.

"There!" I exclaimed when I finished applying her lip gloss. I stood back and admired my work.

Alice now had short black – with a reddish hue – hair, I had a spare hair dye lying about that I needed to get rid of, I'd cut her long locks off and straightened her now shorter hair so it was flicking out at all odd ends.

She looked in the mirror, just staring. I was afraid she would hate it. I gnawed at my lip while I waited for her opinion.

"Wow, Bella. I look... so different," She said hesitantly.

"Good different or bad different?" I questioned.

"Definitely good!" She cried hugging me.

I was so glad she liked it, it suited her. Especially with very natural make up.

I just hoped this new look would give her a new found confidence.

Alice left for her 'date' and I settled in for the night.

I filled in time by having dinner, making a quick call to my parents, and watching Titanic – Yes, I was a sucker for Leonard DiCaprio. I'd fallen asleep as soon as I heard Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On', only to be woken an hour later to Alice coming home.

"Bella!" She exclaimed, while flicking on the light. "Wake up!"

I looked into the blinding light to see her turn around and walk out of the door. _Whatever_, I thought and tried to go back to sleep, until...

"Alice, what are you doing?" A tired Rose was asking, before she sat down on my feet.

"Well, I will explain as soon as Bella wakes up," Alice explained.

"I am wake, please just hurry up and explain what drugs you're on," I snapped back.

"Well Bitchy Bella, I woke you two up for a very good reason. As you are both well aware tonight I went out with Jasper. Just to get to know each other. As friends," Alice started.

"You went on a date," I sniped. Yes I was a bitch when people woke me up.

"It was not a date! Anyway, all was well and good, we saw The Hangover II, just something casual, anyway, we went to get a coffee afterwards, and you were right Rose, he didn't force anything. I mean I had to admit I was a little standoffish to begin with,"

"A little?" I questioned.

"Did I ask for any comments from the peanut gallery just yet?" Alice quipped back.

_Okay, what's happened to Alice?_ I thought. She wasn't usually this quick witted.

"Anyway, do you remember when I first saw him, and how I told you he had the potential to change my life forever?" She asked me.

I nodded in response, biting my tongue.

"Well, he is. He is changing my life now as I speak, he's left me feeling hopeful, that maybe everything will be okay," She explained.

"Oh Alice! I can't believe this! So are you two going to call a spade a spade and start 'dating'?" Rosalie asked.

I was wondering the same thing. Suddenly I was worried for her; I didn't want her jumping into something too quickly.

"No, I don't think so. We need to be friends first, and then see where things go. I don't want to rush things," She echoed my thoughts.

It took another half an hour for Alice and Rosalie to compare notes from both of their dates, I kind of zoned in and out, offering smart arse comments here and there, only to be greeted with something just as quick witted.

I was getting so tired; I eventually nodded off some time after Rose was explaining how Emmett walked him to her door and only gave her a kiss on her cheek.

-x-x-x-

The next week went by quite quickly; classes were slowly fading into a blur. I paid attention where I needed to. The highlight of my week was watching Alice and Jasper dance around each other during dinner on Wednesday night.

Saturday came and Rosalie joined Alice and me in lounging about our room until lunch time watching episodes of Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl was our one and only cliché of being girls.

Throughout the day I noticed Alice casually drop Jaspers name into the conversation, I was trying not to notice, but it was getting hard not to comment.

For the fifth time in the past two hours she had bought Jasper up, I was about to question her when there was a knock at our door. I took a quick head count of who was currently present, and I was pretty sure we weren't expecting anyone else.

After a quick game of 'shot not' – which I lost – I answered the door. Edward appeared looking awkward standing at the door.

"Hey Edward, what's up?" I asked. He was similarly dressed from our last encounter.

"Hi Isabella, I was just wondering if you still wanted to catch up for coffee this weekend?" he asked.

"Of course! But is tomorrow okay? The girls and I are having a day in," I explained.

Edward agreed, we made a time for coffee and decided to meet in the common room before.

I copped quite a bit of flack from Alice and Rosalie on Saturday afternoon, they were hopping Edward and I would become a couple. I had to remind Rosalie and inform Alice that he did in fact have a girlfriend in New York.

"Please Bella, Tanya is a bitch! I'd much rather see you and Edward together," Rosalie exclaimed.

"Well that's just a too bad for you Rose, because I enjoy being single and I don't like the idea of being a 'home wrecker'," I retaliated.

By 6.30pm, we had grown tired of watching Gossip Girl, Alice ordered a pizza and I pulled out the SingStar. We belted out tunes from the 80s and 90s, re-enacting the dance moves to Spice Girls songs, eventually collapsing from our laughter.

As I lay on the ground regaining my breath I realised how completely wrong I was about Alice and Rosalie. Alice was far from a shy girl that wanted nothing to do with anyone, and Rosalie definitely not the uptight bitch I first thought she was. I was soon realising how lucky I was to already have two wonderful friends that I could be myself with.

**A/N – Well, there we have it! Alice had her big 'date'; she also had a bit of change as well. Alice is in denial at the moment, but that moment will pass soon.**

**I thought I should clarify what the game 'Shot Not' is. Basically, whenever you don't want to do something you quickly put your finger on your nose, the last to do so has to do the 'dreaded task'. My family use this game for everything, from doing the dishes after dinner to changing the TV channel.**

**Next chapter – Bella and Edward have coffee.**

**What was your favourite part?**

**Reviews are greatly welcomed! : )**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N – Yay! I finished this in five hours, I am quite proud of myself.**

**Enjoy, Chapter 4!**

Sunday morning I woke up on the floor of my room. Rose, Alice and I had fallen asleep the night before while watching 'My Best Friend's Wedding', there were pillows and blankets everywhere, but it was somehow very comfortable.

I quickly glanced at my mobile phone to check on the time.

Shit! It was almost 10.00am, I had an hour to get ready and be waiting in the common room for Edward.

After a long hot shower, I pulled on my favourite skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt and my leather jacket, slipped into my converses and swiped on a little mascara.

As I was leaving the room, I decided that if I had to be up so did Alice and Rose. I threw a pillow at Alice and whipped the blankets off Rose.

"Good morning, good morning! And how are you todayyy!" I screamed/sang to the both of them.

After a few expletives were exchanged, some groaning and moaning, the girls finally got up. Rose somehow woke up looking just as beautiful as if she were going out for the day; Alice on the other hand woke up with her hair in every which way direction and a foul look on her face.

_Mission accomplished! _I thought to myself.

I made my way down to the common room, feeling quite pleased with myself. When I got there I found Edward already waiting for me.

He smiled as soon as he spotted me.

"Hello Isabella," He chimed.

"Good morning," I replied. "Let get this show on the road,"

Edward drove us to a nearby coffee shop; we ordered our drinks and found ourselves a table at the back.

"So, how was 'Girls day in'?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, it was great. Eventually it turned into 'Girls night in', there was a lot of pizza, SingStar and Chick Flicks," I explained.

"That awful singing last night. That was you three?" He laughed back.

"Awful? I'm offended, we were putting our best stuff out there," I giggled.

Oh my god! I was giggling. I never giggled.

"How was your day, yesterday then?" I asked.

"Yeah it was okay, Jasper kept fucking going on and on about your roommate. I tried to escape him by studying at the library, but then Emmett found me and started going on about Rose. Personally, I find it bloody disturbing for him to talk about my twin sister in that way," He made a face that indicated he was disgusted.

I was starting to realise that I really did suck at first impressions. Edward was far from the kind of person that I thought he was. He was laid back, funny, and I could have an intellectual conversation with him without wanting to roll my eyes.

He surprised me even more when I found out his favourite word was fuck. Don't get me wrong, I swore, and I swore quite a bit, but Edward seemed to slip at least one cuss word into everything he said.

It gave him character. I was finding it hard not to smile every time he swore.

Two hours and three Iced Tea Lemonades later and I couldn't get enough of the time we spent together.

Edward and I were becoming fast friends, and I enjoyed every moment I spent with him.

Our 'coffee date' soon became a weekly ritual. A debriefing from the week before, we plotted new ways of getting Alice and Jasper to finally become a couple and laughed at Emmett and Rose's attempt at a relationship.

According to Alice, she and Jasper were just friends. But I could see past that facade. She was falling in love. She came back to our room every afternoon with a smile on her face and she was happier than ever. Once I even heard her singing in the shower.

The six of us were becoming a tight nit group of friends; we shared most of our meals together and hung out with each other in our spare time.

Emmett would entertain us every night with his usual antics, Rose would try and tame him or would act embarrassed. Although she told me later on that his carefree spirit, mixed with his desire to achieve was what she loved about him.

Emmett and Rosalie were the perfect couple, Emmett doted on her, and it was evident that he would move heaven and earth just to see her happy. Not that Rose would ever make him go to such lengths.

On the second last Sunday of October I met Edward in the common room, just as I had done every Sunday since our first 'coffee date'. Edward was standing there, but when he saw me he didn't smile the way he usually did. I looked past him and saw that there was a girl holding his hand, looking far from impressed.

"Hi Cullen," I greeted.

"Swan," He replied in a very monotone voice.

"This is Tanya, my girlfriend," He gestured to the girl that was holding his hand, she had very long, very straight strawberry blonde hair, grey blue eyes, and the palest skin I had ever seen.

Edward mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' as I went to shake Tanya's hand.

"Hi Tanya, it's nice to meet you. I didn't know you were visiting," I said trying to be nice.

"No, well you wouldn't have. I came here to surprise my Eddie, I was completely shocked when he told me he had a 'date' this morning though. I have to wonder what kind of self respecting girl would go after a taken man." She accused.

Rose was right, Tanya was a bitch.

She looked me up and down, and I could tell right from the get go that she didn't approve of me.

I was wearing a red plaid shirt, grey jeans, Alice's black slip ons and a massive scarf. Tanya on the other hand was very Old Bella, except without all the high end couture. She was more, trashy-trying-to-look-fabulous.

I thought about giving her a smart ass comment in reply, but for the sake of my friendship with Edward I bit my tongue.

"Oh no, you have it all wrong. Edward and I just have coffee every now and then to catch up. We're just friends, I assure you," I replied in the sweetest voice that I could find.

The three of us had coffee; it was the most uncomfortable thing that I could have ever endured.

Tanya was all over Edward, she was like a dog peeing on everything, marking her territory. She never shut up about her 'fabulous' life in New York. I just wanted to vomit every time a word came out of her perfectly pretentious mouth.

When that horrible ordeal was over and we had made it back to campus I scampered up to my room as quickly as possible. Luckily for me Rose was already with Alice talking about something.

"Rosalie Lillian Cullen! You could have warned me that Tanya was a MEGA BITCH!" I accused.

"Oh but on the contrary my friend, I did. But what's it to you anyway, it's not like she's here," She replied, being a smart ass.

"Oh but on the contrary my friend, she is," I mimicked. "I just had to sit through the most awkward hour of my life. I swear that girl needs to be neutered. She was all over your brother like a fly on poop,"

I explained the whole 'coffee date' to the girls. Thankfully, they sympathised with me.

"I can go scratch her eyes out!" Alice offered.

"That won't be necessary, I'm just going to avoid her while she's here, and hope to god that she never comes back, or at the very least a house falls on her," I replied.

-x-x-x-

It had been almost a week since I had last seen Edward; Rose had informed me that Tanya would be staying until Friday afternoon.

I kept my distance as I had promised myself. Although there was a lot of debriefing we needed to do from this past week, I was starting to wonder if I should feign sick and cancel Sunday.

On Saturday afternoon, I was coming back from a shopping expedition with the girls when my phone went off indicating I had a new text message.

_We still on for coffee? – E_

Now was the time for me to finally decide. I took a deep breath.

_Of course – B_

Two words, that's all I could type.

_Great, see you then : ) - E_

I spent the night tossing and turning.

"Would you stop thinking so loud, I can't sleep," Alice mumbled.

"Whatever, you have another bed to go to if it's bothering you that much," I replied. Did I mention I was also a bitch when I couldn't get to sleep?

Sometime after 2.30am I drifted into an uneasy slumber, only to be woken five hours later to Alice singing in the shower.

I rolled out of bed, quickly wrote a note for Alice telling her I had gone for a run, and set off to clear my head.

An hour later I was on my way back to campus, with too much on my mind I wasn't looking where I was going and ran into someone.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I regained my balance.

"That's okay, just watch where you going next time," I heard a male answer.

I looked up and saw a well built boy, who looked like he had been taking steroids since the age of 10, he was about my age, and he had short blonde/brown hair and dark brown almost black eyes. He was staring at me intensely.

He looked very intimidating, and something about him scared me.

Wanting to get away from him as soon as possible, I nodded in thanks and kept running.

I had all but forgotten about the boy by the time I had made it down to the common room to meet Edward.

"Swan," I looked up and saw Edward smiling at me. He looked _so_ much happier than last week.

"Hi Cullen," I replied, trying to sound calm. "Let's get this dog and pony show on the road,"

For the first hour our conversation was very superficial, I knew that we were both trying to dodge the real issue here.

"So, I can't believe all our fucking hard work has paid off," He beamed.

"It was about time as well. It was getting so tiring," I agreed as I took a sip of my Iced Tea Lemonade.

"Well at least Alice and Jasper are happy now, and neither of us will need to hear about their pathetic excuse for a friendship,"

"I know! Who are they kidding, they were never meant to be friends, I don't even know why they tried in the first place," I laughed.

Alice and Jasper had finally decided to call a spade a spade, and realise that they worked better as a couple. Alice was still scared out of her mind, but day by day she came to trust Jasper just that little bit more.

Jasper was patient and caring with her, he seemed to calm Alice when she was in a bad mood, and put a smile on her face when she was upset.

To me, they were the epitome of 'love', or whatever 'love' was meant to be. When he moved, she moved. They were like magnets, complete polar opposites, but never meant to be apart.

Alice was right. Jasper had the potential to change her world forever, and by only being in her life for a matter of weeks he had already changed her into someone who six weeks ago would never have been recognisable as Alice.

She still hadn't told Jasper about her past, but I was confident that she would when the time was right. I knew Jasper would be understanding and not judge her for her decision, if anything it would make his feelings for her even stronger.

"Isabella," Edward said quietly.

Edward hadn't called me Isabella since our first 'coffee date', it was always Swan. So I knew he had something important to say.

I nervously looked at him.

"Tanya broke up with me; I mean I broke up with Tanya. Actually we kind of decided it wasn't working. She actually admitted to fucking cheating on me. I'd say it hurt, but the truth was I didn't fucking care enough about her to feel anything like that," he explained.

"Oh, Edward I am so sorry," I tried to be a supportive friend and be there for him. Inside, though, I was jumping for joy.

Edward deserved so much better than that witch.

"Nah, its fine. I was kinda over it anyway. I was over all her fucking drama, and jealousy. It was tiring to be with her. I couldn't have a serious conversation with her, or even be myself, with you it all kinda comes naturally," He assured me.

I wasn't shocked by what he was saying, I was happy for him.

"Well, if by the time we are 30 and we are both single, we should totally get married. Then we can have coffee, and intellectual conversations everyday!" I joked.

"Okay, but let's get this in fucking writing," He said pulling out a napkin and writing down our contract.

I had to laugh at how serious he was acting when he wrote it; in the end we had the following:

_I, Edward Anthony Cullen and I, Isabella Marie Swan agree to marry one another at the end of the year of our thirtieth birthdays if both parties are single at the time._

We both signed down the bottom, Edward even got one of the baristas to witness our agreement.

"This contract is binding in the State of Washington," he said seriously before laughing at me.

I was in a fit of laughter. I couldn't believe that we had gone all out and written a contract for such an agreement.

"Any way Swan, I wanted to know if you were going home for Thanksgiving." He asked.

"I wasn't planning on it. It's _so _far to go for just one weekend. My mom's pissed but she'll get over it, I'll go home for Christmas instead." I explained.

"Great, well that's settled, you're coming home with Rose and I. My family and Emmett and Jaspers family get together every Thanksgiving; there will be a lot of fucking Turkey, and pudding to go around,"

"No, Cullen. I am _not_ intruding on your family..." I tried to argue.

He cut me off. "You're not, Alice is coming with Jasper. Besides Rose mentioned to mom that you were planning on staying here over Thanksgiving and mom threatened both of us if we didn't get you to come. What were her words exactly...? _'No one should have to spend the holidays alone! If either of you don't get this young girl to come for Thanksgiving, I will cancel Thanksgiving all together! Is that understood?'_" Edward impersonated his mom.

"And look, I'm not saying that I want you at Thanksgiving, but it's the one fucking time a year I can eat as much Turkey and pudding as I want without it being bloody 'lite', and after going weeks on the dining hall food I could do with a decent feed,"

All I could do was laugh at Edwards excuse for asking me to Thanksgiving.

"Well, thank you for your concern. And I have noticed that you've lost a few pounds over the past few weeks, you definitely do need a decent meal. So I guess I'm coming to Thanksgiving," I couldn't stop laughing.

From then on Edward and I went back to normal, and I went back to forgetting Tanya ever existed.

We spent the rest of our 'coffee date' planning for Thanksgiving, and catching up on 'Stuffs we may have missed', our 'coffee dates' were very much like a TV show at times.

-x-x-x-

I was walking back to my room after coffee with Edward, texting Rosalie to remind her that we girls had dinner tonight; I was just outside my door when I ran into some one again.

How can one person have such bad luck that they run into people more than once a day, and to top it off I ran into the same guy from this morning.

"If we're gonna keep meeting like this, can I at least know your name?" Scary Roid man asked.

"Ahh... Isabella," I said hesitantly.

"Well Isabella, I'm..."

Just then Alice burst through the door, she looked happy and excited, but that was changed in an instant and suddenly she looked petrified.

**A/N- There we have it.**

**I had to physically make myself stop there, I wanted nothing more than to keep writing but I didn't want to give away everything just yet!**

**I drew quite a few things from this chapter from my own life.**

**The Good Morning Song – One of my mother's feeble attempts of waking us kids up in the morning, and it has probably scarred me for life... as such I am no longer a morning person.**

**First Impressions – Yes, chances are I will hate someone as soon as I meet them (Terrible I know), but more times than I can count that person has become a really great friend of mine... Although there are always exceptions and I just end up hating them forever.**

**Iced Tea Lemonades – I had to add that. I fell in love with them when I was in LA a few weeks ago, and despite all the wonderful things I did when I was there my fondest memory was drinking these delicious drinks in the afternoons on Beverly Drive watching Beverley Hills wind down after a busy day.**

**Red Hair – I really shouldn't say this, because I'm a true blue Ranga (Red Head), but I don't like the strawberry blonde look, although it might be natural it just looks fake and tacky. Personally I have Auburn hair, so again there is always an exception.**

'**Stuff you may have missed' – I don't know if America (or anywhere else in the world) has 'The Footy Show' but Australia does, and this is a little segment they have, it's usually full of silly little things commentators/crowd/even the players have done over the past week.**

**Well there is my little rant.**

**What was your favourite part? Anything you didn't like? My favourite part was E & B's contract and discussion about Thanksgiving.**

**Another update in a week, maybe sooner if I can find the time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Okay, I am SO sorry! Real life interrupted me when it came to posting this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are , I'm just playing around with them. **

"_If we're gonna keep meeting like this, can I at least know your name?" Scary Roid man asked._

"_Ahh... Isabella," I said hesitantly._

"_Well Isabella, I'm..."_

_Just then Alice burst through the door, she looked happy and excited, but that was changed in an instant and suddenly she looked petrified._

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mary Alice Brandon," He sneered.

"James," Alice gasped. "What are you doing here?"

She stood there rooted on the spot, barely breathing.

"Looking for you, baby cakes," James replied.

He had a sadistic look on his face, and I could tell he was here to give her hell.

"Where's your bastard child?" He practically laughed at her.

"Leave," She whispered, I knew she was trying her best to be calm.

"Come on, I just wanted to see your spawn. What did your mommy and daddy say when you told them?" He was baiting her. "I'm going to guess that you didn't breathe a word, I mean you wouldn't be here otherwise. God knows you would have been disowned. So I'm going to assume the you had the big A,"

"Fuck off," She whispered again.

"Aww, Mary Alice. What have you done?" James said sarcastically as he grabbed her face.

I looked at Alice, trying to read her. She was shaking from head to toe, her eyes were red and tears were welling up, I could tell she was trying so hard to not cry.

"Who would have known, sweet little Mary Alice would have had an..."

"FUCK OFF!" Alice yelled. She shoved him off her, punching him where ever she could. She was yelling and screaming, James just laughed at her feeble attempts at fighting him off.

I intervened, grabbing Alice and pulling her back into our room.

"If I were you, I'd leave now," I warned.

I could hear him laughing as he walked away.

I settled Alice down on her bed, she was still shaking and crying. I hugged her, trying to calm her down.

"Alice, talk to me. Please," I begged.

I wanted to help her, but I didn't know how. There were so many questions that needed to be answered.

I sat there hugging her for half an hour, I thought that maybe she would eventually calm down but she didn't, if anything she got worse. Every now and then she would start crying hysterically or rocking back and forth. I was so worried about her.

Before I knew it I was out the door, running down the stairs to the boy's dorm, stopping quickly in front of Edward's room.

I banged loudly on the door, hoping someone was there.

"Hey Swan," Edward answered, "What's happened?" He asked as soon as he noticed my worried facial expressions.

"Edward, where's Jasper? I need him... I don't know what to do... He just came out of nowhere... She won't stop... and I'm so worried," I cried, I knew I wasn't making much sense, but I needed to help my friend.

Edward hugged me, holding me close to his chest. I took in his scent, he had that smell that every guy has, musky yet very enticing mixed with vanilla.

"Shhh, he's at the library. I'll call him and get him to come back," He explained, while never letting me go.

Edward's conversation was over almost as soon as it started. He assured me Jasper would be back as soon as possible, before taking me back to my room to look after Alice. When we returned, Alice was laying on her bed in the foetal position, sobbing into her pillow.

"How long's she been like this?" Edward asked.

"Almost an hour," I replied while sitting down next to Alice, smoothing out her hair.

For the next five minute Edward kept me calm and tried his best to help Alice. He didn't force her to speak, instead assuring her that everything was going to be alright, and Jasper would be here soon.

Next we knew Jasper was flying through the door, and was at Alice side before I could even explain what happened.

"Ally, baby. What's wrong," He whispered.

Alice just looked up at him and started crying hysterically again. It took Jasper another 10minutes to calm Alice down. In that ten minutes I had explained everything that had happened to him, leaving out Alice's little secret though. That was for her to tell.

"Jazz," Alice eventually whispered. "I'm so sorry,"

"Shh, Alice you have nothing to be sorry about," Jasper soothed.

"Yes I do." She sobbed. "There is so much you need to know," Tears began rolling down her cheek again, this time she composed herself a little better.

They needed time to themselves, to discuss everything. Alice needed to come clean and tell him about her past. This wasn't a time where she needed an audience.

"Edward, do you mind coming with me to get some lunch please," I asked, trying to give them some privacy.

Edward and I made our way down to the dining hall. He kept his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders all the way there. I felt safe there in his arms, like nothing could harm me.

I couldn't understand how my day had been turned so upside down, one minute I was on top of the world looking forward to Thanksgiving, the next I was looking after a hysterical Alice, while trying to keep calm myself.

Edward and I spent the rest of the day together, we had a quick but quiet lunch, every now and then he would ask me if I was okay and as much as I thought I was trying to convince him that I was okay, I was trying to convince myself more. After lunch we went back to Edward's room, we watched a DVD but I couldn't tell you what it was, I was far too distracted and worried to care. Sometime around 3.00pm I fell asleep resting my head on Edwards shoulder.

"Isabella," A smooth voice whispered. "Swan, come on, you need to wake up. You need to eat,"

I slowly opened my eyes, Edward was looking down at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Edward?"

"I'm here. Come on, it's almost 6.30pm you need to eat,"

-x-x-x-

After dinner Edward walked me back to my room, I knew Jasper wouldn't stay the night, and Alice would need a friendly face around for the next few days.

"Thank you Edward, for everything today," I said as we approached my door.

"You don't need to thank me, I would do it all again. Let me know how Alice is," He whispered giving me a small hug before he left.

I opened my door, Alice was sitting on her bed writing.

"Bella," She whispered an apologetic look spread across her face.

"Alice, it okay," I assured her.

"No it's really not. I didn't ever think that James would ever try and contact me or come looking for me. There is a lot more to my story though, my name is Mary Alice that's what everyone back home knows me by. But remember when I told you after everything happened I changed, well I couldn't be Mary Alice any more. So I changed my name, I dropped Mary and became Alice when I started college. A new start right?

" Anyway, the reason I couldn't tell my parents about my pregnancy was my father was the minister at our local church, it was against everything he preached, sex before marriage, especially having a child out of wedlock. They would have killed me, like I said to them I was perfect. Bella, I need so much to leave this all behind me.

"I told Jasper everything. I expected him to yell and scream and eventually break up with me, but he didn't, he was calm and supportive, understanding even. I was right Bella, he has changed my life. For the first time since I saw that positive EPT I didn't feel ashamed,"

I walked over to Alice and hugged her.

"I'm so proud of you Alice," I told her.

She smiled up at me. "Bella, thank you as well. For getting Jasper and Edward, he likes you, you know that right?"

"We're friends Alice and I think that's all we are going to be."

For the rest of the night, although there was still a little tension from the day's events we laughed and lounged about our room. Alice wasn't going to relent when it came to Edward; she was convinced that we were meant to be.

For the second night in a row I fell into a restless sleep.

-x-x-x-

I spent the next week and a half either in class, with Alice, Rosalie or Edward. I was trying to keep myself as occupied as possible. Edward, especially made sure that neither I or Alice were left alone just in case James returned.

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving; the six of us were leaving the next day after lunch and I was in my room with Rosalie trying to pack for the long weekend.

"I still can't believe you're coming Bella," Rosalie exclaimed for the hundredth time today.

"Rose, you've been saying that all week! Now would you please help me out! What am I meant to wear to Thanksgiving? I can't possibly show up looking like this," I pointed out.

I was wearing my comfortable grey jeans, my red and black plaid shirt with a white long sleeved undershirt and black buckled boots.

"Pahlease Bella! You look fine!" Rose disagreed.

"Rosalie! What will your parents think when they see me? I mean you and Edward you dress like you've just stepped out of a fashion catalogue! I look like I've rolled out of bed!" I argued.

This was the first time since I had left for college that I cared what I looked like

"Whatever Bella, I've seen that secret wardrobe hidden under your bed. That is not you, this is you! But if you are that worried," She cut herself off before raiding my 'hidden' wardrobe. "Wear this on Thanksgiving," Handing me a black couture dress.

It was perfect it was simple but breath taking, it was a short lace dress with sleeves that stopped at the elbow, with a scalloped trim, the under dress was strapless with a sweetheart neckline. The only time I had worn this dress was to my grandfather's funeral last year. I had forgotten that I even owned this dress.

"Perfect! It's about time you helped out!" I laughed.

I folded the dress and placed it in my suitcase along with all my other clothes, I was just about finished pack when Alice came storming into the room.

"Girls! Stop whatever you are doing!" She practically shouted.

"Alice! I can't stop, we are leaving tomorrow and I haven't finished packing!" I replied.

"Whatever. Rose and I will help you later. But right now you both need to put your coats on and come outside! It's the first snow of the season!" She told us.

"Alice, its Fall. It doesn't snow in Fall," I contradicted.

"Oh my god! Bella, you're from LA, I bet you don't even know what snow looks like! But here in the Pacific North West it snows whenever it's cold enough," Rose corrected me.

I had to see this, Rose was right I hadn't ever seen snow. We grabbed our jackets and made our way down stairs. We pushed through the doors to outside and right then in that moment it was as if everything had slowed down. Every care I had in the world seemed to float away. It was the most beautiful sight to be seen snowflakes falling down around us, I must have looked like a 5 year old standing there looking up at the sky turning around.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" Alice asked.

"Oh Al, I've never seen anything this beautiful," I replied.

"Wait until Christmas, it's even better than this," Rose said as she hugged me into her side.

Alice took us to a nearby cafe to drink hot chocolates and watch the snow fall.

"Okay girls, here's the plan for tomorrow," Rose started. "We are taking two cars again, Emmett's taking the Jeep, that way all of our luggage will fit, and Bella I was kind of hoping you could drive as well," She asked.

"Sure thing Rose, it's the least I could do considering I'm staying at your house for the weekend," I replied as I picked the marshmallows out of my hot chocolate, I couldn't stand marshmallows.

"Perfect. So the boys will be in one car, us girls in another. Now don't forget we are leaving at 1.00pm sharp, my mother will kill us if we are late for dinner," She told us.

I was starting to think of Mrs Cullen as the dragon lady, first threatening to cancel Thanksgiving if I didn't come now 'killing us' for being late to dinner.

For the next hour we laughed, joked around and drank hot chocolates before I suggested that maybe we should head back to campus before it got too cold. As we made our way back I started to really get excited about the coming weekend, away from college with five people that were soon becoming my closest friends.

**A/N- okay, again I am really really sorry about the delay. **

**James' visit was short lived, but I don't think we have seen the last of him just yet.**

**I know this chapter wasn't too long, but I can assure you that the next chapter is super long! And it won't be too far away!**

**Reviews are very much appreciated. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- I promised that I'd update quickly.**

**I hope your comfortable while reading this chapter, it's a long one.**

**Have fun!**

"I'VE GOT THE MOOOVES LIKE JAGGER! I'VE GOT THE MOOOVES LIKE JAGGER!" The three of us girls sang along to Rose's iPod.

We were an hour into our road trip to Port Angeles, the snow from the night before had only been light and was now slush on the side of the roads. The rain however, had not relented, it was difficult to see but thankfully I was following the Jeep. Alice was riding shot gun and bouncing up and down in her seat, which made it even harder to concentrate. Already she had drunk two cans of Red Bull, and a packet of red snakes. She was like the energizer bunny on crack.

"Alice, settle down please!" Rose laughed after Alice started actually busting moves like Jagger.

Alice ignored her and kept bouncing and singing along. I reached over and turned the radio down before looking in my rear view mirror at Rosalie.

"So Rose, update us on everything with Emmett," I asked.

"Ohhh yeah, Rose! What's new? _Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car_?" Alice sang before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Ha ha ha, you are a bloody idiot Alice. Things are going great with Emmett. I never thought I'd say this but he is the best boyfriend ever. He is so respectful as well, Elanore McCarty definitely raised her son's right," Rose explained.

"Amen to that sister!" Alice agreed.

"No I am serious, I am practically throwing myself at him and he's not taking that bait! I mean I am starting to think there is something wrong with me!" She said hysterically.

"There's nothing wrong with you Rose. You are gorgeous! He is probably just waiting for the right time. It's only been a couple of months. It will happen when you least expect it," I assured her.

"Yeah Rose! You are hot to trot! Kinda like a blonde Katy Perry... Man I would do her if I was a guy!" Alice said. Clearly she didn't have a filter when she was hopped up on caffeine and sugar.

All we could do was laugh at Alice and her lack of social grace.

For the next hour we chatted about the boys, Alice was still on my case about Edward but thankfully Rose really didn't want to hear about her brother "all horny" for her friend – Alice's words not mine. When we were about twenty minutes outside of Port Angeles Alice's sugar high wore off and she fell asleep with her head leaning against the window while she drooled on her shoulder.

Rosalie and I sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in the silence.

"Bella," Rose said quietly trying to get my attention while not waking Alice up.

"Yeah?" I responded looking back at her in my mirror.

"How is it really going with Edward? I mean since he broke up with Tanya." She asked.

"Really good I guess. I mean it was kind of odd when he first told me, but after that things went back to normal. Even better than normal actually," I said thoughtfully. "I mean he was there for me when Alice had her breakdown. He was so supportive and kind, for the past couple of weeks he's spent so much time with me, I'm wondering when he'll get tired of me and just leave,"

"Bella, he's not going to leave. Although we may not be the most conventional twins I can read my brother like a book. You might not know it yet, hell he mightn't even know it but he cares for you so deeply and I don't think he'd ever give you up without a fight," She told me.

"That's what I'm scared of, Rose," I said as I pulled into her parent's driveway.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," I called to Alice as I turned my car off.

The boys were already out and unpacking the Jeep as quickly as possible. The rain was really coming down now, it wouldn't matter if we walked or ran to the front door I knew that we would be soaked by the time we crossed the threshold to the house.

"Mmmmimup," Alice mumbled.

I psyched myself up to run to the door, on Rose's count of three we were all out and slopping through the rain. I was afraid that I would slip and end up on my bum covered in mud, thankfully I had appeased the gods somehow and they allowed me to make it inside in one piece and not covered head to toe in mud.

After taking off my now soaked converses, I took in my surroundings. Although it was just the foyer, the Cullen's house already looked beautiful, it was very vintage and had a cottage feel, however it was so much bigger than a cottage. There were old stone brick walls with white accents, and hardwood floors, to the left there was an old coat closet that had been restored, and opposite that a matching credenza, there were fresh flowers in a white vase in the centre with photos of both Edward and Rosalie on either side. Hung above the credenza was a small gold mirror.

I was in awe at how beautiful their house was, the boys had already moved on inside. Alice and I followed Rose into the kitchen where the boys were all sitting on stools eating.

"Rosie!" I head a woman call. Looking around a gorgeous woman in her mid 40s stood holding her arms out waiting for Rosalie.

"Hi mom," Rose greeted hugging Mrs Cullen.

"Oh Baby, I've missed you, both of you," She said looking at Edward. "Oh look you've lost so much weight eating that college food. Don't worry I'll feed you all properly before you leave on Sunday," She said before hugging Rosalie again.

"And who do we have here?" She smiled.

It was Edward who stood up and introduced Alice and me.

"Mom, this is Alice, Jaspers girlfriend, and Isabella, Alice's roommate and our friend," he introduced.

Before I knew it Alice and I were being pulled into a hug.

"It is so good to meet both of you! I'm Esme Cullen, if you even think about calling me Mrs Cullen you'll be sleeping in the car," She laughed.

"Momma C had never actually warmed to being 'Mrs Cullen' apparently that's 'the dragon lady' mother in law," Emmett boomed.

"Emmett!" Esme warned. "Now dinner won't be for a few more hours, Carlisle won't be too much longer, apparently there was some big emergency at the hospital," She told everyone before turning to Emmett and Jasper. "Now boys, I have cleared it with your parents and we all agree the storm that is coming is far too dangerous for you to be driving in so you'll be staying here for the night, I hope that's not a problem. Isabella, Alice I pretty much let the kids do what they want, but we do have a few house rules, they're simple enough.

"Firstly, there will be no under aged drinking in our house, second we all help out around here, if the girls cook, boys clean and vice versa, and finally I know you all think you are adults but until each and every one of you are over the age of 18 there will be no boys sneaking into girls rooms etc etc. Is that okay?" She explained.

"Yes, Mrs... Esme," we agreed.

"Great, well now that you have embarrassed both Edward and me, mom, I hope you will excuse us we are sopping wet and need to change. Boys, do you wanna meet in the media room in 5?" Rose asked before leading the way to her bedroom.

Rosalie's bedroom was almost as big as my bedroom back in LA; her walls were a beautiful sea green, a bay window at the far end with cream white curtains hanging behind a white couch. The four poster white bed sat in the very middle of the room with matching bedside tables on either side, her matching white desk sat at the other end of the room, it was empty with the exception of a few photos of Edward and her from when they were younger. She also had a massive walk in robe that was bigger than Alice and my bathroom back at college with an ensuite leading off it.

We took turns in having a hot shower to warm ourselves up again. I couldn't be bothered pulling on another pair of jeans, instead opting for a comfy pair of sweat pants and a hoodie, the girls were similarly dressed. It was just that kind of weather.

We made our way down to the media room; it was what I originally thought to be the basement and like the rest of the house the walls were all made of stone bricks, there were no windows in the media room. Along the back wall stood a solid wood entertainment unit with a 72inch LCD TV, there were two brown overstuffed comfortable looking sofas and a matching recliner, and millions of cushions and blankets strewn about the room. The centre of the room held a large coffee table that matched the entertainment unit; Esme had already laid out a few packets of chips and drinks for us.

"So, what are we watching ladies?" Emmett boomed as the boys walked in after us.

They were all in sweats as well, I looked at Edward; I had seen him in Khakis, ironed jeans, old jeans, and now sweats. I was beginning to wonder was there anything this boy didn't look good in. His grey sweat pants hung low on his hips, making you want to just rip them off in mere curiosity for what was even lower, his white t-shirt clung to him and for the first time since I had met him I wanted to walk right up to him and touch him just to make sure he was real.

Rose elbowed me in the ribs quickly before giving me a stare that half said 'Cut it out' the other telling me 'I told you so'. I ripped my eyes of a ripped Edward.

"Shotgun choosing!" Rose called as she made her way over to the entertainment unit to look for a DVD.

We all settled down to watch whatever Rose was going to pick, Alice and Jasper took one of the couches, Emmett flopped in a bean bag waiting for Rose, and Edward and I sat on the other couch. Edward draped a blanket over our legs to keep us warm.

"Ready guys?" Rose asked as she settled down next to Emmett with the DVD remote in her hand before pressing play.

The six of us sat and watched 'Killers', barely 15minutes into the movies as Ashton Kutcher kissed Katherine Heigl , I adopted Alice's lack of filter.

"Man! I hate it when he kisses other girls," I groaned.

To that I had a few pieces of popcorn being thrown at me from the boys and while Alice and Rosalie agreed whole heartedly.

"Seriously Swan? Ashton Kutcher doesn't strike me as your type," Edward whispered.

"He is every girls type Cullen. Kinda like yo... never mind," I stopped before I said anything I would regret.

Edward stared at me with a devilish grin on his face. I tried with all my might to avoid his stare for the rest of the movie.

-x-x-x-

A little after 6.00pm Mr. Cullen, or Carlisle as he told us to call him, came home and Esme called us all into the dining room for dinner.

"So Isabella, what's you major?" Esme asked me.

"Actually, I don't have a major yet, I thought I would decide after my first year," I replied nervously.

"You sound just like Edward, dear. Now I know why you're friends," Esme said kindly.

Conversation flowed through out dinner, Esme and Carlisle asked as all about college and despite only knowing Alice and I for only a few hours were very interested in our lives. I learnt that Esme was an interior designer, which would explain their exquisite house, and Carlisle was Chief of Surgery at Port Angeles Mercy Hospital. They were the kindest people I had ever had the pleasure of meeting, they had opened their home and their hearts to four kids that weren't their children, and in later years we would all come to call this house home at one time or another.

After dinner the six of us practically ordered Esme out of the kitchen to clean up, Emmett was up to his usual antics, throwing soap bubbles at everyone before Rose stepped in and put him on drying duty instead of washing up,

Carlisle and Esme decided to have a games night, by the time we had all returned to the media room there were dozens of board games laid out on the coffee table. Esme was setting up Balderdash as we all took our seats around the coffee table.

After several hilarious games of Balderdash and one failed attempt at Clue, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett and Jasper decided to start playing Twister. I could see this ending in tears or at least a few bruises; all four of them were really competitive and would try to push one another over every time they had to change position.

It was nearing 11.00pm when Esme finally stood up and yawned a good night to us, reminding us all not to go to bed too late, after all tomorrow was Thanksgiving.

-x-x-x-

I woke up the next morning in the most comfortable bed ever, I lay there for a few minutes trying to wake myself up, Rose, Alice and I all shared Rose's room last night.

"Bella?" Alice called from the door.

I sat up to look at her. "What's up?"

"Esme said that breakfast will be ready in 10minutes, I thought maybe you'd like to have a shower first," She told me.

"Thanks Alice, I'll be down soon," I smiled.

I made my way to the bathroom, had a quick shower and slipped into my old comfy jeans, white t-shirt and leather jacket. I scrunched my wet hair up to define my curls before making my way downstairs for breakfast.

Everyone was seated at the kitchen table waiting for me, I apologised quickly before taking a seat between Alice and Edward.

"Good morning Isabella," Esme called from the kitchen.

"Good morning Esme, and please it's just Bella," I smiled back.

Esme placed a stack of pancakes, bacon and eggs on the table; it took barely five seconds for the three boys to be into the food. After everyone was seated and quietly eating Esme started to speak.

"Okay, so here is the plan of attack for today. Everyone has a job to do, there will be no slacking. Okay, Bella and Edward do you mind heading to the store after breakfast to get a few last minute things for dinner?" She asked us.

"Sure thing mom," Edward replied before shoving eggs into his mouth.

"Excellent. Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper your on silverware duty, the good plates and cutlery all need a good polish. Carlisle, you and I are on general house cleaning duties, once Bella and Edward are back the girls and I will start cooking. Boys you are free until an hour before dinner, and then I need you to set the table. The McCarty's should be here about half an hour before dinner, so I expect everyone to be dressed and presentable before then. Are we all okay with that?" She finished.

We all nodded, and agreed with the plan. That was until Emmett being Emmett started talking.

"Ahh, Momma C? I'd like to take something up with hotel management. What's the menu for dinner and dessert?" He asked, always thinking of his stomach.

No matter how much you try and fight the urge to not laugh at Emmett you always end up laughing ten times as much, we all sat there in fits of laughter while we tried to finish breakfast.

Edward and I had planned on leaving as soon as Alice, Rose and I had finished cleaning up the breakfast dishes. As usual he was waiting for me next to the door with a childish grin on his face.

"Swan," He said, just as he had always greeted me.

"Cullen," I replied. "Let's get this turkey show on the road,"

On our way to the store Edward gave me 'the Grand Tour of Port Angeles', it was a small logging town, they had a few strip malls with cafes and boutiques. It was definitely a breath of fresh air compared to what I was used to.

We made our way through the store, making sure we didn't miss anything that was on Esme's shopping list. Every now and then Edward would try and sneak a chocolate bar or magazine into the cart but I always caught him, it was like shopping with a five year old sometimes. We were in the produce department trying to pick out the best pumpkin we could when...

"Eddie!" I heard a familiar yet sickening voice call. I couldn't help but cringe.

Sure enough, walking towards us was Tanya. She wore an evil smirk that I wanted to wipe right of her ugly pug face.

"Tanya," Edward greeted in a monotone voice. His whole demeanour changed as soon as he saw her, the smile that he had been sporting for most of the morning was gone and his eyes looked cold and vacant.

"Oh! It's so good to see you here! I was hoping I would run into you! How are you?" She asked, although she didn't stop to wait for an answer instead she kept talking. "You know I was thinking, we have had enough space to breathe and think, but really Eddie, we worked well didn't we? I am willing to over look your little outburst a few weeks ago and go back to being us,"

I was dumbstruck. Did this bitch really think she was worthy of Edward?

"Tanya, like I told you three weeks ago. We are done..." He started before she cut him off.

"Oh Eddie, I know what you said, but really? We are meant to be, I mean what can she give you that I can't?" She asked, again not waiting for an answer before turning to me. "Nice move by the way, moving in on a man who is newly single. Don't you realise that you are just the rebound girl,"

"Enough!" Edward interrupted. "I won't stand here and allow you to fucking speak to Isabella that way. As for what she can give me that you can't, try an intellectual conversation, or maybe she doesn't want just one thing from me unlike you, Isabella is funny, smart, kind and caring, everything you are fucking not. And she is definitely _not _a rebound,"

Tanya just stood there looking at him, she looked like she was about to spit fire.

"Well," She huffed. "If that's the way you feel. I guess we have nothing left to say. Good bye Edward."

She turned on her heel and marched away, I was sure she was going to punch anyone in her firing line.

I turned to look at Edward, trying to find an explanation for what had just happened. Tanya had just accused us of being in a relationship, and not only had he not denied it but he stood up for me, basically telling her I am better than her in more ways than one.

"What?" He asked noticing my stare.

"Umm, what just happened?" I asked.

"I told Tanya to fuck off one and for all," Edward clarified.

"Yes, but what about that thing you said about me?"

"I told her the truth; you are everything she's not,"

Maybe it was nothing, maybe I was reading too far into what Edward had said, either way I decided not to push the matter.

We made our way to the cashier, paying for the groceries before heading back to the Cullen's house.

-x-x-x-

After a failed attempt at trying to help Esme cooked dinner she eventually shooed us out of the kitchen. I was trying to figure out if it was Alice burning the potatoes, or me almost cutting my fingers off, or Rosalie practically flooding the kitchen because she forgot to watch the sink.

We decided to join the boys in the media room; they were pretty rowdy when we joined them, apparently they were all into football. Thankfully for us girls, they game was almost over.

"I could play better than half of those guys," Emmett shouted at fulltime.

"Really Em? I've seen you throw, you throw like a girl," Edward goaded.

"Ha! And you could do better Edward?" Rosalie said, sticking up for Emmett.

"You know what, you're on! 3 on 3, 5 minutes in the backyard," Edward declared.

What? What had just happened? Had he really just pull us all into a football game?

We were all standing in the Cullen's backyard waiting for teams to be picked; Edward and Emmett were the captains. The rain had subsided for the day, that didn't mean that it wasn't going to be a muddy affair.

"Alice," Edward called.

Alice let out a little squeak in joy and skipped to stand behind Edward.

"Jazz," Emmett yelled.

"Rose,"

Great I was last. I was always the last person to be picked for teams in gym at school.

"I guess that means you're with me Izzy," Emmett said, he didn't seem too over joyed, but at least he tried to hide it a little.

The game started, there was mud flying everywhere, I'm pretty sure Emmett and Jasper had an unspoken agreement to keep the ball away from me. It was a dirty game, every time Emmett had the ball Rose tried to convince him to give him the ball, once she even tried to lift her shirt. Jasper would tickle Alice instead of tackling her, which immediately gave our team an advantage.

After each play, we would come back into a huddle, Emmett would tell me to go long and stay long. Once I went so long, I wandered into the kitchen grabbed a cinnabun that Esme had put out for lunch, and wandered back onto the 'field' with it.

"Where'd you get that from?" Jasper asked.

"I went long," I said simply.

At full time we were tied 4 all going into overtime.

"The next touchdown wins!" Emmett boomed.

I went long again waiting for the game to be over, Jasper had the ball trying to pass, but Emmett was double teamed. Out of the blue, Jasper hurled the football in my direction, even more surprisingly I caught it.

"Run Izzy!" Emmett and Jasper yelled in unison.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I looked around Edward was on my tail.

"You won't get far Swan, I'm onto you," He said in a velvety voice.

I sprinted even faster, I was barely 5meters from the line when I felt Edwards's hands around my waist, and I fought to run just a little bit further before he pulled me to the ground. Shit. Damn. Bugger. I thought to myself, I had lost the game.

"Congratulations Swan," Edward whispered in my ear.

Looking up and there it was my hand just over the line. I started yelling in triumph.

"Yes!" Emmett yelled. "Suck it Edward!"

I lay there on the ground soaking up my victory; my once clean white t-shirt was now covered in mud, my hair matted to my face, and all I could do was smile.

"Here Swan," Edward said holding out a hand to help me up.

"Thanks Cullen,"

I stood up smiling, still holding onto Edward's hand, I was memorized by him. It seemed like his emerald green eyes could see into my soul, his boyish smile was a little crooked and the sun made his hair shine in all different colours. I had never noticed until now how beautiful he truly was.

"Boys!" Esme called from the back door. "Time to set the table,"

Rosalie, Alice and I made our way upstairs to clean up and change for dinner while the boys set the table. Rosalie and Alice showered before me and were downstairs awaiting the McCarty's arrival by the time I had finished.

Dressed in my black lace dress, my hair curled and with a little bit of make up on I made my way downstairs. Just as I had walked into the hallway I literally ran into Edward, he was dressed in black dress pants, white button up shirt and a loose black tie.

"You scrub up well B," He told me with a smile.

Edward always called me Swan, or Isabella never Bella let alone B. I couldn't help but smile when he did call me B though.

"So do you Edward," I smiled back.

We stood there for the second time that day, a smile eliminating his face. Our eyes locked on each other. He lifted a hand to caress my cheek. My heart was beating fast and slow all at the same time. I didn't know how he did it; he made me want to believe that he could be the one to take away all the pain in the world.

His eyes glistened as he blinked, while leaning into me.

"Edward, Bella," Esme called from downstairs. "The McCarty's are here,"

I took in a deep breath, looking down at my feet.

"Let's do this Swan," He whispered.

We made our way downstairs, a heavily built man, who looked exactly like Emmett, and a small blonde woman, who was what I was sure Jasper would look like if he were a female, stood in the foyer, hugging and kissing everyone. Mrs McCarty had Emmett and Jasper in a group hug, telling them she had missed her boys.

"Edward, dear! How are you?" She cried, letting go of Emmett and Jasper and latching herself onto Edward.

"Good, thankyou Elanore," He said patting her on the back. "Ahh this is Isabella," He introduced.

"Oh, hello dear! You look perfect for Edward. I can see why he courted you," She said, giving me a smile.

I blushed a little.

"Elanore, no," Edward said shaking his head. "She's not my girlfriend,"

"Oh, well, all in good time," She told us, patting Edwards cheek before following everyone into the kitchen.

The McCarty's were ecstatic that Rosalie and Emmett were now dating; apparently Esme and Elanore had been planning their wedding since Rose was born. Whenever Esme or Elanore brought up the idea of marriage Rose would give them a stern look.

They were in love with Alice, telling Jasper so at every chance. Alice of course hated the attention; she shrunk behind Jasper allowing him to protect her, to which he did willingly.

-x-x-x-

Esme stood up from her seat next to Carlisle, we hadn't started dinner yet and were all waiting for the green light.

"Okay, first of all it's Thanksgiving and as is tradition we will go around the table and give thanks for the things we have in our lives. I thought I would stand up and thank you all now. Thank you to my two beautiful children for coming back home for Thanksgiving, I'm not quite ready to give you up to Seattle yet. Thank you to Emmett for looking after my Rosie, and Jasper for having my Edwards back. Thank you, Elanore and Tyler for being part of our family year after year and for many years to come. Thank you to my wonderful husband Carlisle, 20 years on and I still can't believe something life you could happen to me. And finally, to the two beautiful girls that decided to give our little family a chance thank you," She finished up by giving Alice and me a smile, raising her glass.

We went around the table thanking Esme for dinner, and adding our own little thanks, children, friends and family, boyfriends, girlfriends and football (Emmett). It finally came to Alice who turned to Jasper and thanked him for changing her life and for giving her the courage to be a better person.

Dinner was beautiful; I secretly thought the whole Cullen family was without flaws. The McCarty's and the Cullen's all formed one beautifully strong family, I felt so lucky that they had shared today with me. Dessert came and went fairly quickly thanks to Emmett.

Esme and Elanore refused help with the clean up afterwards instead shooing the six of us out. We had decided not to stay in the house; instead we squeezed into Emmett's Jeep and head towards the beach. We brought blankets with us as it was getting cool, the boys set up a bonfire to keep us warm.

"Who's up for a night cap?" Jasper chuckled pulling out a couple of six packs of beer.

We laughed, drank, and towards the end of the night we sang. It was almost midnight and the boys were dancing around the campfire doing a cross between the Mexican hat dance and a tribal dance. The three of us girls clung onto each other giggling at their idiocy. Out of nowhere Alice started hiccupping giving us another reason to laugh.

"Oh Ally baby, your gorgeous when you're drunked," Jasper laughed kissed the tip of her nose.

She went to hug him instead falling backwards off the log we were sitting one.

Jasper helped her up laughing at her.

"Hey Swan, come with me," Edward called.

Alice and Rosalie gave me an insightful look. I ignored it instead walking over to Edward he turned around to start walking draping an arm over my shoulder.

There it was that safe feeling again.

Maybe it was the beer or maybe it was Edward, but suddenly I wasn't cold any more I was toasty warm. We walked along the beach, quiet for a while enjoying each other's company before we stopped facing the ocean, Edward sat down I followed his lead.

"See that, B?" He said pointing out to the horizon.

I shook my head; I wasn't sure what I was meant to be looking at.

"That, the stars," He said looking at me smiling. "They kind of give you hope. That even when in the darkest of times there's still light, I used to come out here a lot when I was High School. Nothing really made sense to me then, it here that I made the decision to go to U-Dub. Take a chance you know.

"My parents, they have always encourage Rosalie and me to pursue our dreams, and I'm still not sure what my dream is, but I'm writing my story B,"

I didn't know what to say, I sat there in his arms.

"Thank you," I whispered snuggling in closer to him.

We sat there for a few minutes; every now and then Edward would point out a certain star and explain its history.

"What's your story B?" he asked.

"I don't think you really want to hear about that tonight Edward," I told him.

"Sure I do,"

"No, it would kill your buzz,"

Thankfully he dropped the matter; instead he suggested we head back to the others. We walked back in silence, returning to find Alice asleep on Jaspers shoulder and Emmett and Rosalie talking quietly.

"Good, your back. Ready to head home?" Emmett asked.

"Sure are, but none of us can drive," I answered.

"Oh contraire my little Izzy, while you losers were drinking I was being the responsible adult. Unlike some of us, who shall remain nameless, I don't need alcohol to act like an idiot," He said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Now haul ass and get in the car, or I'll leave the lot of you here,"

We made it back to the Cullen's in one piece; Emmett sang 'Sunshine on a Rainy Day' all the way home just to annoy the five of us. Instead of the six of us trying to climb the stairs and chance Esme and Carlisle finding us all drunk we crept down to the media room, the boys pulled out the queen sized sofa bed to which the six of us, all being stubborn, decided to sleep on together. It was a tight fit; thankfully it was Emmett and Edward who were on the ends, so I didn't have to worry about falling off in the middle of the night.

That night I slept peacefully in Edwards arms, dreaming about stars.

**A/N- Wow! I love this chapter.**

**Everyone was able to get away from the seriousness of college and relax for a few days. And that they did! I love the idea of Thanksgiving, and am actually trying to introduce it into my little family this year, fingers crossed it works.**

**What was your favourite part? Mine – When Edward showed Bella the stars at the beach.**

**Next update should be out in a weeks time, I've found my own little sanctuary to write now so it's much easier to escape life. That being said I am also about to head into my Mid-Semester Break at Uni, so I have a lot of assignments to complete so please don't get mad if it takes a little longer to post.**

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Here it is Chapter 7!**

**Let me know what you think! :)**

The rest of Thanksgiving weekend was uneventful, it rained a lot in Port Angeles, more so than Seattle. We remained indoors for the most part, watching movies, playing multiple games of Monopoly, the boys even tried to teach us how to play Poker, little did they know we were pretty much pro's bleeding them dry of all their M 'n' Ms we were betting with. Esme kept true to her word, feeding us copious amounts of food before we went back to College on Sunday afternoon, she even went as far as packing each of us our own 'food care package'.

December rolled in quickly; we were snowed under, figuratively and literally. Professors kept piling up our work load, all the way up until Winter Break, at one point I wasn't quite sure how I was going to keep up, that was until a snow storm hit a week before break. I thanked the heavens; no one could leave the confines of their homes for three days, as such we were all able to catch up on assignments. On the third day however, after we had all caught up with our assignments and Emmett was getting a little antsy in the dorm, the six of us decided to brave the weather and soak up a few last minutes together before Christmas. That was until the boy's declared a snow ball fight, resulting in three of us walking away with very bruised egos.

Christmas came and went; I flew back to LA, as promised to my mother. I knew that I was home, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like I had left my home when I left Seattle. My mother kept dropping snide comments about how the college food had made me gain weight, or I was getting too pale, my reply to her was that unlike every girl in LA I ate, and I didn't waste my time and money on spray tans or solariums. My father on the hand kept telling me how proud he was that I was finally doing something on my own.

On Christmas morning I received 3 separate text messages, all of which bringing a smile to my face.

Merry Christmas Bella, I hope you are having a fabulous time with your family! Can't wait to see you in a few days time. Xx Alice & Jazz

_**Berry Xmas Izzy. I hope uve been gud, and Santa paid u a visit. Cant w8 for New Years Yewwww! Lurve Emmett and Rosie**_

_Merry Christmas B, have a wonderful time with your family while your home, because we won't let you go back, your U-Dub family miss you like crazy. Especially me. Love Edward_

Although I did have an amazing time with my family in LA, I did miss my friends in Seattle. I could barely sit still the plane ride back, I practically ran from my seat to baggage collection just so I could be the first in line for a cab. Pointless I know I still had to wait for my luggage which was one of the last on the conveyor belt.

I made my way out of the airport, making a beeline for the Taxi Rank, had I not almost dropped my purse I would never have stopped and seen it.

Edward, standing in front of his Shiny Black Mercedes holding a sign that read 'SWAN – Get your ass in the car so I can go home', as soon as I spotted him I laughed, running up to him, giving him a huge hug, I couldn't believe I was home.

"Welcome back B, I fucking missed you," He said, squeezing me tight. I really didn't want to let go. It was just too good to be home.

The car ride back to College was pleasant; Edward kept asking me about home and whether I had had a good time, although they were all open ended questions I answered with a simple yes or no. All I really wanted to hear about was Edward and his Christmas. I was surprised when he told me that it was a very low key day, hard to believe considering Thanksgiving was spectacular. Regardless I wanted to hear every detail.

I was almost knocked over when I opened the door to mine and Alice's room when we had arrived back on campus. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett were all waiting for my return.

"Bella!" Alice cried as she ran up to hug me.

Alice had certainly come out of her shell since the start of the school year, if I hadn't known better I would have thought she always had this much energy.

"I'm _so_ glad your home! How was LA?" She asked.

"Good. And it's good to be home," I replied simply.

"Welcome home Bella," Rose said hugging me into her side.

Emmett gave me a big welcoming grin, and Jasper told me a quick welcome home as he tried to rein Alice in.

That afternoon and well into the night the six of us lounged about the room, exchanging Christmas gifts as we had forgotten before I left, eating Chinese food – Jewish people do it on Christmas day all the time, and this was after all Christmas 2.0 – and planning our New Years Eve.

-x-x-x-

"Rose, can I borrow your red lipstick?" Alice called from our small bathroom.

The three of us were getting ready for our New Years Eve, we had planned to go out to a nice dinner and soak up the festivities around town before making our way back to a hotel in the city to reign in the New Year together, while watching the fireworks.

"Here, but I'm taking your sparkly cuff," Rose said as she handed Alice the lipstick.

Alice was wearing a simple satin red strapless dress; it fit her perfectly cinching at the waist and flowing down stopping right before her knees. Her hair was straightened and flicked out at all ends; the red lipstick seemed to accentuate the red tinges in her hair perfectly. While Rosalie wore a fitting black one long sleeve dress that clung to the curves of her body flawlessly wearing black pumps to show off her long legs, her long blonde hair was done up in an elegant knot at the nape of her neck.

I couldn't help but envy these two girls, they were gorgeous and knew exactly how to pull off anything that they wore.

I ran my fingers through my hair one last time before stepping back and making sure I looked okay. The dress I was wearing was dark red and black with black straps, very rocker glam. I didn't want to be dressed to the nines instead choosing to down play my look with my trusty black converses. I had smoky make up and my hair was worn out naturally.

"Are you girls almost ready?" I asked. They had a tendency of always running late, and I knew our reservations wouldn't be held if we were running too late, especially tonight.

"I am now," Rosalie sang as she bounced over to the door picking up her purse. "Oh Bella, you aren't really going to wear those shoes are you?" She critiqued.

"Yes, I am. And there is nothing you can do to stop me. You'll both be complaining in a couple of hours because your feet will hurt. I won't, you wait and see!" I replied. I was determined to be right.

I received a quick 'humph' in reply. We were just about to make our way down to the common room, where we would meet the boys, when there was a quick knock on our door.

Instinctively I wrenched open the door without even giving it another thought. There standing in from of me was Emmett, Jasper and Edward, each of them holding a flower.

"Ladies," Emmett greeted us. He made his way over to Rosalie, kissing her on the cheek before handing her a red rose. Jasper walked over Alice giving her a quick hug kissing the tip of her nose and handing her a black rose.

"Me lady," He said in southern accent.

I couldn't help but smile at the happy couples.

"I'm sorry about this Swan. I was dragged into every florist today just so they could make this 'romantic gesture'," Edward whispered while rolling his eyes.

"This is for you though; I didn't want you to miss out. You look beautiful by the way," He smiled handing me a crisp white orchid. It was beautiful, I was lost for words. I just gapped at him in response.

"Thank you," I said simply.

After putting our flowers into a make shift vase, the six of us made our way downstairs to Emmett's car, squeezing in, and hiding Alice just in case we were pulled over.

We had dinner at a small restaurant in the heart of Seattle called 'Bella Italia', the food was beautiful, and filling – classic Italian. I sat back and took in my scenery, I was surrounded by five dear friends on New Years Eve, and unlike every other New Years I had celebrated we were all getting along, no one was yelling or giving someone the silent treatment. We were laughing and happy.

"Okay, Okay," Alice chimed, picking her glass up. "I don't know if I'll be able to say this later on in the night but, I would like to make a toast. We have all come a long way since orientation, and I certainly wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for each and every one of you, you all helped me find my place. For once I feel like I belong.

"So here is to new friendships, new loves, and new beginnings," She smiled.

We all raised our glasses in silence, I couldn't help but smile. It was like the final scene in 'Will & Grace' where the four friends raise their glasses, and without saying a word all knew what the other was thinking. We were lucky to have one another, and lucky to start a new year in each other's presence.

I looked in Edward's direction; he gave me one of his signature crooked grins and nodded at me.

It was 8:45pm by the time we finished dinner, the six of us made our way through the city, stopping here and there at New Years Eve attractions. Emmett being the big kid he is had to stop and watch the family fireworks at 9:00pm, oooing and ahhing at the different colours and patterns.

Afterwards Jasper led us into a small pub where Maroon 5 were playing; we only stayed for a few songs as the crowd was growing by the minute. We stood there swaying to 'She will be loved', the ambiance was intense, even Alice singing at the top of her lungs in her horrid cat screech couldn't get me down from the high I was on.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder squeezing me into his side a little.

"They're fucking great live aren't they?" He said leaning in so I could hear.

I nodded in response. They really were great, it was electrifying being here.

For the next couple of minutes I relaxed into Edwards embrace, swaying to the music. Jasper had resorted to dancing with Alice, just so she would stop singing, Emmett and Rose were laughing at them.

"Come on shortie," Emmett boomed as 'Is Anybody Out There' started. "We're leaving voluntarily before we get kicked out for you disturbing the peace," He laughed as he steered an upset Alice to the door.

We followed Emmett and Alice out of the pub. Rose stopped at a bench rubbing her feet. I couldn't help but give her an 'I told you so' look.

"Oh shut up Bella," She snapped in response.

"I guess we should make our way to the hotel," Edward said coming to his sisters' rescue.

"Yes! I have party favours waiting, if you know what I mean," Emmett laughed.

"Just say you have booze, Emmett," Rose said as she elbowed him quickly in the ribs.

The hotel we had booked into for the night was a five star resort. Now it wasn't the Beverly Wilshire by any means, but it was gorgeous non-the less. It was my Christmas present to everyone, and a thank you to Rose and Edward for letting me stay with them over Thanksgiving.

"Wow Izzy, so this is what money can buy," Emmett boomed as we crossed the threshold of our room.

We had one room with two beds and a pull out; it was evident that Emmett had already been in earlier today because there was a case of beer, a bottle of vodka and Tequila, as well as limes and soft drink.

As soon as we set foot in the room both Rose and Alice had quite literally kicked their heels off, sighing in relief, I couldn't help but laugh as they did so.

"Here Swan," Edward said as he came to stand beside me, handing me a beer.

"Thanks Cullen,"

We sat around laughing and drinking for half an hour, Emmett had pulled out the Tequila and Vodka forcing everyone to do shots with him.

"Emmett, how about you stop trying to get everyone inebriated before midnight, why don't we play Kings instead?" Jasper suggested.

The rest of us agreed, Emmett usually made everyone match his drinks until _he_ was drunk. This didn't usually work well for us girls because Emmett could hold his liquor.

We set up the game sitting ourselves in a circle, placing a large cup full of Vodka, Lemonade and Lime in the centre of all the playing cards.

We we around the circle picking up cards, unlucky for us Emmett picked up an Ace – The Waterfall card – Emmett being Emmett needed to skull his whole drink, so none of us could stop until he did, fortunately for me I was on his immediate right and didn't have to drink as much as Rosalie who was on his left hand side.

The game went on for a good forty five minutes, Alice had received the last King and as a result had to drink the new concoction of Vodka, Lemonade, Lime, Beer, and lots of Tequila. The result wasn't pretty, she stumbled around the room, spinning and dancing, singing and telling everyone she loved them and the reasons why.

Edward, Jasper, Alice and I received too much information when I pulled an 8 – The I Never card – about Emmett and Rosalie's sex life. Apparently Rose's problem at Thanksgiving had resolved itself week later.

It was nearing midnight by the time our game had finished, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice all went to sit on the balcony to watch the main fireworks, I started to follow when I was pulled towards the door by Edward.

"Cullen, what are you doing? We are going to miss the fireworks!" I protested.

"No we aren't just follow me," He told me calmly.

He pulled me into an elevator pressing the button for the roof. I kept my mouth shut, trusting him whole heartedly. When we arrive I couldn't believe what I was seeing, the atmosphere on the roof was spectacular, nothing could compare. We could see the whole of Seattle from up here, down below we could hear Emmett booming about getting tequila shots ready for the countdown.

We stood in silence for a couple of minutes taking in the view, laughing every now and then at the comments we heard from below.

"It's beautiful Edward," I said simply.

"I know,"

In the distance we could hear people shouting

5!

4!

3!

2!

...1!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" We heard Seattle shout.

Edward turned to face me as the fireworks started, his face being lit up by the different colours of the sky. I thought the view of Seattle was beautiful, I stood corrected, Edward was.

"Happy New Year B," He whispered cupping my face in his hands.

Just as I was about to respond he leant in and kissed me; softly, tenderly, and lovingly.

Now, don't get me wrong, I had been kissed before, heaps of times, but this kiss there was just so much more to it.

From that one kiss I could feel the want, the passion, and the need. It felt like this kiss could fulfil every dream I have ever had, it awakened the long lost hope within my soul. It made me want to want again. I surrendered to him, entwining my hands in his hair, taking in his scent, pressing my body up to his, just to be closer. We fit together, like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Right there in that moment, for the first time in almost a decade I made a wish on a star.

**A/N – Yay! B & E just kissed! What's in store for them next? ;)**

**Sorry this chapter was delayed, but like I mentioned a week and a half ago, I had a truck load of assignments to finish before **_**my**_** mid semester break, and to say it was make or break is an understatement.**

**But, have no fear! I am off for a week so I hope to have another chapter out in a couple of days!**

**Now, I have a reason as to why Jasper gave Alice a **_**Black**_** Rose, so please don't think the worst. Most people associate Black Roses with death, but in actual fact they mean 'New Beginnings and Rebirth' something that I think is really good for Alice, especially given her past :)**

**What was your favourite part?**

**Don't be afraid to review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – Here's Chapter 8.**

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are , I'm just playing around with them. **

"He what?" Alice screeched.

It was too early in the morning for her high pitched voice.

"Alice, shoosh," I said, rubbing my temples.

"I'm sorry, but I can't get over the fact that Edward kissed you! And it has taken you almost a week to tell me! What's with that Bella? I thought we were friends,"

It was our first day back to lessons after our break; it had taken me a few days process the events that had taken place on New Years myself.

_After what felt like barely seconds, but in reality it was probably quite a few minutes, we finally broke apart._

"_Edward," was all I could say._

_I was still holding on to him, one of my hands twisted in his hair. One of his hands was still cupping my face the other holding me around my waist._

"_B, I... ah... I'd say I was sorry, but... I'm not," He whispered before laughing._

_His laughter was infectious. We stood there laughing, holding onto each other._

"_I'm glad you did," I eventually told him. "It was definitely a good start to the new year,"_

"_I have wanted to kiss you since Thanksgiving, and I couldn't hold back any longer," He said kissing me softly on the lips again._

"Bella. Hello?" Alice said waving her hands in front of my face.

I snapped back into reality at that moment remember I was having a conversation with Alice.

"Where'd you go?" She asked.

"No where," I said shaking my head. "And we are friends Alice, but last time I checked I didn't need to report everything," I took a sip of my tea, I knew that was the right amount of fuel to add to the fire and I wouldn't need to come back into the conversation for at least another fifteen minutes.

"Isabella Swan! How dare you! I have kept you up to speed on everything involving Jasper... wait a second I know what you just did! You tried changing the subject without actually changing it!" She accused.

Damn!

"What? Alice I would never do such a thing,"

"Pahlease Bella, I may have only known you for a few months but I knew your escape methods within a week," She explained. "Now, details on Edward. Are youse dating? When is he taking you out? How did I not notice the two of you missing at midnight?"

"No. I don't know. And you were completely and utterly fucked by midnight," I replied, biting into my apple.

Alice laid it into me for the next ten minutes, that was until Rose and Emmett joined us. I had sworn her to secrecy, at least until I knew what was going on.

Monday dragged, Tuesday was just as bad, and by Wednesday I found myself talking about Edward constantly, when I wasn't talking about him I was thinking about him. What was he doing? Why hadn't he called? Should I call him?

It was 4:00pm and I was sitting in my room throwing my phone up in the air waiting for some sort of sign.

_Buzz Buzz_. One new text message. I ended up dropping my phone on my face at the surprise.

_Have you been avoiding me Swan? –E_

_**Of course not! I was just about to text you actually. –B**_

That wasn't completely a lie, i thought to myself as I rubbed the sore spot on my forehead from where my phone hit me.

_Fantastic, well in that case... I need to cancel Sunday Coffee this week. – E_

_**Why? Is everything okay? –B**_

_Everything is perfect; I just wanted to have coffee now :) Common Room in 5? –E_

_**I'll be there –B**_

Thank god! I thought. I was going insane.

I jumped off my bed and ran to look at myself in the mirror. Ugh, I looked like I had just rolled out of bed. I raced around my room trying to make myself look half decent, pulling off my hoodie, throwing on a plain white t-shirt and my leather jacket, fluffing my hair and swiping on a new coat of mascara. I hopped out the door while trying to put my Vans on, falling face first onto the ground. I recovered, hoping no one had seen me and raced down to the common room, where Edward was waiting for me.

"You're late," He laughed.

"You'll get over it and live. I promise." I laughed back.

He turned to face the door, draping his arm across my shoulders.

"Come on Swan. Let's get this afternoon special on the road," He said making his way out the door.

"Hey! That's my line!"

"You'll get over it and live,"

We were quiet as we made our way to the coffee shop, ordering our usual drinks before making our way to our usual table getting ready for our usual weekly updates.

"So Cullen, how's you week been? I'm assuming quite eventful considering you called an early meeting," I teased.

"Actually Swan, it's quite the opposite. Mainly I've just been thinking, and I couldn't come to a conclusion about my thoughts so I thought I'd ask you what you think," He replied in a half sarcastic half sincere tone.

"That's a lot of thinking going on there Cullen, what's the issue?"

"Well, on New Years I spent the night with my friends. All was well and good until just before midnight, I found myself in a compromising position with one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes on,"

I knew what he was doing and played along.

"Beautiful hey? What's she like? Would I approve?" I laughed.

"Fuck, she's gorgeous, beautiful big brown eyes, 5 foot 4, skin as clear as day, and messy brown hair – I sometimes wonder if she ever actually runs a fucking brush through it," he jested.

"Probably not, it's just too hard sometimes,"

"Would you fucking stop interrupting me Swan? Anyway, when we kissed there was nothing else like it,"

I started to zone out after that, inside I was doing my happy dance aka the running man and I was singing _He likes me, he likes me, he really really liiikes me!_

"Swan? Swan, what do you think?" He smiled at me.

"What?" I replied, shit I needed to stop zoning out when people were talking.

"Do. You. Think. She. Would. Say. Yes. If. I. Asked. Her. Out?" He said slowly.

I sat there for a few minutes, sipping my iced tea lemonade, acting like I was pondering the questions when in actual fact inside I was screaming _YES YES YES!_ I looked back up at him, his green eyes sparkled a little waiting for my response.

"Cullen you're a fucking idiot, of course she would. She'd be an idiot not to," I told him solemnly, slurping up the rest of my drink.

"Attractive Swan," He laughed at me.

"I try," I flashed a toothy grin back at him.

"What about you Swan, has your first week back been okay?"

"Yep," I said popping the p.

I knew Edward hated my one word answers, he gave me an annoyed look that told me to elaborate.

"Ugh, it's all pretty much the same as before break, classes, putting up with Alice. I made a few New Years Resolutions though," I smiled.

"See this is the kind of conversation I like, you say something that I can comment on, I reply with something witty," He replied.

"Aren't the witty comments my domain Cullen?"

"Whatever Swan, any way New Years Resolutions, you don't strike me as someone who would plan things to achieve considering you haven't chosen a major yet," He said.

"Smart Ass, and actually that is one of my resolutions; choose a major, that was actually the first thing I crossed off,"

I really had been thinking about my major, I don't know something about being with Edward on New Years kind of made me make up my mind for once, I wanted to make solid plans for something, and I guess my major was the first thing I came up with.

"And?"

"And, I think I'm going to major in English Literature, maybe become a novelist. I dunno, it's stupid,"

I realised as soon as it came out of my mouth for the first time that it did seem stupid. What kind of 18 year old wanted to become a writer, I mean where was the stability in that kind of career. Everything you had laid in the metaphorical hands of a story, was that really something I wanted to risk?

"For once in your life Swan, stop fucking over analysing things. You'd be a great author! What about the rest of your resolutions?" Edward reassured me.

"If I tell you them, they won't come true," I said, shaking the remaining ice in my cup.

"That's shooting stars, or birthday wishes, not resolutions,"

Did I really want to give away everything? I looked up at him.

"Ugh Fine! I want to go to New York, don't ask why it's just always appealed to me. I want to learn how to play Band Hero, get a tattoo and I want to take a chance," I sighed.

Edward just sat there and stared at me.

"Okay so they all seem pretty reasonable," He said sincerely. "But really you don't know how to play Band Hero? You know how to play poker with the best of them, but you can't play Band Hero?" He laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him, standing up from the table getting ready to leave, Edward took the hint.

"I just can't seem to master the whole two different things at once," I replied honestly.

"You're a woman Swan, you're meant to know how to multi task," He said as he held the door open for me.

I hit him as I walked past him. "Sexist much? And I can multi task, I just can't master Band Hero,"

Band Hero was the our conversation topic all the way back to campus, by the end of it Edward had promised to teach me everything that I would need to know to beat 'The Band Hero King' – Emmett.

"Hey B," Edward started.

We had reached our fork where he would keep ascending the stairs and I would go to my room, this was where all our goodbyes happened.

"Yeah?" I replied.

Edward was standing there wringing his hands as though he was nervous.

"What are you doing Friday night?" He asked.

"Ahh, probably trying to avoid Alice and Rosalie, they wanted to do a home-spa night,"

"Okay, I was... I mean I wanted... doyouwannagooutfordinner?" He blurted out.

I looked at him confused, I didn't catch the last part.

"Sorry?"

"Dinner. Did you want to go with me? On Friday I mean?" He finally said.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes," I beamed.

"Okay. Right. Well. Friday. Bye," He said before walking away.

-x-x-x-

Damn me and my big mouth! I should never have told Alice and Rosalie that I was going out with Edward on Friday night. Now instead of sitting in front of my TV watching 'How I met your mother' I was being subjected to torture or what I was convinced was torture at least.

"Bella, sit still on I won't get your face mask on evenly," Rosalie said before jerking my head to face her.

"Rose, I don't see how this is necessary," I started.

"Oh shut up Bella, this will make your skin as smooth as a baby's bum," Rosalie replied.

"Edward won't want to keep his hands off you after we've finished with you!" Alice interjected.

"Why would Edward want to kiss a baby's bum?" I asked.

I earned a few glares for that comment.

"Whatever," I said as I rolled my eyes. "Anyway have you girls seen that new girl Lauren?"

Earlier today while I was running late for my Literature Lecture I ran into a girl who I had never seen before, she was moving into our dorm. When I first saw her I did a classic Bella and judged her. She was wearing black skinny jeans, an over sized faded blue t-shirt tied up at the side and a black leather jacket. Her dirty blonde hair was in a knot on top of her head. There was something about her that I liked.

"Yeah, there is something about her I _don't_ like," Alice said.

"Why? She seemed fine to me," I contested.

"Wait, is she the one that looks like she needs a good hair treatment?" Rosalie asked.

"Yep that's her! I dunno, something is just off about her," Alice continued. "She seems kinda out of it, that's all,"

"She needs a good make over; I mean have you seen her clothes?" Rosalie added.

"Hey! I dress like that!"

"Yes, but we can control when you look like a... slob, for lack of a better word. I mean seriously Bella you have this massive wardrobe full of Gucci, Prada, and Chanel, and I am pretty sure I have even caught a glimpse of a Cartier watch hidden amongst all of those designer clothes," Rosalie said as she finished putting on my face mask.

I glared at her, what was wrong with the way I dressed? In a huff I got up from my seat and went to sulk on my bed. What did they know any way?

"Oh Bella, stop pouting! We love you regardless, and apparently Edward seems to as well!" Alice said as she sat down next to me picking up my hand starting to give me a manicure. "Besides, we always try to make you feel comfortable! I mean take New Years for example, we allowed you to wear your converses out, despite the fact that those black Chanel pumps hidden under your bed would have looked so much better,"

There was no point in arguing, it would just take far too much energy, so I conceded defeat.

The rest of the night was painless enough, Alice and Rose decided to compromise and allow me to watch 'How I met your mother' while they painted their nails, eventually attacking mine. By the end of the night we were de-pored, freshly manicured and pedicure, and had treatments through our hair. We had even re-dyed Alice's hair; the red was starting to fade.

-x-x-x-

Friday morning I was running late, yet again. Alice had unplugged our alarm clock last night so she would blow dry her hair in front of the TV. I ran down to the dining hall grabbing an apple and a to-go cup of tea so I could at least make it to the second half of my first class.

"Bella," I heard someone call.

I whirled around to see Lauren making her way towards me. I really didn't see what Alice and Rosalie were talking about; she didn't look 'out of it' or like a 'slob' to me.

"Hey Lauren. I'm sorry I'm running so late I can't stop," I quickly said, I felt bad but it was true.

"That's okay, we can walk and talk if you like," She said smiling at me.

We made our way towards my classroom.

"So are you up to anything tonight?" Lauren asked.

"Actually I have a date, so I'm not really sure what I'm doing," I laughed. "What about you?"

"Well I was actually going to see if you wanted to hang out, maybe another time,"

"Yeah, definitely. What about Saturday night?"

Lauren and I made plans to catch up on Saturday night before I arrived at my class.

Thankfully Fridays were only half days for me, and despite my tardiness to begin with the rest of the day went relatively smoothly. That afternoon, by the time I got back to my dorm and had settled down on my bed to watch a quick movie Alice came huffing through the door.

"What's wrong?" I asked with a mouthful of chocolate.

"Ugh! My stupid Design Professor failed me on a quiz this afternoon because I was 5 minutes late!" She said as she flopped down at the foot of my bed.

"Alice, why in the world were you late? Your class started at 12.00pm and you were up before me as well,"

"Well, Jasper and I were..." She started.

"Ahhh La La La, I don't want to know. Forget I even asked!" I said shoving my fingers in my ears.

"Get over it Bella," Alice replied rolling her eyes.

We sat watching Romeo and Juliet; Alice repossessed my chocolate telling me if I kept eating 'junk' I would be the size of a house.

"Why does he always have to die at the end of movies?" Alice sighed. "It's just not fair. And he is SO cute!"

"What's it with you and gangly blondes Alice?" I laughed.

"Oh Ha Ha. Bella is funny! Besides you can't tell me Leonardo DiCaprio hasn't entered any of your dreams,"

"I'm not denying that, he can slip his slippers under my bed any day," I said throwing my pillow in her direction.

"Speaking of people slipping slippers under your bed, go have a shower! We only have 2 hours to get you ready for your date," She demanded.

"Exactly, 2 hours! I can have a have a shower 20 minutes before I need to leave and Edward won't care,"

"Well, I won't have any of that. Do as I say and have a shower, I promise I won't be too painful,"

"Demanding pixie," I mumbled under my breath as I trudged to the bathroom.

I did the usual "date prep" in the shower; washed my hair, shaved my legs. I even moisturised before emerging from the bathroom; towel on my hair and wrapped in my fluffy bathrobe. Alice had reorganised her desk and made it a beauty station, complete with a huge mirror.

"Sit," She demanded.

Not caring anymore I obeyed her, and went to my happy place; coffee with Edward, talking with Edward, laughing with Edward, chocolate.

"There," Alice declared an hour and a half later.

It was funny how the tables had turned; only a few months earlier I was giving Alice a makeover, trying to make her become the girl I knew she could be. Now here she was fluffing my hair and doing my makeup. She was right last night; she never transformed me too much so that I felt uncomfortable.

When Alice had finished she swung me around on the desk chair so I could look in the mirror. My usually unruly hair had been blow dried out, and curled to give that 'I spent hours on my hair just to make it look natural look' I had to admit though they did look like big natural curls. My make up was very me, just the bare essentials, foundation, powder, eye liner and mascara. I looked half way between 'Old Bella' and 'New Bella'. I liked it.

"Wow, Al I look like a girl!" I whispered.

"Well, dah! You are one, now get off your ass and get dressed Rose will be here any minute!" She cried.

"Rose? Why's Rose coming?" I questioned her.

"Actually it's Rose, Emmett, and Jasper. We all wanted to see you off before your big date, take pictures, tell you your gorgeous, and the boys want to give Edward 'The Talk'," She told me seriously.

"Alice Brandon! This isn't Prom, I don't need a big fanfare before I leave. And Emmett and Jasper do not, I repeat do not need to give Edward 'The Talk' they are his friends for Christ's sake,"

"Oh will you stop huffing and puffing you'll sweat your face off. Do you not trust that Rose will rein them in? Edward is her brother after all. Now go get dressed," Alice demanded again.

Hopping off the chair I made my way over to the bathroom, my clothes were hanging up waiting for me. I took my time getting dressed, I knew if I emerged before everyone arrived Alice would make me change. I danced along to the music in my head, halfway through 'Born this Way' I slipped on the bathmat and ended up falling in the bathtub, taking the shower curtain with me.

"Bella? What was that? Are you okay? What's taking so long?" Alice peppered me with questions from the other side of the door.

I heard Emmett laugh "She was probably trying to walk and chew gum at the same time,"

Getting back on my feet I rubbed my now sore ass. "I'm fine Alice! And I'm ready!" I shouted back.

I had been dressed for a good five minutes, hence the dancing. I looked at myself in the mirror, making sure I hadn't ruined my hair or make up before going to face the Spanish Inquisition. Walking out I was sure there would be a flood of comments about how I was dressed, that I should have worn a dress, but there wasn't. It was silence. I looked around at everyone, wondering what I had done wrong.

"Bella, I know I said you usually look like a slob, but wow!" Rose comment as she came to give me a hug.

Dressed in long black tights and a dusty pink Cooper Street singlet that stopped mid thigh, I was wearing a cream faux leather jacket to keep myself warm. I paired my outfit with Alice's black ballet flats.

"She's right Bella, you look gorgeous," Jasper agreed.

I heard a squeal come from behind Jasper and sure enough there was Alice with a camera. "Our girls first date!" She sang.

"Alice, we've talked about this,"

Alice waved me off as she snapped a few pictures.

"Now, let's talk about this Edward character. What are his intentions with you?" Emmett asked putting on a fake serious face.

"Oh you know we were going to go out get a couple of fake ID's and get pissed, maybe fuck a little. With any luck by morning I'll be pregnant with his child," I said nonchalantly. That wasn't the answer everyone was expecting from me, Alice stopping taking pictures, Rosalie and Jasper just stared at me, and Emmett had his mouth hanging open.

"Ha! Classic, I love it!" Emmett finally said laughing is head off.

"That's _so_ not funny Bella, I'm far too young to be an Aunt. Play nice!" Rosalie said as she jabbed Emmett in the ribs with her elbow.

Everyone laughed at Rose and her comment about being too young to be an Aunt that we barely heard someone knocking on the door, I made my way over before I was literally pushed aside by Alice.

"Edward! You're here," She exclaimed.

"Errr, yeah. Umm I thought it was just me and Bella, not all six of us," He replied looking confused.

"It is silly," Alice said as she ushered him in. "We just wanted to see you guys off,"

Alice force Edward and I together for a few more pictures, gushing over how we looked so cute together.

"What's this all about?" He whispered in my ear.

"I have no idea I only found out 5 minutes before everyone showed up," I whispered back.

We stood there trying our best to smile at the flashing camera.

"Ally, baby. Come on they probably want to get going," Jasper said coming to our rescue.

Alice gave in to him and hugged Edward and I good bye. I mouthed a quick thank you to Jasper who nodded in response.

"Bella! Legs in the air if you're trying for a boy!" Emmett boomed as we headed out the door.

**A/N – Okay, I know, I know I am late again! I am SO sorry!**

**Soooo what do you think?**

**Bella's finally picked a major! Laurens arrived... She's here for a reason... you'll find out in the next couple of chapters : ) B & E are finally going on a date! **

**What was your favourite part?**

**Next update soon. I'm back at uni so if it's not in a week it won't be too far off, promise! I only have 2 weeks left for the year and then I am on Summer Holidays, there will be heaps of regular updates then :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- I am so sorry for the delay! **

**Here is Chapter 9**

Edward and I drove in silence for a few minutes, just taking in each other's presence. I took that time to take him in. He was wearing his 'ironed jeans' again a white button down shirt with a black leather jacket over the top, he had one hand on the steering wheel the other lazily resting on gear stick. He looked more comfortable now than I had ever seen him.

"So where exactly are we going?" I asked turning my body to face him. I was an impatient person and didn't like surprises.

"You'll find out in approximately 2 minutes," He replied, focusing his attention the road before making a left turn into a Mini Golf car park.

I looked at him, unsure what was going on. Was this our destination?

"Come on," He said encouragingly, getting out of the car. "This is part one of our date."

We played the whole 18 holes, it turns out I am not skilled in the art of mini golf. This was made apparent when I went to sink my ball and it ricocheted of the clowns head. Edward on the other hand was a pro, skilfully getting hole-in-ones more than once. As we played we played 20 questions to get to know each other a little better, and to make it seem like a real first date.

"Least favourite place in the world?" Edward asked at the windmill hole.

"Disneyland," I replied.

"What? That's ridiculous! Disneyland is meant to be the happiest place in the world,"

"So? What's your point? Disneyland is so fake; it's basically my whole life in technicolour. Fake!"

I learnt that Edward was afraid of spiders, and that Rose was always the one to kill them in The Cullen household, he wanted to be a musician when he was younger, and he loved listening to country music.

Edward found out that I hate exercise and I only do it when I am procrastinating, my favourite ice cream is cake batter with cookie dough mixed in, and my guilty pleasure is getting spa pedicures – although I'd never tell Alice and Rosalie because that's my time.

"You'll never guess what B," Edward practically shouted at me at the 12th hole. I looked at him waiting for his answer. "I've taken your lead and chosen a major,"

I couldn't contain my excited; I jumped up and down, yelping with joy before running to hug him. Needless to say my disruption made him miss the hole, and drawing attention from our fellow golfers. "Congratulations! How did you decide? What did your parents say? What did you finally choose?" I peppered him with questions.

"I'm going to study medicine, be a doctor. I don't know what field yet though. My mom was ecstatic, I swear I thought she was going to jump through the phone, dad is really proud as well," He beamed.

We spent the rest of mini golf talking about our futures and our new found dreams.

After mini golf Edward took us to small diner in the heart of the city. It looked shabby on the outside, inside it was cosy, warm and very inviting, there were vintage neon signs advertising milkshakes and burgers. We slid into a booth at the far end of the diner.

"Okay, I know this isn't ale carte by any stretch of the imagination, but the hamburgers here are to die for," He told me, ordering both of us a hamburger and a black and white milkshake to share.

"What only one? That's not fair, you have a bigger mouth, you'll get more shake than me," I laughed when the milkshake arrived; I grabbed another straw so we were on an even playing field.

"Now that's not fair," Edward laughed back before grabbing a handful of straws.

"You're impossible Edward," I smiled looking up at him.

Our burgers arrived not long after our milkshake fight, and Edward was right it was the best burger I have ever eaten. Mustard to ketchup ratio was perfect, and there were no pickles – which was a plus for me.

"Tell me about your old life B," Edward asked taking a bite of his burger.

_WOW!_ We had never talked about my old life before. I look a deep breath before starting.

"Umm well, my daddy is a well respected judge in LA, he was actually the one who sentenced Lohan to prison time. He is the smartest person I know, and despite his hard exterior, inside he is a soft fluffy marshmallow. My mother on the other hand is the world's biggest tanorexic socialite. She's the reason I was a Cheerleader and a Deb, she practically forced me into my first pair of Manolos at the age of 6. I've been to more parties in my 18 years than most people have in their whole life," I told him picking at my fries.

"B, that's your parents. What about you?"

I hadn't realised until that moment that whenever someone asked me about myself I always talked about my parents, because up until now I was always what they wanted me to be.

"Me, well I didn't really exist back then. I shopped and partied and cheered. I dated one of the guys on the football team, and I guess from the outside looking in my life was perfect. On the inside though there were cracks. My boyfriend, Jake, and I were constantly fighting and breaking up, we were both privileged and I guess you could say Jake was used to getting what he wanted. Well that was until he met me anyway, one day we were having yet another one of our fights and things ended up turning physical. I told my parents that I fell during Cheer Practise, I was lucky that I was able to cover up the worst of my bruises. Needless to say we broke up once and for all, after that I swore to myself I wouldn't be dragged back into that life. Jake ended up dating my best friend Angela and I managed to convince my parents to come here to U-Dub to start over,"

I finished my story as I finished of the milkshake. Edward just looked at me with half of his hamburger hanging from his mouth.

"Bella, why haven't you mentioned anything before now?" He asked.

"There was just never a right time; I mean we've had the whole 'Alice thing' to deal with and then Thanksgiving. I dunno my problems seem pretty irrelevant,"

"Bella," Edward said again sounding concerned.

"Look, Edward let's just drop it. I mean we are on a date," I begged, faking a smile.

Thankfully he took my cue; we finished our dinner in silence. Every now and then Edward would shoot me a concerned look, but I just brushed it off. I really hoped that my story hadn't put a damper on things. After finishing, possibly the greatest hamburger ever Edward drove us to our next destination.

"Edward, can you please tell me where we are going?" I whined for the second time tonight.

"No Bella, stop being _so_ impatient!" Edward laughed.

I looked out the window as we pulled into the parking lot to the dorm, I was suddenly really worried. Was our date over already? Had I scared Edward off?

"Stop stressing B, we have one more stop before the night is over. Come with me," Edward said, taking my hand and leading me inside.

Instead of heading upstairs towards to our rooms, we went straight to the fire exit.

"Edward, we can't be here," I whispered.

"We can if no one finds out," He whispered back. "Now come on,"

We ran up the stairs, all the way to the top. It the most exercise I had done in years and I was ready to pass out as we came to the very last door. Edward pushed the door to the roof, it was magical there were fairy lights strung around, an old couch and an esky. I was speechless; it was quite possibly the most romantic thing that I had ever seen.

"Dessert?" Edward asked. "We have cake batter and cookie dough ice cream," He smiled.

"Edward you only found out about that an hour ago,"

"I text Rose and she got everything ready for me," He told me, pulling out the ice cream and two spoons.

I couldn't resist, it was my favourite after all.

"Edward, thank you," I smiled with a mouthful of ice cream. "Tonight has been amazing! Thankyou,"

Edward leaned over to me smiling the biggest smile I had ever seen. "You're welcome B," He said wiping ice cream of my chin before kissing me softly. I gave into him, throwing my arms around his neck crushing my lips into his. I couldn't resist him, he was everything I had been waiting for.

"B, the ice cream," Edward murmured.

"We can always get more, but I'm not wasting another moment without you," I replied.

He was studying my face, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "And you won't have to. Ever again," he said before kissing me again.

It was a little after midnight when we finally pulled ourselves apart; I laid in his arms on the couch listening to his breathing. I didn't want this moment to end but I knew we couldn't stay in this little bubble forever.

"I should probably walk you to your room before Alice starts to get worried," Edward said breaking the silence.

Sighing I agreed, standing up to face Edward.

"I'm not kissing you again tonight. Because if I do, I won't be able to stop," He told me, taking my hand leading me back towards the stairs.

-x-x-x-

"Bella! Wake up!" I woke to Alice jumping on my bed staring at me intensely.

"What?" I mumbled before rolling onto my back.

"She wants to know how your date went," I heard Rose say from the floor. "Can you please fill us in so _I _can go back to bed,"

"Excuse me, you didn't complain when I woke you up. If anything you were even more excited than I was," Alice argued.

"That was before you started thinking out loud as to whether or not they had sex, Alice! I reserve the right to not be present during those conversations; Edward is my brother after all!" Rose snapped back.

"Alice!" I practically yelled, as I shot out of bed. "How dare you think I am some 'floozy' do I really come across as someone who would have sex on the first date?"

"Well, you didn't come home until almost 1:00am so, I just drew my own conclusions," She told me passing me my tooth brush.

I brushed my teeth in silence, listening to Alice and Rose bicker about my non-existent sex life.

"Soooo, tell us," Alice said turning towards me as I emerged from the bathroom.

"It was nice," I replied sitting back down on my bed.

"Nice? Nice, is that all your going to give me? I don't even know where you went or what you did!"

"Argh! Fine, it was more than nice. We went mini golfing, he took me to this diner, and oh my god! They have the best hamburgers ever. I mean the bun was perfectly toasted, the meat wasn't too oily, but wasn't too dry," I was suddenly craving a hamburger again.

"Bella! Enough about the hamburger! Get back on track, the date remember," Alice said cutting me off.

"Oh right, then we came back here and went up to the roof where there were fairy lights draped everywhere. He even had my favourite ice cream waiting – thanks for that by the way Rose,"

Rosalie nodded in response; I could tell she was pleased by her handy work.

"What? Rose you knew what was happening and you didn't tell me?" Alice hissed.

"You would have spilled the beans to Bella, so don't get your panties in a knot,

"Don't say the word panties, Rose. I hate it," I said changing the topic.

"Panties? Really Bella? There are so many other words out there that you could hate, and you hate the word panties?" Rose jeered.

"Yes! Now please stop!"

"Panties," Rose laughed.

"Panties?" Alice replied.

"Panties,"

"Panties,

"Argh! Don't you two have places to be? People to see?" I said trying to get them to shut up.

"Nope. Panties," Alice replied.

"Emmett and Jasper are interrogating Edward. Panties," Rose added.

I gave up, storming off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me for emphasis. I could hear them laughing hysterically behind the door.

After a long shower I emerged to find Alice alone in our room listening to her iPod, she was singing 'Pumped up kicks' by Foster the People out loud. I laughed at her as she sang the words to the chorus completely wrong.

Grabbing my vans I waved Alice a goodbye, heading towards the dining hall for breakfast. I sat at our usual table slowly eating my yoghurt and muesli, picking out the fruit as I went. I was just about finished when Jasper sat down in front of me.

"Hey Bella," He said taking my plate of rejected fruit.

"Hi Jazz, did Alice send you here to do some more scouting?" I accused.

I knew I shouldn't have said anything as soon as those words escaped my lips.

"No, actually I came here on my own terms, and it wasn't to talk to you about your date. But I can see why you're hesitant," He laughed at me.

"She's just so relentless. I wouldn't put it past her to get you to seek out information. I mean what happened to that girl we first met at orientation?" I asked.

"She's still that girl Bella; she just does a better job at hiding it. We all have skeletons in our closets and as the six of us forge our friendship we start to see ways we can hide the things we don't like about ourselves from everyone else. Sometimes we can almost fool ourselves into actually believing it," He explained to me as he picked at the fruit.

I had never really thought of it that way. I mean sure I had started to see a difference in Alice, she was more preppy than the shy girl I met at the start of the year, but I thought that was just because she was coming out of her shell.

"Jasper, how do you know she's hiding?"

"I've just taken notice that's all. Ever since the 'James incident' she's become more withdrawn from her own life, and more involved in everyone else's. That's why she was so excited about your date with Edward, hell she's even been harassing Rosalie about her relationship with Emmett," He sighed. "But mostly, she's been pulling away from me emotionally; all we ever talk about are superficial things. Bella, I miss Alice. The Alice who was too shy to talk to me, who loved history, and design, the Alice who wore worn jeans and t-shirts with her big dorky glasses, that was the Alice I loved,"

I looked at Jasper properly for the first time ever; he looked tired, scared, and helpless. For the past few months I had been looking at everything through rose coloured glasses. If Alice was hiding things, who's to say Rose wasn't either, or even Edward.

"I'm sorry Jasper. Really I am. I'm her roommate I should have noticed these things as well, you shouldn't have to deal with it all on your own. What can I do to help?" I asked, reaching out to pat his hand in reassurance.

"I really don't know Bella. I'm hoping this is just a phase and she'll eventually just crack, and when she does we have to be there to pick her back up again,"

"We'll be there, we'll tackle it together," I assured him. Jasper gave me a small smile in response.

The rest of the day I spent studying in the library, I had turned my phone of so I could get some work done, by 4:00pm when I turned it back on I was greeted with six new text messages.

So Bella! Tell me more about your date! I want deets! Alice xx

Bella, hurry up and reply! What base did Edward get to? Alice xx

_Afternoon Swan, we still on for coffee tomorrow? I had a great date last night and I wanted to share it with you. Edward _

ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! Are you ignoring me? When's your next date? Alice xx

_**Bella, can you please reply to Alice, she's getting on my last nerve bouncing around my room. I swear she's about to piddle. Rose**_

Fine! As of this very second we are no longer friends. All I wanted was a little dirt. Alice xx

Sighing I replied to Edward confirming our Coffee date tomorrow, before quickly calling Rosalie. The phone barely rang once before she answered sounding very frazzled.

"BELLA! Please tell me you have a valid excuse as to why you haven't answered your phone!" She shouted down the phone.

"Errr, I was studying in the library, is Alice still there?" I asked.

"Yes! She won't leave me alone,"

"Okay, good. Well I'll be over soon," I told her.

"You better be!"

I hung up and made my way back towards the dorm, preparing myself for the discussion I was about to have.

As I made my way through Rose's bedroom door I was practically bowled over by Alice.

"What are you doing here? In case you didn't get the message we are no longer friends!" She screeched.

"Sure Alice, how long is that going to last? I came here to talk about my date," I knew that would get her.

The three of us settled down on Rose's bed, talking about my date with Edward. Truthfully it wasn't as painful as I had initially thought, admittedly Alice kept interrupting and Rose would yell 'Too Much Information' when I started talking about the roof. All in all I was quite proud of my friends, letting me escape unscathed.

"I'm hungry," Alice whined at the end of my story. "Let's get Chinese and watch 90210!"

"Ohh, that sounds good, but I can't. I'm hanging out with Lauren tonight," I replied, sounding a little jealous of their plans.

I received two very death-like glares at the mention of my plans for the night.

"Bella, did we not already have this conversation. Lauren equals bad news," Rose said sternly.

"Rose, please let me make my own decisions. Besides there is nothing wrong with her," I told her as I stood up making my way over to the door.

"Fine, but I really don't want to have to say I told you so," She shouted as I walked out the door.

-x-x-x-

When I returned to my room, I had the world's fastest shower and changed into my grey skinny jeans red and black plaid shirt. I didn't really want to do much with my hair, instead I opted to run my fingers through it quickly before putting on a grey hat. I was just swiping on some mascara when there was a knock at the door.

I opened the door quickly while sliding on my converses. "Hey,"

Lauren was standing there waiting. "Hi, you ready?" She asked.

"Yep," I replied popping the p.

We made our way down stairs and out to Laurens car, chatting casually about our day.

"So there's this party on the other side of town. Did you want to head over and check it out?" She asked.

"Ahh, sure. I'm cool with that," I said as I climbed into the passenger's seat.

I was actually quiet hesitant about going to party where I didn't know anyone but this was college after all, and it was a good way of meeting new people.

It took 20 minutes to get there, we sang along to Paramore the whole way, bonding over our love for the band.

The house the party was being held at was in an area that screamed Gang, the house itself looked okay from the outside, with the exception of the bars on all the windows. We pulled up out the front, the hip hop music that was being played inside hit us as soon as we stepped out of the car. I looked at Lauren trying to hide my 'scared shitless' feeling, she just smiled in response leading us inside.

There were a few people inside, couple making out on the stained sofas, five or six people dancing along to the music and everyone else talking while drinking mysterious substances from red plastic cups. Lauren led us into what I assumed was meant to be the dining room, where there were five guys and three girls playing some drinking game that included stripping – or at least that's what it looked like because each of the girls were half naked.

"Bella, this is everyone," Lauren shouted. "Everyone, this is Bella,"

I waved timidly at 'everyone', Lauren handed me a red plastic cup. Eyeing it carefully I wasn't quite sure whether or not to drink from it. The liquid inside was dark and smelled strongly of alcohol.

"It's okay. It's just vodka and coke," She reassured me.

Taking a sip the drink hit the back of my throat burning all the way down. My guess was that it was more vodka than coke. I suppressed a cough by taking another, smaller, sip.

Lauren seemed really comfortable with everyone at the party. She laughed and drank along with them, trying to include me at every opportunity. I was only my third cup of vodka and coke and was feeling more than a little buzzed, I had relaxed into my surroundings halfway through my second cup and was now debating 'Who would win in a fight Chewbacca or the Million Dollar Man?' with a blonde haired guy. Mark? Mick? Mike? I didn't really care.

"The Million Dollar Man!" Mark argued.

"Not even, Chewy would win all the way," I protested pumping my fist for emphasis, which resulted in pouring half of my drink on Mick.

Suddenly Lauren showed up at my side again. I looked at her, her eyes looked glazed over, or maybe that was just what I saw because of the alcohol.

"Come on Bella, party favours!" She smiled, taking hold of my hand taking me over to the dining room table.

Shit!

It was like it had snowed inside, there was white powder all over the table, everyone taking turns to get their hit. Jessica, a girl Lauren had introduced to me earlier, had just finished straightening herself up wiping her nose. She turned to me holding out a rolled up dollar bill.

"Here," She mumbled.

I looked at Lauren, petrified. All I got in response was an encouraging nod.

Swallowing my fear I walked forwards, leaning over the table.

**A/N – Okay I am sorry for the delay, but I did warn you all that I might be late! It's the end of the year and I have exams and final assignments to complete! I assure you once my sumer holidays come updates will be more than regular! :)**

**Okay, home truths about this chapter.**

**Like Bella, I love Cake Batter and Cookie dough Ice cream, I don't exercise unless I am avoiding something, I love spa pedicures – I even fell asleep while having one once. And like Edward I secretly like Country Music! :)**

**I have always wanted a roof with a sofa on top, just so I can sit up there and just Be.**

**I wear hats to cover up my 'bad hair days' and am a big Paramore fan (You either love them or you hate them. Simple)**

**Now just a small note about the ending of this chapter... I am all for 'hugs not drugs' 'Drug free is the way to be' 'Pop tops not pills' and whatever other saying you can come up woth however I do not shun those who do do them, or have done them. Although I think I do have a slight alcohol problem (But what 20 year old doesn't?). **

**Let's hear some of your crazy alcohol or drug induced stories... I have a feeling Bella's story might have a doozy in the next chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- Long Authors Note at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are , I'm just playing around with them. **

I was being blinded, my head was pounding, and my throat was burning.

What had happened?

Sitting up, I looked around.

Where was I?

I was lying in an old bed that smelled strongly of stale alcohol and vomit, the window was closed but there were no curtains. Jessica was asleep next to me half naked. I swung my legs around to the side of the bed.

Where were my pants?

Rubbing my temples I looked around the room for my phone, locating it on the floor at the foot of the bed. Great, the battery was dead so there was no way of telling the time. My jeans were in a heap next to them. I quickly put them on before making my way into the main part of the house; Lauren was sitting on the stained sofa watching MTV reality shows.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," She smiled, looking very hung over. I shuddered to think of what I looked like.

"Morning," I mumbled flopping down on the couch, having a pounding headache only made my morning moods even worse. "Hey, do you know the time?" I asked.

"Ahh, yeah almost 11.00am. Why?" She replied not taking her eyes off the TV.

"Shit! Fuck, we need to go. I kind of had plans this morning," I jumped up too quickly, making my head spin in turn making me want to vomit.

Lauren looked up at me, before slowly getting up and making her way into the dining room.

"I just need a hit for the road," She slurred.

I followed her to make sure she didn't get side tracked. The dining room table was no longer covered in lines of cocaine, instead just the remains of last night's part favours. Laurens blonde hair fell down beside her face as she bent over a small mirror, I could hear her snot the white powder up her nose before throwing her hair back with a smile on her face.

"Here," She said, passing me the rolled up dollar bill.

I couldn't do this; I wasn't that kind of girl was I? What had I done last night? How much had I done?

I shook my head in response, words just wouldn't form.

"Okay," She replied simply before taking a step closer and sliding her hand in my pocket. "But take some for later, just in case you know," She said with a wink. There sitting in the pocket of my jeans was a small zip lock bag full of coke.

We made our way back to campus; I was driving so it took longer because I had no idea where I was going. Lauren was flopped lazily in the passenger's seat, her head leaning against the window. I really hoped that Edward wasn't too mad, or at the very least he would forgive me.

Throwing the car into park as soon as we arrived back at campus I ran towards the dorm, leaving Lauren to fend for herself. Edward wasn't in the common room when I came bursting through the doors, I took the stairs two at a time trying to get up to my room. No one was there either.

Instead of getting worked up, I plugged my phone on to charge and had a shower. After what felt like an hour, my fingers were well and truly pruney and my headache almost nonexistent I emerged from the steaming bathroom to find Alice sitting on her bed reading.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," She said with venom in her voice.

"Hi Ally," I replied. "Look, I'm sorry I..."

She cut me off "I'm not the one you should be apologising to. No actually you should apologise to me, but first to Edward. What were you thinking Bella?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry,"

"You should have called someone! At the very least text someone, we didn't know where you were, or who you were with! You could have been hurt or worse killed!"

I was starting to zone out, but something pulled me back into reality this was a fight I was actually going to fight for once. I wasn't a child, and Alice certainly wasn't going to treat me like one.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" She spat.

"I said shut up!" I said clearly. "I'm not child Alice, and I can take care of myself! You knew exactly who I was with, whether or not you approve of them is a different story! You can't control me or tell how to live my life; I'm 18 fucking years old!"

"I'm trying to look out for you Bella! You're blinded thinking everyone is so good, and that nothing bad could ever happen to you! You've lived a pristine life and have never been put in any danger, how do you think you can cope in the real world?" She fought back.

After that I saw red, she knew nothing about my life or who I was. "You're right Alice! How could I be so naive? After all you're the only person EVER to have problems, aren't you? But you won't even deal with them. You're the only one living in a sugar coated world right now Alice not me!"

That did it, I had only ever seen hurt like that in Alice's eyes once before and that was when James was here. Tears were welling in her eyes; she was standing still in shock.

"Well, if that's the way you see it," She whispered making her way over to the door, leaving me standing in the middle of our room by myself.

Oh my God! What had just happened? I couldn't believe that I had just told Alice that she needed to deal with her problems, and the worst part was she thought that I didn't have a past. Tears were rolling down my face, I needed to apologise to Alice, explain everything to her. But first I had to talk to Edward.

I made my way downstairs towards Edwards's room, wiping away any proof that I had been crying. I knocked quickly on his door hoping he was there. My heart was pounding, I was so nervous, I didn't know how to explain to Edward that the reason I missed our coffee date because I drank so much the night before that I slept until 11.00am.

"Bella?" Jasper appeared at the door.

"Jasper, is he here?" I breathed.

"No. But what happened with Alice?" He questioned.

Shit, shit, doubled shit!

"Honestly I don't really know," Oh no! Here come the water works again. I kept replaying my fight with Alice over and over in my head.

"Bella, she's a wreck. What did you say?" He continued.

"I don't know Jasper! We were having a heated discussion, things were said. Look I'm sorry but I have to find Edward. I'll talk to Alice soon, I promise,"

Jasper hung his head in defeat. "He's in the library," He sighed.

"Thank you," I whispered turning on my heel.

"Bella, make it right," He called after me.

I ran to the library, trying to clear my head at the same time. It was Sunday so the library was practically deserted, it was still hard to find Edward. He had a knack for hiding when he didn't want to be found. It took me five minutes to locate him; he was on the top floor in a far corner with his laptop. I approached with caution.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Hi Swan, how was your night?" He said in spite.

"Edward... Look I am sorry I missed our coffee date this morning," I whispered.

"Its fine," He replied in a clipped tone.

"No it's not. I am sorry, I should have been there, and especially after the wonderful night we had on Friday. At the very least I should have called to say I was running late, if I could go back and change it all I would," I sighed sitting down next to him.

I was really sorry, I felt like I had royally fucked up something good before it had even begun.

"Its fine, what's done is done. But Swan promise next time you go out your phone will be fully charged?" He replied looking at me for the first time since I found him.

"I promise,"

We sat in the library for another half an hour; Edward was studying while I was trying to get over my hangover. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Edward was waking me up to go back to the dorms. I rubbed my eyes before standing up. We walked slowly back towards the dorms, a knot had formed in my stomach, with every step I took it seemed to tighten. I knew I would have to talk to Alice soon; it wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to because I didn't really feel like I was 100% sorry.

Everything I had said to her I had meant, I guess yelling it at her wasn't necessary and for that I was sincerely apologetic. But she needed to know that she really had to start dealing with her problems.

When I left Edward to go up to my room he hugged my tightly before telling me to get some more rest. Something I fully intended to do. As I approached my room I could hear Three Days Grace blaring from the iPod dock. I slipped in quietly only to find Alice feverishly cleaning the room. I turned the music down alerting Alice of my presence.

"Ally, we need to talk," I said cautiously.

"You've said enough Bella," She snapped back.

"You're right I have, but you really need to hear me out, and then you can do what you like," I looked at her pleading.

"Fine," She huffed crossing her arms, but staying rooted on the spot.

I sat down on top of my desk.

"Alice, I'm worried about you. I don't think you have dealt with everything that has happened and I am sorry about that, but you know I am here if you ever need me. You have been focusing so much on my life, and Rose's life that you won't... no can't heal. I love you like the sister I never had Alice, and I am begging you, if not for you then for me and Jasper, and Edward, Rose and Emmett, heal! Because it hurts us all to see you hurting, even if you can't see if yourself," Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I looked up and Alice was also fighting off tears herself.

"I'm sorry," She eventually whispered. "I just don't know how to. I am so worried that any day now I am going to be punished for what I did. Abortion is everything my family, and my religion is against! I guess by trying so hard to make everyone else happy I could escape my own life. That by default I too would be happy. Does that make sense?"

I nodded in response, wiping my face dry.

"What do I do Bella?"

"I don't know. But I guess to start with you might need to talk to a professional, someone to help you?"

An hour went by, Alice and I discussed looking for a counsellor for her to talk to. After many more tears were shed I thought we were finally okay. That was until Alice brought up the topic of 'last night'.

"Bella, just so you know. I wasn't entirely mad at you, I mean I was but I guess I was just worried that Lauren had led you astray," She told me.

I felt guilt then, because both Alice and Rose were right. Lauren was a different breed of crazy. If it weren't for her I would never have gotten completely blotto last night, done that line of coke, or even woken up with no memory. I also knew that I couldn't dump the events of last night on Alice now, instead I bailed.

"It's okay Alice, I just forgot that all. I promise I was okay,"

Liar liar pants on fire! My conscience was screaming at me.

"Look Al, I um promised Edward that I'd catch up for dinner," I said trying to find an escape, while also ignoring the words Liar replaying constantly in my head.

"No that's okay. I need to do a paper for history any way; I'll see you later then?" She said offering me a small smile.

Taking a deep breath I left Alice alone in our room. Making sure the door was completely closed before making my way across the hall to Rosalie's room. Knocking quickly, while shifting on my feet I hoped she was in.

Her door flew open. "Hey Bella," She smiled.

"Rose, I need to tell you something."

**A/N- Okay, okay! I know it has been weeks since my last update, and for that I am truly sorry! However, I have some good news! As of Yesterday I am officially on Summer Holidays! So, If I am not too snowed under with work I should have more than regular updates!**

**Secondly, I know that this update wasn't too long, but it did have a little drama, next update will be super long! I am going to be working on it all day tomorrow! **

**Making headway on this fic is part of my 'Summer Holiday' list, as well as many other things, so please hang in there with me! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- I **_**did**_** promise to get this update out quickly.**

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are ; I'm just playing around with them.**

"Rose, I need to tell you something." I said as my voice quivered.

Rosalie's face dropped. I needed to talk to someone, and Rose was the only one I knew I could trust.

"Bella what's wrong?" She asked hesitantly.

I walked into her room clutching my waist, it felt like I was about to explode from the inside out. My heart was pounding, and my breathing quickened. I sat down on Roses bed leaning against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest.

"Bella?" Rose asked again.

"I did something last night," I took in a deep breath, trying to find the words. "Lauren and I were at a party and I drank a lot,"

Rose cut me off at that point. "I knew Lauren was a bad influence, you're not a big drinker. What did she pour drinks down your throat? What a soak! I bet she is always drunk. She definitely looks it," She ranted sitting down next to me hugging me into her side.

Now I am not one for hugs, in fact I really don't like human contact much at all – I guess you could trace my problem back to the fact that the only human contact I really got while growing up was my parents throwing a credit card my way when they forgot about my birthday. But this hug seemed to comfort me it made me feel like maybe I hadn't completely fucked up.

"No, Rose. It wasn't the alcohol, besides that was all me. No what I did was _so_ much worse that getting smashed," I sniffed. Suddenly it felt like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth, like my throat was closing over and like my brain had completely forgotten how to form words.

"Bella, what happened?" Rose whispered sounding even more concerned than before.

"I... I did... coke,"

Silence filled the room, it was one of those silences where you could possibly hear a pin drop, and it was laced with regret on my part, and what I was sure was judgement on Rosalie's part.

"Bella, tell me you're joking," She said shaking her head. "Tell me that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out of the closet yelling 'You got PUNK'D!'"

Tears fell silently down my face. "I'm sorry," I whispered so low that I doubted Rose could even hear me. I was wrong.

"Bella! You have nothing to be sorry about! It was a mistake; the person that should be sorry is Lauren! She's the one who put you in that situation to begin with," She said rubbing my back to calm me down. "Bella, everyone makes mistakes. Drugs – they're something most college students experiment with; it's going to be okay. I promise," Rosalie's reassurance felt good, but it still didn't get rid of my guilt.

"Rose, that's not all," I coughed.

"Bella, it can't be that bad,"

"Alice and I had a huge fight this morning. I missed my coffee date with Edward. I think I've fixed things now, but all day I've just had this itch to do it again," I told her looking down at my lap; I was too scared to look her in the eye.

"Why?" was all she asked.

"To feel numb. I dunno, I guess I thought that if I did again I could forget the horrible things I said to Alice, forget the look of let down in Edwards eyes," I confessed.

"Bella, you don't need to do coke to feel better," She told me, forcing me to look her in the eye. "Promise me that whenever you feel that way again you'll come to me! I'll help you. Bella, we're friends, you can count on me for anything," She looked at me seriously, "Promise me Bella,"

I nod in response; I had forgotten my words again.

-x-x-x-

Two weeks had passed, things between Alice and I weren't tense, but it wasn't completely back to normal. We were walking on egg shells around each other. Alice had started seeing the campus counsellor and was certainly making progress in her 'healing'. As promised Alice and I had taken up yoga twice a week, which was also a great way of releasing all of my 'bad energy'. Rosalie was being a real mother hen around me, constantly making sure I was okay, and as she had promised she hadn't told anyone about me doing cocaine. She had treated me to a spa pedicure a week ago to see how I was and also to get me away from Alice – She knew things still weren't right between us. Edward and I fell back into our regular coffee dates; he had also taken me on a date to the movies and a nice dinner.

Everything seemed to be going okay, I had run into Lauren, it seemed like Rose had said something to her because she completely avoided me when I went to say hello. I had only made one bad decision in the past two weeks; I kept the bag of coke Lauren had given me 'for the road'. It was currently taped to the inside of one of my Chanel pumps in the 'Old Bella' closet.

I was walking back to my room on Tuesday night after a late class when my phone rang, notifying me that my mother was calling. Usually I ignored phone calls from my mom because she was always telling me about a new gym she had join or a new store that had opened. For some reason today though I felt the need to answer.

"Mom?" I asked hesitantly.

"Isabella, how are you?" She asked sounding distant – well more distant than usual.

"Fine, just finished class for the day. What's up? Don't you have yogalaties on Tuesday nights or something?" I questioned.

"Well, Isabella, you're father and I are getting a divorce," She said sounding cold.

"What? Why? When? How?"

"Isabella, enough with the dramatics. We are separating; I have found a new lover. Besides your father and I haven't lived together since Christmas any way,"

"Mom, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Really, are you that silly Isabella? You must know we were only staying together because of you. And really there is no point now; you're half way across the country. Truthfully I don't think I ever really loved your father, I mean we only got married because I was pregnant. What an American cliché,"

I was shocked. I had no idea what to say, so instead I hung up.

Any person would react similar to the way I did. After all, my mother had practically blamed me for her ruined marriage, she had told me more or less she never wanted me. I ran back to my room, luckily for me Alice was out with Jasper. I threw my bag on the floor before running straight to 'Old Bella' closet, ripping through the clothes and shoes to find my Chanel pumps. I wrenched the small zip lock bag out from inside the left shoe and made my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I had barely noticed until I was standing in front of the mirror that I had been crying. I was such a cliché, there was mascara running down my face and my cheeks were red and blotchy. Emptying the contents of the zip lock bag onto Alice's magnifying mirror, my hands were shaking as I steadied myself against the vanity. I pulled my emergency credit card out of my wallet along with twenty dollars. As far as I was concerned it was definitely an emergency. I cut the white powder into two neat lines, after rolling up the $20 bill I leant over the mirror, trying not to look at my reflection I took in the cocaine.

It took five minutes for the hit to finally relieve my emotional pain. Sitting down on the cold tiles I wrapped my arms around my waist and started to evaluate my life. Was my whole life really just a lie? A picture perfect lie? Something my parents had faked for appearances, and I had been all too willing to play along thinking I was happy. Oh how wrong I was.

I heard a loud bang, indicating Alice was back.

"Bella?" She called, confirming my suspicion.

"Yeah, I'm just about to have a shower," I lied in response.

I sighed before standing up again, making my way over to the shower before turning it on. I let the hot water run and fill the bathroom with steam, my hands were shaking slightly as I slowly swept the last line of coke back into the zip lock bag as carefully as possible. I hid the bag in my travel cosmetic bag, before getting into the shower.

The water ran down my back burning my skin in the process, all I wanted to do was scream. Scream for my life in the hope that someone would hear me and be able to help me. By the time I climbed out of the shower the bathroom was filled with so much steam I could barely breathe. I dried myself and got dressed slowly, before making my way out of the bathroom.

"Hi Bella," Alice sang, as she drew in her sketch pad. She seemed happy today.

"Hi Al," I replied my voice cracking as I did.

Alice looked up at me concern replacing the happy look she had thirty seconds previous. "Is everything okay?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to head out for some dinner," I said making my way to the door.

My walk to the dining hall was slow, sitting at the table by myself I picked at my food, every now and then taking a bite. Ten minutes after I arrived Rosalie and Emmett showed up sitting down at the table with me. They said hello, and chatted non-stop. It was all a blur to me though their words formed one big mumble, before long Emmett started using his big emphatic hand gestures, something that I found quite hilarious when you weren't listening to the actual words he was saying.

"What the hell Izzy?" Emmett boomed, snapping me back into reality.

"Huh?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You were laughing while Emmett was explaining how U-Dub was going to beat USC next year," Rosalie interjected popping a carrot stick into her mouth.

I started laughing again; we all knew not to laugh at Emmett when he was talking football.

"Are you high? This is a serious matter," Emmett hissed.

That shut me up. It also earned me a quick look from Rose. Oh shit! She knew something was up.

"Whatever Emmett. You continue talking Rosalie's ear off about a game no one cares about I am going to find something better to do. Maybe stand in traffic?" I said jumping up from my seat leaving my food tray behind.

As promised to Emmett I did end up finding something better to do, I managed to climb to the roof with several stolen pudding cups from the dining hall.

-x-x-x-

"Isabella Swan! Explain yourself!" Rosalie screeched, throwing the door to the roof open.

"Fuck Rose? What's your problem?" I mumbled.

She had woke me up while I had fallen asleep on the couch; I was surrounded by three empty pudding cups and was currently sporting a nice headache.

"My problem? Really Bella? I thought we had a promise? You would talk to me when something was up! How did you even get your hands on more coke?" She hissed. Before I could answer she was at it again. "It was Lauren, wasn't it? I am going to rip her limb from limb! I thought you had severed all ties with her Bella!"

"For your information, _mom_, I haven't spoken to Lauren since she went running in the opposite direction three days ago," I threw back at her.

"That still doesn't explain where you got it, and why Bella? Why did you feel the need to do it?" She asked with worry in her eyes.

"My parents, they're getting a divorce," My voice cracking as I said it.

"Bella, a lot of peoples parents get divorced. That's no reason to turn to drugs!" She replied.

"Yeah, but do all those people get personally blamed for the demise of their parent's marriage, Rosalie? Because I did, you should have heard my mother. She basically told me my whole childhood was a lie," I sniffed, tears started rolling down my cheeks as I remembered my conversation with my mother.

"Bella, your mom is a bitch. Plain and simple, I mean she thinks your fat for Christ's sake. She's always pushing you to do things that aren't _you_. So what makes you think she is right about her marriage falling apart? It is far from your fault, but Bella you could have come to me," Rosalie reassured me.

Whipping my nose on my sleeve, I looked up at Rose. "I know, but I just felt so helpless, and it made me feel numb for a while," I explained.

Rosalie comforted me, letting me know everything was going to be okay. Something inside me didn't believe what she was saying, instead that little ball of hope that I once had about everything in my life was slowly starting to fade.

-x-x-x-

Over the next two month my life fell into a bad routine. I would wake up, go to class, have the odd cup of coffee; I'd do a line of coke before lunch and another before dinner. It allowed me to be numb enough to survive daily but also to keep Rose off my case, the only time I was completely sober were the times I spent alone with Edward on Sundays for coffee and the odd date he took me on. Although I felt happy when I was with Edward, it didn't seem right. I felt like smiling, laughing and being happy were just so hard, being numb was always easier.

After a lot of convincing I managed to persuade Lauren to provide me with cocaine, luckily for me because of my parents' divorce they stopped noticing the amount of money I was spending on a day to day basis. I wasn't even keeping track of how much my bad habit cost, all I knew was that while I could still afford it without my parents questioning me I wasn't going to stop, especially while I felt so desperate.

Finals had come and gone a week ago, everyone was getting ready to go home for the summer, something I wasn't completely over joyed about. I would be staying with my mother, something I was sure I needed a crutch to survive. It was the Wednesday before end of semester, while Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Jasper would all be going back to Port Angeles – and Forks for Alice – I was going back to LA, I felt alone again, lonelier than ever before.

I was walking through the quad to the Law library, ironically where Lauren and I made our exchanges. I needed to buy enough coke to get me through the summer.

"Lauren," I greeted in my monotone drug induced voice.

"Bella," She reciprocated. "Have you got the money?"

"Have I ever forgotten? Do you have enough?" I asked making sure she wasn't going to rob me blind.

Lauren reached into her messenger bag pulling out a large brown paper bag; I mirrored her actions, pulling out an envelope full of cash handing it over to her. I opened the paper bag to make sure Lauren hadn't ripped me off while she counted the money.

I nodded in thanks before turning away back towards the dorms.

"Bella?" a velvety voice called.

My heart dropped, I knew that voice. It was the voice that soothed me when nothing else could. I look in a deep breath before looking to my left.

"Edward, hi," I stumbled.

He looked shocked, like someone had slapped him in the face for no particular reason.

"Please tell me you weren't just doing what I thought you were doing?" He asked, pleadingly.

"Edward, I can explain," I started.

"Save it Bella. As much as I don't want to believe it, it would make a lot of sense given your behaviour over the past eight weeks," He spat.

I had seen Edward upset, I had seen him worried, I had even seen him angry, but the look of disappointment that was spread across his face was something I couldn't endure.

"I mean seriously Bella, everyone has noticed but we all turned a blind eye hoping it was just because of your parents' divorce. But I guess now it's because you've been high this whole time,"

"Edward, listen..." I tried to interrupt.

"No! I won't listen; I thought you were different Bella. I thought that we worked, clearly I was wrong. When was the last time you were even sober?" He asked, his eyes darkened.

"Sunday," I said simply.

"Bull shit Bella. Don't fuck with me,"

"It's true; I'd never lie to you Edward,"

"Ha! That's fucking rich; you've practically lied to me for months!" He laughed in my face.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I whispered.

"No you're not. You know what Bella, I'm done. I'm not going to be part of another volatile relationship,"

"Edward, please," I pleaded, tears stinging my cheeks.

We stood there for what felt like an eternity, I was clutching at his shirt hoping he would see the truth in my eyes. I would do anything for him. Eventually he pulled my hands away and straightened up.

"Goodbye Swan," He said simply before turning away.

Goodbye, that's what did it. That's what made me crack. I was shaking from head to toe. I don't know how long it took me to get back to my room, but before I knew it I was in my bathroom, practically the half contents on my purchase from Lauren was laying on Alice's magnifying mirror. I didn't even think about what I was doing, my head was pounding; I just wanted the pain to stop. I cut 4 lines and took them in quickly, whipping my nose afterwards.

5 minutes was all it took for my hit to finally 'hit' me, but it wasn't enough. I took in two more lines, sinking to the ground afterwards; the cool of the tiles was the only think I felt. I sobbed for everything I had lost, my family, my parents, my life, Edward, above all Edward. How had I let Edward slip away?

"ARGHHHHH!" I screamed, angry at myself throwing my fist at the wall. The physical pain stinging my hand, I looked at my hand noticing blood. I reached up to the basin, trying to stand up to wash my hand, my footing faltered. The last thing I remembered was my head hitting the tiles as I fell to the ground.

**A/N- Okay, okay, I know I finished with a cliffy. **

**This chapter was chock full of drama! Things are going to change soon! I promise!**

**Let me know what you think! Reviews are such an incentive for me to write quickly!**


	12. Chapter 12

**APOV**

Almost three months had passed since Bella and I had our fight, I was now seeing the campus counsellor and working my way through my problems. Today was my last session before summer holidays, Dr Carmen suggested I write a letter to everyone my 'problem' had effected. She also suggested I talk to my parents when I get home, just to clear the air. We had made progress over the past 10 weeks, I no longer blamed myself, I tried not to let the thought of James effect me, and with the help of Yoga I was slowly becoming 'one with myself'.

I made my way back to my room after my appointment, I still had some packing to do before I went home on Friday and I wouldn't have any time tomorrow night as the six of us were having an 'End of Year' dinner. For the first time in months I was content with my life. Jasper and I were in a good place; he was more supportive than ever and loved me despite my many flaws. I was determined to let him know in my letter how much I appreciated his help.

Pushing open the door to my room I noticed Bella's bag lying on the floor, which was quiet unusual. Despite the way she had been acting over the past two months she was never messy. Ever since her parents announced their divorce she was a wreck. She was just a shell, I couldn't remember the last time I saw her smile or laugh, and she was constantly making snide comments and always look tired. To say I was worried about her was an understatement.

"Hey Bella," I called as I made my way over to my desk hanging up my bag and plugged in my cell phone to charge.

There was no answer. That was odd, Bella always said hello at the very least. It didn't sound like the shower was on; I looked around to see if she was here. The bathroom door was wide open, that's when I saw her, lying on the bathroom floor unconscious. I had never seen someone dead, but I was fairly sure that's what someone would look like. Her skin was pale and waxy, her lips almost purple, dark circles framed her eyes, and small amounts of blood stained her shirt and the floor around her right hand. Every breath of air I had in my lungs was knocked out the moment I saw her.

"Bella!" I cried, running towards her falling to the ground to check her pulse, I could still feel the faint pounding of her heart beat. I didn't have much time, I was sure of it.

Running out of my room I made a bee line to Rosalie's room, without even knocking I walked right in.

"Rose, I need you. Please. It's Bella," I sobbed, Bella needed us. Despite the way she had been acting lately I still regarded her as my friend and wanted her to be okay.

"Alice? What's wrong with Bella?" Rose asked, looking up from the book she was reading.

"I don't know, please help," I breathed, leading her to my room.

Rosalie's reaction to Bella was twice as bad as mine. She broke down. I looked around the bathroom for the first time to see if there was some clue as to why Bella was unconscious, it was then I saw it, a fine white powder lying on my magnifying mirror and a rolled up twenty not far from Bella's hand.

"Rose, what's this?" I asked, hoping she could confirm my fear.

Rosalie looked up tears stained her face, she picked up the twenty and looked at the mirror before gasping.

"Cocaine," She whispered.

"What?" I couldn't believe it.

"Coke, she swore she wouldn't do it again," Rose said in disbelief.

"Again? Shit Rose, what do we do?" I asked frightened.

Before she could answer I saw Rosalie on the phone, tears still welling in her eyes.

"Dad? I think Bella's OD'd," She breathed into the phone. "Okay. Ah huh. See you soon," She said answering the questions Carlisle was asking. She hung up, turning towards me with a serious look on her face.

"Alice, my dad is coming, he'll stabilise Bella before taking her back to Port Angeles. He was in Seattle for a meeting," She said.

"Rose, I'm not leaving her," I told her.

"We won't have to, look my dad is a doctor he'll be here in five. I'm going to my room, clean up the bathroom as much as you can and pack some things for Bella to survive on, clothes, toiletries, phone, and the essentials. First help me carry her to the bed," She explained.

I was worried, I didn't know much but I was sure basic medical advice was not to move someone who was unconscious, but I trusted Rose. Thankfully Bella had lost a lot of weight over the past eight weeks so it was easy enough to move her.

Rose made her way to her bedroom, I did as I was told, cleared the bathroom of any evidence of the coke, cleaned the blood off the ground before packing Bella an overnight bag, stuffing pyjamas, jeans, t-shirts, and sundresses into a bag along with her toothbrush, cell phone and charger. I ran around the room, packing a few things for myself as well, just in case. The last thing I packed was my newly purchased personalised stationary kit.

"You ready?" Rose asked, showing up in my doorway again.

"Yep," I replied quietly, sighing in the process.

Rosalie was laden with an overnight bag for herself as well as another smaller bag that looked like a first aid kit. She made her way over to Bella laying the first aid kit next to her. She wrapped Bella's bloody hand in a bandage before putting a wet cloth on her forehead.

True to his word, Carlisle was quicker than I had thought, he carried in a lot of medical equipment which instantly made me fear for Bella's life.

He worked quickly and quietly while Rose and I held each other in the corner. Half an hour had past without anyone uttering a word when finally Carlisle turned to face us.

"She'll be okay," He told me softly.

"Are you sure, Carlisle, what if we were too late or did something wrong? I mean shouldn't she go to a hospital?" I questioned.

"You got there just in time, any longer and it could have been too late. You both did everything right, and although it is against everything I am for, being a doctor, it's best if she came back to Port Angeles. If she was at a hospital they would put her in psych ward and possible put her on suicide watch. I don't think she did this to end her life, she did however use a lot of cocaine earlier today, we won't know until she wakes up what really happened, but it's best for her to be here with people who care about her and want her to recover," He said reassuringly.

"Dad, what do we tell Edward?" Rose asked.

"He is going on a camping trip with Emmett and Jasper as you girls know, hopefully by the time he gets home Bella will be awake and better," He explained. "Alice, you are more than welcome to stay with us for as long as you like, I know you are worried about Bella," He added.

I accepted Carlisle's invitation. It took us another fifteen minutes to get Bella into Carlisle's car on a stretcher bed. Rosalie and I followed in Rose's car. It was a quiet car ride, every now and then I would hear a quiet sob from Rose but I tried to ignore it, I was fighting tears myself.

When we arrived at the Cullen's the three of us managed to get Bella into the guest room, settling her in for the night.

Rosalie and I sat beside Bella's bed for the remainder of the night; I had received a number of text messages from Jasper and one phone call that I rejected asking me where I was. The last thing I wanted to do was to lie to Jasper, but I had to, instead of telling him the truth I told him there was a family situation I had to take care of and Rosalie had accompanied me for support. Okay, so maybe it wasn't completely a lie, Bella was practically my family in my eyes and Rosalie was supporting me much more than she should be.

Esme brought us dinner around 7:00pm, hugged both Rosalie and I before making her way over to Bella. She brushed her hair, cleaned her face and with my assistance put her into a clean set of pyjamas. I tried to tell myself that Bella was just sleeping and she would wake up soon enough.

-x-x-x-

Over the next three days Rosalie and I took it in turns to sit by Bella's bedside. At night we would lie awake in Rosalie's bed and whisper about our dreams. Most of them were about Bella waking up; Rosalie had told me how she and Emmett had been seriously talking about marriage and spending the rest of their lives together. She hoped that Bella and I would be standing next to her on the biggest day of her life. I told her about my final counselling session and the letters that I had started to write while Bella was unconscious. I let her know that Jasper was 'my rock' and had helped me through so much over the past few weeks. Rosalie also filled me in on Bella's promise to her about her cocaine use.

The boys had come home on Friday, they were spending most of their time at the McCarty's, and Rosalie had persuaded Emmett into getting them to avoid the Cullen's as much as possible. It was Sunday morning I had planned on going back to Forks on Monday to talk to my parents about my 'situation', Rosalie and I were sitting in Bella's room talking about the arrangements and when I would come back. We had agreed that I should only need to be away until Wednesday, Thursday at the latest, I was going to stay with the Cullen's for the remainder of the summer to be a support for Bella. We still hadn't found a way of telling Edward that Bella was currently 'living' in his house.

Edward had let us know on Friday that he and Bella had broken up; Rosalie and I gave each other meaningful looks when we found out. It was one of the missing pieces to Bella's puzzle we were looking for. He didn't give details on their break up just that they had changed.

"Is it normal for her to be unconscious for this long?" I asked Rosalie while I was writing my letter to Jasper. I had finished my letter for Bella first; it was the hardest to write given the current situation.

"I think so, but it has been quite a while, hasn't it?" She replied softly, shifting in her seat.

I was about to respond when a murmur came from the Bella, we both sat bolt upright to see Bella blinking her eyes open, disorientated. Her eyes were bloodshot, her pupils dilated; the colour in her face had slowly come back over the past few days, although she still looked sick. Rosalie ran out of the room in search of Carlisle.

"Bella, can you hear me?" I asked softly

She looked at me, pain and sorrow in her eyes, slowly nodding in response. Tears slid down my face, I was so happy that she was awake, and although we had made it over one hurdle I knew that there were still many obstacles ahead. I reached out to hold her hand; she flinched away a little before allowing me to squeeze it reassuringly.

Carlisle and Rosalie came into the room; Carlisle was in full doctor mode, hovering over Bella, asking her questions, doing tests, and checking her breathing and heart rate. Rosalie and I stood in the corner holding onto each other for support, until we got the final okay from Carlisle we weren't going to rest until she was well on her way to recovery.

Carlisle turned to face Rose and me before nodding to indicate that we could come closer. We approached with caution. Bella was wide awake, for the first time in three days she looked so small in the queen sized bed she was lying in. She looked petrified, Carlisle had replaced her oxygen mask with a smaller tube that enabled her breathe by herself. She was propped up on two pillows allowing her to sit up.

"Girls, Bella is still a little frail, she is currently suffering from a little short term memory loss which is normal for most people who over dose. I trust the both of you to figure out the cause of this, but tread lightly, I don't want her to go into shock," Carlisle whispered low enough for Bella not to hear.

We sat down in the seats we had become well acquainted with over the past few days; I pulled mine closer to the bed. Rosalie was looking a little hostile, she had confided in me that although she was worried about Bella and her state she was also very pissed off at her that she didn't feel the need to seek either Rosalie's or my help.

"How do you feel Bella?" I asked softly.

"Shit," She responded, her voice failing her. She slowly turned her head towards Rose, sadness flooding her face. "Sorry," She rasped.

Rosalie's hard exterior cracked as soon as Bella apologised, tears welled in her eyes, whipping her nose on her sleeve she cried out loud, climbing onto Bella's bed hugging her. The three of us cried for what seemed like hours, we cried for Bella, for me and Rosalie, for Edward, for the people we were, and for the people we had become.

-x-x-x-

The three of us fell asleep clutching on to each other for support, Esme must have come in during the middle of the night to check on us girls because Rosalie and I had blankets draped over us and there were sandwiches sitting on the night stand. I was the first to wake up on Monday morning, as quietly as possible I crept to Rose's room, showered and dressed before making my way downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning honey," Esme called from the kitchen as soon as she saw me.

"Morning," I replied quietly as I hopped up on a bar stool.

"How's Bella?" She asked placing a plate full of pancakes in front of me.

"I think she'll be okay, but that doesn't mean I'm not worried," I answered truthfully.

"She's lucky to have you and Rose there to support her," She said insightfully, squeezing my hand in reassurance. "Are you still going home today?"

"I need to, for me though, not for anyone else. I know that sounds selfish and I really should be here for Bella, but I can't get better myself until I confront my parents," I had told Esme on Thursday night about James and the termination of my pregnancy. Esme was really the mother of everyone, she held me while I cried and didn't judge me. She was constantly reminding me that I was special and I had more strength than anyone she ever knew. I didn't care if she was only saying it to make me feel better or not, because regardless her words made me feel loved.

Halfway through my pancakes Rosalie came stumbling down the stairs, and although she always looked fantastic after she woke up today Rose looked more tired than ever. She shuffled to the fridge to the get the orange juice, drinking it straight from the carton before leaning her head on Esme, who was now serving Rosalie's pancakes. Esme and Rosalie had a mother-daughter dynamic that I envied, not that I wasn't close with my mom but Esme and Rosalie connected on an unspoken level. Esme pulled Rose into a hug, brushing her hair flat.

"I love you Rosie," Esme whispered, turning towards the stove again.

Rose and I ate the rest of our breakfast in silence, I volunteered to take Bella some breakfast while Rosalie was getting dressed. I needed to tell her that I was going home for a few days, I was also planning on giving her my letter. It would better for me if I wasn't around when she read it.

Bella was sitting up with her phone in her hands when I walked in. She was more awake than yesterday, colour slowly returning to her face.

"Hi Bella, what are you doing?" I asked, setting her breakfast down on the bed

"Nothing, I just turned my phone on. There are no missed calls, no text messages. It's like my parent's haven't even noticed I'm not at home," She said quietly, tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella, maybe you should call them though, let them know you're staying here," I suggested.

"Yeah I guess you're right," She sighed.

We sat together for five minutes quietly while Bella slowly ate, she didn't have much of an appetite. Mostly she just played with her food. I was trying to pluck up the courage to tell her I was leaving. I had to do it soon, I was leaving in an hour.

Taking in a deep breath I looked up to meet her eyes.

"Bella, I'm going home," I breathed.

She just looked at me, not in disappointment, anger or sadness, but instead she had a little bit of pride in her eyes.

"Good, you need to," She smiled, it wasn't a Bella smile but it was definitely a start.

"I know, and I'm leaving today," I told her solemnly. "In an hour actually, but I'll be back soon, I promise,"

Rose joined us shortly after letting me know that Carlisle was almost ready to drive me home. I hugged Bella and Rose goodbye, promising to call later on tonight. I set Bella's letter down on her nightstand before making my way downstairs to where Carlisle was waiting. I threw my bags into the back of Carlisles Audi, with a tear in my eye I climbed into the passenger seat. It didn't feel like I was going home, it felt like I was leaving.

The drive to Forks was quiet and uneventful; knots were forming in my stomach the closer we got to my house. When we arrived, Carlisle helped me inside carrying my bag before giving me a quick hug letting me know that I could call anytime and that he would keep me updated on Bella's progress.

Thankfully my parents weren't home when I got there, I let myself into the empty house, slowly making my way through to my bedroom. My parents house hadn't changed much in the past ten years, the mantel above the fire place held all my school photos, as well as photos from my baptism and communion. There was a small photo of my parents on their wedding day. From the outside looking in my life looked perfect, and I guess up until recently it was.

I walked into my bedroom, it was nothing grand especially in comparison to Rosalie's. It was a simple bedroom, I had a cast iron bed sitting in the middle of the room, a small desk sat in the corner with my ancient desktop computer sitting on top. It didn't seem like my parents had even entered my room since I was last here. I sat on my bed looking through old photo albums from high school, there were so many photos of me in my cheerleading uniform; Smiling and laughing with best friend Victoria, the squad at the Classics and at Homecoming, James and I at Prom, James and I on the night everything changed.

The front door slammed shut causing me to jump, I got up off my bed and made my way into the main part of the house, looking for my parents. I could hear them talking lightly about the church, mom laughed at some lame joke my dad just said. They were sitting in the lounge room, they mustn't had seen my bags lying on the floor. I cleared my throat to announce my presence. My mom whipped around a smile flashing across her face.

"Mary Alice, you're home!" She beamed, almost knocking me over as she hugged me. "John, our baby is home,"

My dad stood up smiling, waiting for mom to finish hugging me before welcoming me home. I was really glad to be home at that moment, things felt right. I had decided I would wait until tomorrow to tell my parents about my 'situation', I just wanted us to be a happy family just one last time.

"Mary Alice, I am so glad you're home!" I flinched everytime she said my full name, I was so used to being just Alice. "We were just talking about you the other day, weren't we John?" My mother never missed a beat; she didn't even wait for my father to respond. "Yes, we were talking to that nice young man, James. You remember James, don't you? Of course you do, you were both so close in high school. He was quiet concerned about you, wondering how you were at college. I really think he's in love with you," Oh god, I didn't know if I could hear much more. I felt like I was going to be sick. "Oh you, two would be perfect together. He comes from such a respectable family, they are a wonderful part of the community," Now was my chance, my mom had stopped to take a breath.

"Mom, you know I'm with Jasper now, and he is wonderful. James and I didn't work, we were two different people," He was a conniving jack ass and I was not.

"Oh pish ah!" Mom said, waving me off. "Regardless, he is coming over for dinner, I thought tonight would be a great time to reconnect with him," She smiled, turning away towards the kitchen muttering something about getting dinner started.

Oh crap, crap, crap! I hated my mothers insistent need to have everything perfect. I wandered into the lounge room where my dad had sat down with the newspaper. My dad and I were able to together in silence without the need to fill it with mindless chatter.

"How's college been sweetie?" Dad asked still reading his newspaper.

"Yeah it's been great, I have made some really great friends there," I replied simple.

"That's good, and this Jasper, is he good enough for you?"

"He's perfect. The best thing that ever happened to me,"

I received a 'humph' in reply, clearly my dad didn't like the idea of Jasper being such a major part of my life.

-x-x-x-

Dinner was the most awkward, uncomfortable thing ever. James was being obsessively nice, it was making me sick. My heart started pounding as soon as he stepped over the threshold of the house. I didn't know how to act. Rosalie told me to stay calm and not let him get to me – I had called an hour before dinner to check in. Bella was getting stronger, but was starting to itch for more coke. They still hadn't told Edward, Rosalie was trying to stay as positive as possible. By the sounds of the phone call it didn't seem that Bella had read my letter yet, I was hoping for the best.

"So Mary Alice, when are you coming home for good?" James asked snidely over dinner.

"I don't think I ever will, I loving being out in the big world," I replied shortly.

"Oh come on Mary Alice, this is your home. It will always be here," He smirked.

"That may be true, but I am creating a new life for myself now," I said hopefully setting him straight.

My mom didn't stop talking all night, if she wasn't going on and on about the church then she was gushing over James dropping snide hints that we should get back together. When James when to leave he kissed my mother on the cheek, shook my father's hand and went to give me a hug. Instead gripping my arms and whispering "I'll always be around, don't forget that," with conviction.

I had survived my first night back in Forks, that night in bed I tossed and turned all night long, trying to get over my fear of talking to my parents the next day.

Tuesday morning I was up at sparrows fart, I decided to talk to my parents before morning mass just to get it over and done with. I was pottering around the kitchen when my parents walked in, my mother humming a tune to some Christian song, popping grapes into her mouth. She seemed so happy. Now was the time.

"Mom, dad, I need to talk to you," I sighed.

"What is it honey?" Mom sang.

I took in a deep breath, reminding myself that things would be okay. "I ah, need to tell you something about James... And about me," I said fidgeting with the apple I was holding.

My parents looked at me intently waiting for me to continue, I however was waiting for them to interrupt.

"We ahh, last year... after the big game... we... we had sex," I breathed.

My dad started shaking his head. "Mary Alice, what happened to 'no sex before marriage'? I am disappointed, but there is always reconciliation," He said simply.

My mom just sat there, looking at me. Okay, now for the hard part.

"There's more," I mumbled, tears forming in my eyes. "I fell pregnant,"

"Ha!" My mom laughed. "Oh you're funny Mary Alice, you almost had us going for a second,"

My mom was beside herself with laughter, thinking this was all just a joke. My dad however knew where the rest of this conversation was going.

"I don't think she is joking Cynthia," He grumbled.

"Okay, then where is the baby John? Where is the baby Mary Alice?" She laughed. Then it clicked.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't... I'm too young to be a mom," I whispered looking down in shame.

The tension in the room was so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. I was waiting for the ball to drop at any moment, for my parents to say something. I gave them time to mull it all over in their minds, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Finally my father broke the silence.

"I want you out," He said simply.

Tears stung my cheeks as he said it. "What?" I asked hoping I was just hearing things.

"I want you out of my house," He repeated. "There is no way I am having a daughter who would commit such a heinous crime, especially when I preach how every life is precious,"

"Daddy, please," I pleaded, looking to my mom for support. She however chose my dad's side, standing behind him, a cold look crossed her face.

"You can have until we get back from the service, I don't want to see you here again. Leave your key on the bench," He finalised before standing up and leaving the house, my mother quick on his heels.

I heard the click of the door behind them, I was alone. My parents had completely abandoned me. My greatest fear had been confirmed, every breath of air had been knocked out of my lungs. I didn't know what to do or where to go. Without even thinking I picked up my phone and dialled the newest number in there.

"Carlisle, can you come get me?"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Okay, just wanted to say a quick... I'M BACK! Check the bottom for a big 'excuse'**

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><p>I looked out my hotel room window and saw the bustling New York streets below. Exactly a month ago I was in Port Angeles with the only family I have ever known.<p>

It took me a week to fully recover and almost three weeks to stop wanting to do another line of cocaine. The Cullens had extended every courtesy toward me during that time.

They were everything a family should be, supportive, kind and loving. However, when Edward found out I was staying there shit hit the fan. It wasn't fun to be on the receiving end of his anger, more than anything though I think he was upset and hurt. For the first week or two he practically lived at the McCarty's, and when he did move back in he barely acknowledge me.

"Bella, don't be too offended, he was just worried about you. Don't take it to heart too much," Rose told me a couple of days before I left.

I tried to believe her but I couldn't.

Thankfully only the Cullens and Alice knew of my little addiction, Emmett and Jasper were still in the dark about it all. I knew one day I would have to confront them about it, they were after all two of my best friends.

On top of allowing me to recuperate in their home, the Cullens had also welcomed Alice into their home more permanently after her parents disowned her. I had to quietly thank Alice for that; it took the attention off me for a while.

We were all quite surprised at the Brandon's actions towards their daughter. My heart broke as Alice recounted the details the Friday she returned.

I owed Alice so much, after reading her letter to me I knew exactly what I wanted to do. It was just a matter of getting the Cullens to allow me to. But I had a plan. I explained to them that I needed to go home; I needed to sort things out with my family, work through it all. At first Rose and Alice were determined to come with me, but I managed to convince them that I would be okay on my own.

I left for New York early on a Tuesday morning, although everyone was under the impression that I was heading back to LA. I left with the hope that I would find what I needed for things to be right. For four weeks I haven't had any contact with any one from Seattle, let alone my family.

That brings me to today, it was raining outside, and it very much reminded me of Seattle and everything and everyone I had left behind.

I folded the letter that I read over thousands of times over the past three weeks, and placed it inside my wallet. It was Alice's letter to me.

_Bella, find your happiness_.

She had told me in the final line of her letter. That was something I still intended to do.

I grabbed my umbrella from the corner of my room and walked down stairs. Since coming to New York I had made it a ritual to walk through Central Park at least once a day. Not only was it great exercise for me, but it was cleansing for my mind.

Today for the first time in weeks, I had thoughts of the coming semester. How could I return to Seattle? I couldn't live on campus anymore, it wasn't healthy for me. But I knew I couldn't bum around for the rest of my life like the rest of my 'friends' from LA were doing.

I had been avoiding contacting my family for as long as possible, but I knew that I needed to talk to my father about my plans. After all the new semester was set to start in just over two weeks.

My stomach churned as I walked down Fifth Avenue I looked into shop windows as I walked, I needed the distraction. And a distraction I found as I passed a Starbucks that I usually frequent. There standing at the counter waiting for their order were the five people that could make everything right. I was hoping I could walk on by without being noticed, but nothing ever really goes my way. Alice spotted me through the window and ran outside to stop me.

"Bella!" She shouted, stopping just outside the door.

I had two options, I could keep walking and pretend I didn't hear her, or I could turn around and face her. Either way I knew by the end of today they would have caught up with me. They knew where I was now.

I chose to have a little courage and confront my fate.

Slowly I turned on my heel and I saw her standing there. Her hair had grown since I had last seen her, instead of being the short spiky bob I had created months ago it now brushed her shoulders, still sticking out at odd ends. She was wearing dark denim jeans and a loose knit top, and for the first time in just under a year she was wearing her glasses.

"Hi Alice," I said in a small voice.

I couldn't have predicted what happened next, she ran at me at a full sprint embracing my body as if she hadn't seen me in years.

"Bella, we were so worried about you. We only found out a week ago that you never arrived in LA, we caught the first flight here. I was scared you had hit the bottom again, I mean we've been here for days and haven't seen or a heard a single thing about you," She kept talking, barely stopping to take a breath. "Your mother wasn't much help, she just said you must have taken a trip to New York because that's where your last credit card purchase was from," I started to tune her out then, I knew she would continue talking.

I looked past her and saw Rose, Emmett, Jasper and to my surprise Edward standing a few metres away, Rose had a vacant expression, which I knew meant that I was in serious trouble with her. Emmett had his signature grin plastered on his face, I was assuming that he just thought he was going on a holiday, Jasper smiled a small smile, trying not to give too much away. Edward, however, stood there looking like he was in pain, like he didn't choose to be here.

"Listen Alice, as great as it is to see you all here, you really didn't have to come. I am fine, I'm clean, trust me," I assured her.

Edward snorted as he walked away.

There was a lump in my throat, the kind you get when you're holding back tears.

"I have to go," I whispered, hoping she would let me leave quietly.

"No!" She screamed at me. "No, Bella, the past 12 months have been a shit storm yes, but it was your choice to make it worse than it really was. Jesus Bella, I was so completely and utterly lost when I met you, I was trying to get through the aftermath of an abortion, but you know what, I didn't take the easy way out like you. Cocaine was your quick fix, delaying the inevitable," Throwing her arms around for emphasis, Rosalie nodded in agreement while Emmett looked around in confusion.

"You're my friend, so I am going to be frank with you. This shit needs to stop, do you hear me? How many times do each and every one of us need to prove to you that we aren't going anywhere? It doesn't matter how bad a situation is, we will be here, you just need to have a little faith in us," She told me sincerely.

I took a deep breath trying to collect my thoughts.

"Look Alice," I started. "I am struggling, but I am getting there. There is so much I need to figure out, I can't just get on a plane and go back to Seattle and College. Living on campus wasn't good for me, Rose, you know that! You both saw me at my worst,"

"Bella, you took 'College experiences' to a whole new level," Rose interjected.

"Well any way, I can't go back if living in a dorm is the only option I have. I have a plan though, I just need to talk to my father," I assured them.

"What's your genius plan then?" snorted Edward.

"Edward!" Rose scolded. "Listen Bella, talk to your dad, but we aren't letting you out of our sight again,"

"Exactly what Rose said," Alice agreed.

I agreed that I wouldn't run off any more, despite wanting to hide away. There was a tense silence where all six of us were standing on the side walk outside Starbucks.

"Well, I'm bloody hungry. Who wants to hit up Central Perk?" Emmett boomed with a giant grin on his face.

"Geeze Em, Central Perk is fictitious, but I agree lets go somewhere and eat," Rose laughed, slapping Emmett on the arm.

Nervously I followed everyone down the street, Edward staying as far away from me as possible. In less than ten minutes we were seated at a fancy restaurant, Alice and Rose were taking the lead and ordering Tapas for everyone.

Over the course of lunch the six of us, if you included Edwards eye rolls and sarcastic snorts, made small talk. Emmett talked animatedly about Fourth of July and how 'epic' it was, Alice confided that although she missed her parents she was glad to have people in her life that wanted to be there. Rose, although cold, still tried to include me in each conversation, I knew that I would have to make it up to her in a huge way.

"So Bella, aside from hiding out in New York for the past month, don't worry I hold nothing against you. What have you been up to this summer?" Jasper asked with a friendly smile.

"Nothing really, I've just been trying to clear my head, I try to go for a walk every day in Central Park, but it's been pretty quiet," I assured him. "To tell you the truth it's been just want I needed."

"That's great!" Alice chimed in. "I can't wait for all of us to be together again! It's going to be great, even if it is just for a fortnight, we really will miss you next semester at College Edward,"

Edwards head snapped up. "Alice!" He hissed.

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><p><strong>AN- Okay, here it is me groveling for your forgiveness... I know I have been away for so very long, but we all have RL that calls, and for the past go knows how many months mine has been nonstop... I swear I could have my own story line on 'Days of Our Lives'. **

**I cannot promise that I will not have to pause A Reason to Believe Again again, but here is my promise... If I do go on a little 'break' it won't be for so long next time.**

**So read and review, it makes me feel good!**

**xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N- Sorry guys, don't know what happened with this update... Here is Chapter 14... Enjoy :)**

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><p>"Alice." Edward hissed.<p>

Alice's pale face went a deep shade of pink. "I'm sorry Edward, I…" She started.

"Oh come on E, what did you think? She wouldn't notice you were gone and life would continue on as if you had never left?" Emmett interrupted.

Edward looked like he was about to throttle Emmett.

"My decisions are _my_ decisions Emmett, and they have nothing to do with _her_," He said, venom dripping from every word.

The table went quiet, the way I saw it, it was now or never if I wanted to talk to Edward. I didn't think I would get another chance, not if he had anything to say about it. I sat a little straighter in my chair, trying to find courage, before turning toward him.

"Look Edward, I know you're mad at me, I get that. But I do care about you, I never stopped. I would have liked to have known you weren't returning to college, but I also understand that you are quite mad at me," I said in a strong voice. The next words out of my mouth surprised even me, "If you don't want me in your life anymore, please just say the word and I will try to distance myself from you as much as possible,"

He looked dumbfounded, everyone did. Alice was cracking her knuckles, Jasper stared at me with wide eyes, Rose was biting her nails, and Emmett sat there with his mouth open full of food.

"Well then, let's not prolong this awkward lunch any longer than, now that we've got that sorted." Edward said, standing up and walking away from the table, throwing his credit card at the cashier.

"Edward," Rosalie pleaded, as he walked out the door.

The rest of lunch was quiet, I felt horrible for what had just happened, I had never meant for Edward to get up and leave. As we were leaving the restaurant Alice suggested that Emmett and Jasper should check on Edward while her and Rosalie helped me pack, they were adamant that I wasn't going to stay in my hotel alone, instead I would get a room at their hotel and leave for Washington tomorrow afternoon – after Alice had done all the touristy things.

-x-x-x-

Rosalie was sitting on my bed picking at the ends of her hair while Alice was downstairs on the phone arranging our flights for tomorrow. It didn't take me too long to pack, seeing as I didn't bring too much with me. To be perfectly honest I had no idea where any of my things that I had brought to college were.

"They're in your room at mom and dads." Rose said, as if should read my thoughts.

"Thanks." I whispered. I sat down on the bed next to her.

Another moments silence passed us; it was beginning to get quite awkward.

"Why?" Rose asked, breaking the silence between us. "Why did you just leave?"

I didn't know what to say to her, only that she needed to know the truth.

"I needed to be strong on my own." I told her.

"Bella! You don't need to do everything by yourself, how many times do I need to tell you that?" She contested.

"I know Rose. But for years I had thought that I was happy, that I had everything I needed to live a full life. But I was wrong, and I didn't realise that until everything I truly loved was taken away, and it was my fault. The truth is I can't be happy around others until I am happy by myself." I told her with sincerity.

"So are you happy?" She asked.

"Yes and no."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She looked at me quizzically.

Just as I was about to answer Alice strode into the room with a grin on her face. "Well the flights are all sorted, and I have a little surprise in store for everyone tomorrow, just to lighten the mood a little." She said plopping herself into a desk chair. "Are you ready to go yet Bella?" she asked.

"All packed yes, umm just give me a couple of minutes, I need to call someone," I told them, stepping out into the hall.

I dialled an all too familiar number, and was quite surprised that my call was answered.

"Charlie Swan," The voice on the other end of the line answered.

"Hi daddy," I whispered back.

"Bells, is that you?" My dad answered.

"Yeah, it is." I said.

"How are you? Your mother told me you had taken a vacation, that's why you never came home for the summer. To be perfectly honest I am a little happy that you didn't come back, it hasn't been the nicest summer, what with the divorce finally coming to an end. It wasn't something I would want you around for, it would just hurt you even more that it already has. Although I am quite upset that I haven't seen you since, what, last Christmas? Bells, a father should see their baby girl more than that, don't you think?" Dad rambled on.

I swallowed that lump that had formed in my throat before answering him. "I'm sorry dad, I really am. I'll be back before you know it though," I assured him. "Look daddy, I'm calling for a reason though. I need to ask a favour."

"Sure baby girl, anything."

"The new semester is starting again soon, and I have lived my compulsory year on campus, but it's not healthy for me there. There are too many distractions, you know? Anyway, I just wanted to know if I could live off campus for the rest of my time at college." I asked sheepishly.

"Bells," Dad started.

"Nothing too big, I'll get a job, I'll pay rent, please?" I pleaded.

"Bells, you don't need to pay rent, I'm your dad, and I am not taking your money. I just don't like the idea of you living on your own." He told me. "Why don't you ask your girlfriends if they would like to live with you? I'll call the realtor and get back to you tonight, okay?"

I couldn't believe my luck, I thought I would have to grovel a little more. "Okay daddy, thank you!" I practically squealed.

"Okay, Bells, ask your friends, I'll talk to you later." He told me. "I love you baby girl,"

"I love you too daddy," I replied before hanging up.

The thing about my dad and me was that we had a different kind of relationship. If I asked for something I got it, but I never asked for much. I gathered myself before walking back into my hotel room.

Alice and Rose were lying on the bed watching TV, eating minibar chocolates.

"That's going to cost me a fortune," I scolded.

"You'll get over it and live; besides we had nothing else to do." Alice squeaked, standing up from the bed.

"Ready?" Rose asked.

"Yep, umm… but can I ask you girls something first?" I asked, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Shoot." Alice said.

"Okay, well I just got off the phone with my dad, and like I mentioned before I can't live on campus anymore, and my dad just agreed to buy me a place. But he doesn't like the idea of me living alone, and he suggested I ask if you two if you would like to live with me." I said slowly. "I mean you don't have to I just thought I'd ask. Think about it, talk to Esme and Carlisle, and then you can get back to me." I blurted out.

Rose climbed of the bed, grabbed her handbag and made her way to the door. "What a stupid question." She muttered. "As if you even need to ask, I'll talk to mom and dad tonight." She said as she wrenched open the door.

"Come on Bella! We'll talk more about it tonight, let's go!" Alice chimed in, taking hold of my suitcase.

After checking out of my hotel, and paying $25 for the two cans of coke and two chocolate bars that Rose and Alice devoured, we made our way across town to The Empire Hotel. Alice insisted the three of us girls share a room as the boys were going to spend the night with Edward.

We spent the afternoon lying around the room watching movies, Rosalie called Esme and Carlisle and after no convincing at all they agreed to let Rose live with Alice and I, under the proviso that Esme was allowed to decorate. Seeing as the semester was starting soon we didn't have any objections to that. A little after six my dad called me back.

"Hey Bells." He chortled.

"Hi Daddy, did you have any luck?"

"Yes I did, look I don't have much time, I am at the airport and my flight is starting to board. I've found you a new house close to U-Dub; I'm heading to Seattle to sign the papers." He told me.

"Really? I didn't think it would be that quick." I said, almost speechless.

"Well honey, I know semester is starting soon and I didn't want you to have to worry about accommodation until we found you a place. Now, did you speak to your friends, and their parents?" He asked.

"Yes Dad, Rose and Alice are going to move in with me, and Esme, Rosalie's mom, agreed to help us decorate," I smiled.

"That's great baby! Listen, would you send through Esme's phone number, and I'll drop the keys off to them, because I don't think I will be in town by the time you get back," He said.

I gave him the Cullen's phone number, before saying good bye. Half an hour later Alice ordered Chinese, we sat on the floor eating and chatting about our new house. But there was an elephant in the room, and I needed to confront it.

"Rose, where's he going?" I asked.

"He's going to kill me for telling you," She started.

"She needs to know though," Alice interrupted, shoving Teriyaki Chicken into her mouth.

"I know Al," Rose said before turning to me. "Bella, he's joined the Army, his enlistment date is a week after semester starts."

I was speechless. Had Edward changed just as much as I had over the past six months? I couldn't imagine going back to College and not having Edward around. Despite the animosity between us, mostly on his part, I never wanted to drive him away.

"He wanted to be a doctor," I said, merely pointing out a fact.

"He's going to be a medic now; he's still going to do what he wanted." Rose said quietly. "I'm sorry Bella, I wish he'd be the one to tell you, but he's still pretty pissed off at you. My brother knows how to hold a grudge."

I was quiet for the rest of the night, falling asleep fairly early just to escape from my thoughts. I wish Edward had told me, hell, if wishes were coming true, I wish he didn't have to leave and he didn't hate me anymore. I fell into a restless slumber only to be woken up at sparrows fart by Alice complaining that we would be late, especially if we wanted breakfast.

After a quick shower, and dressing in denim cut off shorts, an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and my trusty converses, we met the boys at the hotel restaurant for a buffet breakfast where Alice was quick to let us all know of our itinerary for the day. Emmett and Jasper had convinced Edward to 'play nice' for the day, and by play nice I mean keep all sarcastic comments intended for me to himself.

The day had gone off without a hitch, we managed to get into the Empire State Building quickly, the view of Manhattan was spectacular and nothing I had ever experienced before. As we were making our way to our next destination, Emmett became hungry, after all 10.45am was lunch time to Emmett. Emmett and Jasper decided that we couldn't leave New York without having a hot dog from a hot dog vendor, Rose was very hesitant in eating hers as, and I quote, she was not going to eat something that was served by a man with two teeth missing. Eventually she succumbed to hunger and ate it any way, the look on her face was priceless, and thankfully we were able to capture it on video and message it to Esme and Carlisle to enjoy.

Around noon we arrived at Ground Zero, I had never anticipated the overwhelming surge of sorrow that I felt when we stood there reading the names of the people who had lost their lives. Looking back now, going to Ground Zero was a turning point in my life, it was the very moment that I made a conscious decision to change and become a better person, before then I was riddled with doubt. But being there gave me a new found respect for life.

Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett were off being all 'lovey' and 'coupley', Edward was standing by the remnants of the second tower. I took a deep breath and made my way over to him.

He didn't move away, nor did he make a snide remark, instead he stood there focused on the names in front of him.

"Rose told me about the army," I said in a small voice.

He was silent for a moment, drawing in a breath before speaking. "You were quite happy to harm yourself, and potentially kill yourself. But these people had no choice, they were taken." He whispered.

"I was weak," It was the truth. "But I am trying." My voice cracking as the words came out.

We stood in silence, after what felt like hours, although it was probably only a couple of minutes, Edward broke the silence.

"I loved you," He said in a low voice.

I didn't know what to say to him, I never knew he felt that strongly for me.

"Please don't go. We can try to fix this, please." I pleaded.

Edward turned to face me, he looked broken.

"I need to leave, and you need to be strong, continue with your degree and become a wildly successful author." He told me.

"Why? Why do you _need_ to leave?"

"I need to forge my own path in life. College was never an option for me; that was until I realised that it wasn't what I wanted."

"What am I going to do without you?" I asked as tears slid down my face.

"I won't be gone forever. I have three months training, and then I could get stationed anywhere after that. Besides, you won't be alone; I would never leave if I knew you wouldn't have someone there for you. Rose and Alice will be there, and as much as it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but Jazz and Emmett would take a bullet for you. They were the ones that managed to get us all out here; Rose was just going to keep trying to call your cell." He said, wiping away the tears that were dampening my face.

"I wasn't lying when I said I loved you Bella. We just can't be together at the moment."

There were a million and one thoughts that were running through my head, things I wanted to say to him, but words just wouldn't form. Instead I nodded a small nod before he took me in his arms.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur; Rose insisted we stop at Saks Fifth Avenue before we checked out of our hotel. Alice made us all stop for an early dinner of New York Pizza – another thing she wouldn't let us leave the city before trying. Before I knew it we were sitting on the plane bound for Port Angeles, with a short stopover in Seattle.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- What did you think? Leave a review and let me know... I am already halfway done writing Chapter 15. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N – Wow, I am a pretty bad author aren't I? How many months did it take me to repost. In any case, there is another Authors Note at the end if you care to read it.**

It had been two weeks since New York, Edward and I had spoken briefly here and there, always about superficial things, and never about his impending departure. Rosalie, Alice and I had moved into our new home, it was a relatively new Town House with three bedrooms, and much to our dismay only one bathroom. As promised, Esme had furnished and decorated it for us, it was very homey, and it reflected each of us perfectly. She even made sure we had a state of the art television with both a Playstation3 and a Nintendo Wii, because let's face it Jasper and Emmett would be here more often than not.

The day before semester started we had the Cullens and the McCartys over for a housewarming dinner. Alice surprised us all with the news that she had found a job as a waitress at a small café in the city, she received a scolding from Esme, because as far as Esme and Carlisle were concerned she didn't need to worry about a job while she was at college, and they were more than happy to pay for her, she was quickly becoming their adopted daughter of sorts. But Alice being Alice waved them off, telling them it was only a couple of afternoons a week, and it would fuel her shoe fund. To be perfectly honest, I was actually quite proud of Alice, she was exceeding every ones expectations and becoming an amazingly independent young woman.

The next week Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and I fell into a routine of eating, going to class, napping, and studying. I barely had time to think of Edward, but on Saturday morning when I was woken up by a sharp knock on my bedroom door I knew today was the day that we would have to face reality.

"Bella, we have to be at the airport in an hour," Rose called through the door.

Mumbling I rolled out of bed and shuffled out of my bedroom. Rose was standing by my door with a cup of Cranberry and Pomegranate tea for me, cringing at Alice singing in the shower.

"Alice is still in the bathroom," She said as she sipped her coffee. "If only she would HURRY UP." She then yelled at the bathroom door.

Alice's singing became louder.

"I've learnt to shower at night if I have to share a bathroom with Alice," I told her, blowing on my hot cup of tea as I turned back into my room to get ready.

I didn't know what to wear, I wasn't the heartbroken girlfriend watching the love of her life leave, but I wasn't the heartless ex-girlfriend saying Sayonara forever.

Eventually I settled on my dark blue super skinny jeans, a peach coloured tank top with a zipper running down the length of my back, paired with Alice's black knee high boots. I left my hair down and naturally curly, swiping on some mascara before I descended the stairs.

Alice was sitting in the kitchen eating a pop tart while checking her facebook page, she was dressed in a black floral skirt, teal tshirt and matching flats, she wore very little make up, and her hair was straightened and just skimming her shoulders.

"Rose is still getting ready," She mumbled with her mouth full.

"It's okay; we still have a couple of minute until we have to leave." I told her, stealing half of her remaining pop tart.

"No we don't, we're going now, I want to get a latte before we get to the airport," Rose said as she rounded the corner wearing denim shorts, a white tshirt and a dusty rose vest. Her wavy blonde hair was down and she had a knitted head band wrapped around the top of her head – I never understood those knitted head bands, shouldn't they just be called beanies with a hole in them? Either way it looked good on Rose.

"You had a coffee this morning," Alice responded.

"Urgh, I hate instant coffee though. Remind me to ask Santa for a coffee machine for Christmas," Rose laughed.

Twenty five minutes later, the three of us emerged from Rosalies car running very late, although Rose did get her latte and Alice also snagged an iced coffee. We ran to Edwards departure gate while the girls tried not to spill their drinks.

"Girls! You almost missed him," Esme exclaimed, giving the three of us a small hug.

"Sorry, Rose insisted on getting a latte." I explained.

Edward stood in front of us, shifting from one foot to the other, holding a duffle bag full of his worldly possessions. It was evident that he was nervous as all hell and scared shitless.

"He has to board the plan in a minute." Carlisle said, clapping Edward on the shoulder.

Alice said her good byes, wishing Edward luck and making him swear on his right nut to email and call at least once a week. She also teased him of all the plans she was making of changing his bedroom into hers at Esme and Carlisles.

Afterwards Rose handed her latte over to Emmett, who stole a sip as soon as her back was turned, and made her way over to Edward. Her face was blotchy, and her eyes were holding back tears.

"What am I going to do without you?" She said.

"Rosie, you're going to do great things. You don't need me hanging around to do that." He smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

"I'm going to miss you Eddie Bear," She laughed, as tears ran down her face.

"I'm going to miss you more Rosie Posie." Edward whispered in her ear.

They held onto each other for a little while longer, Esme had tears flooding her eyes as she watched her two children saying their goodbyes.

"Attentions Passengers of Flight PA-856 we will now be boarding seats 1 to 20, please make your way to the gate for boarding. Thank you." The airline announced over the intercom.

"That's me." Edward sighed, letting go of Rose and picking up his bag.

He gave everyone one last hug, Esme was sobbing into Carlisles shoulder as Edward said good bye to his parents.

"Well, see ya." He said to me, clapping me on the shoulder.

-x-x-x-

"SEE YA!" Alice screeched, later that evening as the three of us ate pizza in front of the television. "All he said to you was, See ya?"

I sighed, taking a bite of my cheese pizza. "Yes, Alice, that's all he said to me before he boarded the plane."

Alice continued to complain, telling both Rose and I that she was going to call him every second of every day until he provided a suitable explanation as to his parting words with me.

Rose scrubbed her face with her hands before turning on Alice. "Jesus, Alice. It has nothing to do with either of us, just leave Edward and Bella sort out their shit on their own. I am sure he had his reasons."

Alice was drawn a blank, she sat looking at Rose with her mouth open before she slowly turned her attention to the TV. She had lost. I turned to Rose and mouthed 'Thanks' Rose just shrugged her shoulders in response.

If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I was more hurt than I was pissed off at Edward for not giving me a proper goodbye.

I did what I do best and supressed my feeling, I plastered a smile on my face and tried to forget about all of it.

The following week, I was able to avoid any questions or conversations about Edward, even though Alice kept trying to subtly talk about him around me, always dropping questions about whether or not Rose had heard from him.

Thursday afternoon I wasn't so lucky, or maybe I was really lucky, whatever way you want to look at it. I came home to an empty house, Rose was out with Emmett at the movies, and Alice was working. I went about my usual routine, dumped my bag in the study, wriggled out of my jeans and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, flicked on the TV, and shuffled out to check the mail.

As I walked back inside, I did inventory of our mail. Bloomingdales catalogue for Rose, Saks catalogue for Alice, and the usual assortment of junk mail. But amidst the catalogues for grocery stores and cheap clothing warehouses I spotted an envelope, and in a messy scrawl that reminded me of chicken scratches was my name and address.

I had seen this handwriting before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Flipping the envelope over I tried looking for a return address, and sure in the left hand corner in matching chicken scratches:

_E. A. Cullen  
>Fort Sam Houston<br>San Antonio, TX 78234_

My heart felt like it had stopped as soon as I read the return address. Slowly, I turned to towards the stairs, forgetting about the TV and made my way to my bedroom staring at the envelope the whole way there.

When I was in the comfort of my room, I sat on my bed my shaking hands slowly opened Edwards letter. I didn't know what to expect from him and was scared of what he might have written. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for his words before I read.

_Dear B,_

_It seems like so long ago that we were at orientation and only meeting for the first time. Where has the last year gone? It feels like a different life time for me._

_I am writing to you today for one reason and one reason only. _

_Redemption._

_Our parting words last Saturday were not memorable, and I know that you must be playing them over in your head a thousand times a day, just as I am._

_Truth be told, I had nothing I could say to you. _

_That seems harsh I know, but please let me elaborate. I had nothing I could say to you, because how can you say goodbye to the love of your life? I could easily tell my family goodbye, because I knew at the end of the day they would be there, they are my family after all. But you, you are as free as a bird and I was scared of telling you goodbye, for fear of it actually being our final goodbye. _

_I know you don't understand why I had to leave, and sometimes I don't either. But for the most part I think the reason why I decided to join the army was because I needed to help people who needed it, because last year I couldn't help you. _

_The day I saw you with Lauren was a dark day, B, I didn't know what to think. In retrospect it all made sense, and suddenly you erratic behaviour from the previous couple of months all kind of made sense to me. I didn't want to believe it._

_When you told me that you were always sober around me, I wanted to laugh in your face. B, I struggled for so long after that day. But I know now, everything you told me was the truth, I only wonder why you never came to be when it all started? Or even Rose? _

_B, we never would have judged you. All any one of us has ever wanted to do was help you. _

_This past summer was really difficult on the five of us B, but that is not something I want to get into right now._

_You have such a kind heart, I think you just struggle with who you are and finding your place in the world. But I also think at the end of the day, aren't we all trying to find out place?_

_My place though, is the army. I have only been here for a couple of days, and it is hard, too hard at times, but B, this my place. I start my medic training in a month, and if all goes well I will be home for Thanksgiving, and maybe even Christmas._

_B, I know this letter isn't epically long, but it expresses most of what I wanted to say to you. _

_I couldn't say goodbye to you, because it would have been the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I never want to see the day where I am telling you goodbye for good. B, you are it for me. _

_I love you._

_Tu me manques_

_Edward_

Tears were running down my face as I finished his letter. Everything he had just written to me made sense, the way he had acted at the airport made sense.

All I wanted to do was to hug him, to tell him that I loved him also. But I also understood that he had found his niche, and he needed to work hard at accomplishing his dreams.

That night, I locked myself in my bedroom, only emerging to eat a quick dinner with Alice after she returned home from work. I wrote my response to Edward, I wrote him everything he needed to know, everything I wanted him to know. As I did so I knew, that when I posted this letter, this was it for me, there on a few sheets of paper was my heart and soul.

**A/N – Okay a few things. Number 1, excuses… I am a full time student at uni, I also work 30+ hours a week and until recently I was also technically working full time as a Teacher on top of all of that to complete my prac. This year has been pretty tough on me, and as such I have not had too much enthusiasm to write. But I promise, after the 23****rd**** Nov, I will be back in full swing as I will be on Summer Holidays!**

**Second, I know this chapter wasn't that long, but it has been in the works for a while, I knew exactly what I wanted to say, just not how to say it… See above for why!**

**Thirdly, I came across a picture of Tumblr which pretty much helped me with Edwards letter to Bella and it said: **_**In French, you don't really say "I miss you." You say "Tu me manques," which is closer to "you are missing from me." I love that "you are missing from me." You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.**_** I honestly think this sums up Edward and Bellas relationship in both the Saga and here!**

**Reviews are like little reassuring hugs, and I love getting them!**

**Until next time – which I honestly hope is within the fortnight.**

**xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N – Oh WOW, I managed to get this done in the same night! Go me!**

**I listened to a couple of songs while writing this.**

**Ronan by Taylor Swift & Fix you by Coldplay**

**Enjoy.**

I finished my letter to Edward at 10.30 the same night; I couldn't wait until the next day before posting it, because I knew if I waited any longer I would chicken out. Instead I threw my trusty pair of Ugg boots on over my pyjama pants, grabbed my cardigan and made my way down stairs, passing straight past Emmett and Rose who were having a Wii Tennis tournament in the lounge room. I ran down the street to our nearest post box and deposited my letter.

"Take care of my heart Edward; I have left it with you." I whispered as the letter fell into the box.

-x-x-x-

_Edward,_

_Thank you for your letter. It was reassuring to know you do not hold any animosity towards me._

_Before I write my letter, I need to let you know, after this letter you will not hear from me for a while. It is for the best, I assure you. Like you said, I need to find my place in this world. And I don't think I can do that by living in the past. _

_I have so much I want to tell you, and so much more I need to tell you._

_Firstly, I would like to thank you. Thank you for your friendship, but more importantly your love. I do not deserve any of it. Every second that I have spent with you has filled me with so much happiness. At times I wish this year had not gone the way it had, but I do not think that we would be where we are without the events that have unfolded this past year. _

_I would also like to apologise for everything I have put you, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett through. I acted irrationally, and on impulse. I was hurting and I wanted more than anything for that pain to end. I was weak and looking for an easy way out._

_The first time I did cocaine I sought out Rose's help, and she assured me that she was there for me. Unfortunately, as I mentioned I was weak. After my mother announced her divorce to my father that broke me, once again Rose was there for me. For as long as I live I will never be able to make it up to her, nor do I ever feel I will ever have her full trust again, for which I am trying so very hard to regain. After that night, I managed my addiction. I didn't think my behaviour was becoming too erratic, I understood that I was withdrawing from everyone, but hoped you would all see that as my own way of grieving. _

_For those months, every Sunday was the day I looked forward to the most. They were the days I spent with you; they were the days that made me feel alive, even if I was barely living._

_The day you saw me with Lauren felt like the end for me. I can assure you that never was it my intention to end my life. That day when you turned your back on me felt like my heart was being ripped out of my foot. When I returned to my room, I wanted nothing more than to numb the pain I was feeling, this pain was far worse than the day I found out about my parents' divorce. _

_Unfortunately, only Alice and Rosalie can fill in the blanks after this. Alice has told me briefly of how she found me; lying on the bathroom floor surrounded in blood. I wish I could erase that memory for her. She does not deserve that, neither does Rose._

_I would also like to apologise. I want to apologise for many things; for not coming to you when I was in trouble last year. I know now you would have been there with arms open. But I know now that it was never your job to fix me, it was no one's job but mine. And it is going to be difficult but I think I am slowly getting there. I want to apologise for Alice and Rose not telling you about me at the start of the summer, they were only trying to protect you, knowing full well of how you would react, and how that could have been a detriment to my recovery. I know now that you all have only had my best interests at heart. Following that, I am sorry for running away. Once again I was trying to find my place in the world, and as you would remember – or at least I hope you do – I wanted to visit New York, I had hopes that it would be my place. But, in all honesty I think my heart belongs in a place I have yet to call home, but one day I hope to – Port Angeles. _

_You, Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, your Mum and Dad, are more my family than I have ever experienced from my own family. They where I belong. _

_Edward, there is so much I would like to apologise for, and I am sure that I have missed something here, but I assure you that from the bottom of my heart, all the pain, and heart ache I have put you through I am truly sorry. But mostly I am sorry for not accepting the love from you, I know now that I deserve._

_It was not until I saw you walk away from me for a second time that I knew how strongly I feel about you. Unfortunately, I do not think it would be wise for us to seek any sort or relationship with one another just yet. I love you Edward, you are everything I want to be, and everything I need to be. _

_I firmly believe that we are destined for one another, whether that is in a year or ten years time. _

_This brings me to destiny. It's something my parents always told me does not exist. But I don't believe them. I honestly believe there is such thing as destiny. People come into your life when you need them most, they may be there for a short period of time, and they may stay until the end. Edward, I am positive that you will be there for me until the end. You, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett are my destiny. "Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences." I choose you Edward, I choose Rose and Emmett, and I choose Alice and Jasper. But more importantly I choose to live. Because if I do not choose to live than what is your destiny? _

_Edward, I have had a dream, a dream that I never thought would come true. And I know now, that unless I share it with someone it very well may not. I dream of changing some one's life, for the better. Only then will I know I have achieved anything._

_There is a reason why this will be my last correspondence with you for quite some time, Edward. Alice will kill me, but I need to do this. Edward, it would be best if we cut ties for a little while. I am working on me for the time being. And I need you to work on you, because when I see you or talk to you next I want you to tell me of how successful you have become in the army. But more than anything I want to show to you my strength that only you have ever believed in. You have given me the confidence to chase my dreams and ambitions. You alone have made me believe in myself again._

"_The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come."_

_Je t'aime plus que ma propre vie_

_Bella_

**A/N – There you have it. **

**The first quote is by J.K. Rowling – She is my idol and everything I aspire to be.**

**The second quote is from the Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.**

**The third is (albeit a little modified) from Breaking Dawn by non-other than our own Stephenie Meyer.**

**I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think. Don't hate on Bella too much for needing a little space!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N – I've done it!**

**I have finally finished my second year at uni! Woo Hoo! So now I get to devote more of my time to this story! Yay!**

**I hope we all saw Breaking Dawn! I went to the midnight screening; needless to say a few tears were shed on my end… more than once!**

**But, on with the chapter!**

College Sucked.

Actually no, it was just the classes that sucked. I loved spending time with my Rosie.

The past couple of months have gone by like a blur, and yet they still seemed to drag on forever. It seemed like Rose, Alice, Bella, Jasper and I never had any time to spend together. Rosie had a bunch of late classes, Alice worked every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, Bella had a relatively normal timetable but had taken up going to the gym whenever she was free, and Jasper was like a bad smell Alice couldn't get rid of, going wherever she went.

We were nearing Thanksgiving Break and the five of us were being run to the bone with assignments. Jasper and I had both started staying at the girls place seeing as Jasper and Alice took most of their classes together, and I didn't want to be stuck on campus by myself.

It had been a couple of months since Edward left for the army. For the first week after his departure I caught Rose crying a couple of times, although she won't admit it. I knew she missed her brother; after all they had been inseparable for most of their lives.

He called of course, to let us know how he was. He sounded happy, like he was doing exactly what he needed to be doing, and we were all proud of him for that. Every phone call he made, whether it was to Rose, Alice, Jazz or me he always asked the same question "How is Bella?" after the first few calls we surmised that they weren't yet talking after what went down at the airport. Alice was still furious, but Rosie being Rosie told her…. Actually no, she threatened her, not to say anything to him. Each time he asked the question, we all rambled off a "She's fine, studying hard, keeping busy!"

Though, last night when he spoke with me I was surprised that he didn't ask how Bella was. He sounded a little down, though. But, after some pestering by yours truly he relented and spilt his guts on what was up his arse. He had been informed that unfortunately he wouldn't be able to make it home for Thanksgiving; the army requested he do some extra training for…. Ummm…. Something, I zoned out after a while. But he did say his leave had been approved for Christmas. Everyone was ecstatic when I relayed that information to them.

I mean, although we were back at College, and things still felt the same, it also felt a little off. Without Edward things weren't the same. Not that I'd ever tell him that, he'd get a big head.

Annnnny way, today is the Monday before Thanksgiving, Rosie has a late class, Alice is at work and Jazz was off somewhere, no doubt at Alice's café. I arrived at the girls house like I usually did, letting myself in, dumped my bag in Rosies room before making my way over to the pantry snagging a bag of cheddar Doritos and made myself comfy on the couch. Mondays were always my days I got to catch up on Gossip Girl – the girls would pay me out big time if they found out I liked the show.

I was on my second episode for the day, Blare and Chuck were having _another_ fight, when Bella burst through the front door in gym clothes – gosh, does that girl ever stop?

We both froze, not knowing what to do.

"Emmett, Rose gave you a key for emergencies," She told me.

Phew, she hadn't caught a glimpse of the TV yet.

"I was out of Doritos!" I retaliated, shaking the bag for emphasis.

She rolled her eyes making her way past me, before stopping dead in her tracks, slowly turning to face the TV.

"Emmett….. What are you watching?" She said slowly.

"Nothing, just a little background noise," I told her.

"So, you're the one who keeps tevo-ing Gossip Girl! Gosh Emmett, every time I get rid of it you put it back on." She said looking at me, hands on hips.

"Come on Bells, I'm a fan of Blare and Chuck! They are made for each other, I'm not too partial to Serena though, she annoys me!" I said to her sincerely.

Bella huffed before storming up to her room. I heard her close a door and the shower turn on.

Good, I thought, I'll have enough time to finish the episode.

By the time Bella returned down stairs Gossip Girl was saying her sign off which I mimicked.

"XOXO Gossip Girl,"

"Emmett, you're such a girl, you know that right?" Bella laughed, taking the Doritos off me.

"Yeah, what of it? I like getting in touch with my feminine side," I said, giving her a cheesy grin, flipping the channel over. "Hey, want to play the Wii?" I suggested.

"Sure," She sighed.

And so started an epic Wii Tennis tournament, we were halfway through our fourth match when Rosie came home and by that time my pants were long gone.

"Emmett, put your pants back on," Rose said, greeting me.

"Can't sorry babe. This is Wimbledon Rosie, I need the freedom and mobility that only underwear can provide, Cheerio." I told her, kissing her quickly on the cheek turning back to the TV just in time to smash the ball back at Bella.

We continued on with Rose as our audience, after a little while Jasper and Alice came home and joined Rose. So far we were 8-9 to Bella, and I wasn't going to lose to a girl.

We made hit after hit, when finally the control slipped from her hand, making her miss the shot.

"Ha!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. "9 all, Biatch!" I told her doing a little happy dance.

Rose, Alice and Jazz laughed before Alice piped up. "Anyone would think you were playing for money!"

"Alice, Alice, Alice. There is so much more on the line than a little bit of money, I mean sure if I win I will be richer in wealth…. But also in knowledge, isn't that right Belly-boo!" I teased.

After our second match we decided to make things interesting, if I won I got $100 and she told me what the dealy-oh was with Edward. But if she won she got the $100 and something else that would be confirmed at a later date. I wasn't scared though, I never lost to Rose, and Bella wasn't much different right?

"What ever Em, let's just get this game going, this is it. Ready?" She asked, stretching.

"Hold on!" I told her. In the span of our numerous matches I had somehow polished off a Big Gulp of soda and really needed to relieve my bladder. I ran to the bath room, and was skidding back into the lounge room feeling relieved after only two minutes.

"Emmett McCarty, you better have washed your hands!" Rose shouted at me.

"Yes babe," I replied, giving her a kiss on the nose.

I turned to face Bella, stretching my arms behind my head and whispered. "Bring it on Bitch,"

Our last match was probably the toughest, whenever I thought I had one upped her she would hit back with just as much ferocity.

Five minutes later we were both feeling the strain – I mean who wouldn't we were on our 19th game. I smashed the ball back to her and took a quick second to look over to her; I hadn't seen Bella this alive in months. Her face read pure determination, yet she wore the most genuine smile. I swear to God if I could I would do anything to see her smile like that every day, she was after all, family.

She jumped in the air, flinging the Wii Remote into a backhand hit, just missing Jaspers nose. I turned my attention back to the TV just in time to leap sideways for the ball, missing it by a millimetre, but landing in Rosie's lap instead.

"NOO!" I cried in defeat, while Bella did a lap of victory around the Lounge Room and Dining Room.

While I was 'sulking' in defeat I think I knew my subconscious made me miss that shot, just to make Bella happy. Well that's what I'm telling myself anyway.

-x-x-x-

The next couple of days passed with ease, I was still waiting for Bella to collect on her winnings from our Tennis Match; but if I knew Bella, she would wait until the most opportune moment.

It was Wednesday morning; I was waiting in the kitchen waiting for everyone to get their asses out of bed when I had a brilliant idea. Today marked the start of the holiday season in my family, although it was not Thanksgiving until tomorrow it still excited me, because after tomorrow out would come the Christmas decorations, and Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year. I pulled out my laptop, and opened up youtube. After a couple of minutes of searching I had found the right video. I hooked my laptop up to the stereo before pressing play and bouncing back into the kitchen to make everyone a good old fashioned Emmett breakfast.

I had pressed repeat twice by the time my dear brother stumbled downstairs. I was shaking my money maker in front of the stove singing at the top of my lungs.

"I saw mommy kissing Saaaanta Clause, underneath the mistletoe last niiiiiiight!"

"Dude," Jasper groaned. "Not cool! Thanksgiving hasn't even passed yet."

I turned around, giving him my best 'Jazz hands' – haha, get it 'Jazz Hands'… Jasper… Jazz? Oh forget it.

"That's the point baby bro, get into the spirit!" I told him.

He sat down at the counter while I fixed him a cup of instant coffee. That reminded me, I should really get Rosie a proper coffee maker for Christmas.

The girls progressively made their way downstairs; Alice danced around the kitchen with me while we free styled a medley of Christmas songs. Bella booed us, while throwing raisins at us. I had even turned Jasper into Santa, by smooshing pancake batter on his face.

By the time my Rosie came downstairs breakfast was ready. We sat down at the table ready to dive into our feast when Alice stood up, raising her orange juice, which she had conveniently poured into a champagne flute.

"Okay guys, I know Thanksgivings is tomorrow, and we are having a big dinner with the Cullen's and McCarty's but I just wanted to let you all know that, although, both families have shown so much love and warmth to Bella and I, even though we aren't technically family, I wanted to thank you all; Jazz, Bella, Rose, and Em for your continuous love and support over the last 18 months. Without which I guess none of us would be here today. And for me this is my real thanksgiving, you guys are my family! Even if one of our brothers is missing. So, here's to our little family." She said toasting us.

"Well said, pip squeak." I told her.

Breakfast a messy, and yet delicious affair. After only a couple of minutes of being civilised Jasper went to throw Bella a pancake, which landed in Rose's face. Rose retaliated by dumping her oats on him, which flew onto Alice. Before we knew it, food was flying everywhere. Alice had the scrambled eggs and was practicing her batting technique with the serving spoon, Bella was hosing everyone off with orange juice, and I went straight of the good stuff, and ran for cover.

"Not the bacon!" I shouted, "Anything but the bacon! Save the bacon!"

If this was what family was, then I was pretty glad to have chosen this bunch of missfits.

-x-x-x-

The rest of Thanksgiving break went by like a blur. It was great to see Mom and Dad and Esme and Carlisle again. Thanksgiving went off without a hitch, even though there were a few tears from Esme about Edward missing.

Thanksgiving always made me especially thankful for my wonderful family, immediate and adopted. It always made me want to have my own family and I couldn't wait until the day Rose and I welcomed Emmett and Rose Juniors into the world, to share all of my love and happiness with.

Alice and Bella tagged along again this year, but due to Alice's new found working life she was committed to being back in the city by Saturday, and seeing as our little group are all for one, we decided to leave after lunch on Friday. Not before we were laden with containers full of left overs though.

The rest of the weekend the five of us spent our time lazing about the girl's house studying and battling each other on Guitar Hero – for which I was the master, aside from Al who had to work on Saturday afternoon. I had also managed to polish off the thanksgiving leftovers by Saturday morning.

Monday had arrived again, and unluckily for me I had an early class. Thankfully it went by quickly but I was in desperate need of a caffeine fix. I bounded over to one of the many cafes on campus, ready to skull an espresso and smash through a bunch of readings I had neglected over the weekend.

I had just ordered my coffee when Jazz called me. Automatically I was worried, Jasper _never_ called anyone, let alone me.

"Holla," I said, answering the phone.

The line was silent. That's weird. Maybe it's a pocket dial.

I was getting ready to hang up when he spoke. "Em," He stuggled saying. "It's mom and dad."

**A/N – Okay, sorry about the cliffie. Needed to happen. I have a funny feeling that the next chapter is going to be longer! And well worth it.**

**Secondly, I honestly was getting sick of hearing Bella's voice in my head when Emmett came shimmying into my head saying "Write about me!" with his Jazz Hands. So I did. Would you deny Emmett?**

**Did anyone catch any TV show quotes that were added?**

**I hope it was worth it. Lemme know. Reviews are delicious like bacon**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N – Sorry about the cliffie. Here is the latest.**

"Em?" Jasper called down the phone. "Emmett, are you still there?"

Every word I wanted to say was caught in my throat.

"Yeah," I managed to croak. "Man, please tell me everything is okay,"

I heard Jasper sniff on the other line. "I'm sorry," He cried. "They had an accident, and they're… they're… Em, they aren't coming back."

I pulled my cell phone away from my ear, hanging up on Jazz. I didn't want to believe him. Slowly I turned and made my way out of the café, forgetting about my coffee, heading straight for my car. It was like I was autopilot the fifteen minutes it took me to drive to the Girls house. In that time Jasper had tried calling me twice and Rosie had tried calling six times.

Pulling up in front of the house, I parked my car carefully, just to take my time. I knew what awaited me when I walked through that front door. All four cars were parked out the front of the house. Every breath I took, each time I blinked my eyes, every step I took; I felt like my senses had been heightened.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the front door and walked into the lounge room. Sitting there, looking completely lost was my friends, my family.

It was like my hearing had been muffled, Jasper was talking to me but I couldn't hear him. Rosie was mumbling something as she engulfed me in a hug. I took in my surroundings. Jazz sat on the recliner, slumping forward with his face in his hands. Alice was perched on the arm of the recliner rubbing Jaspers back, tears stained her cheeks. Bella was clutching a teacup in her left hand, shaking slightly; she seemed to be on the phone to someone. Rosie finally pulled away from me, her face was blotchy, and her gorgeous blonde hair pulled into a dishevelled knot on top of her head.

"Em, I am so sorry!" She sobbed

Jasper looked up and met my eyes before saying, "Carlisle was the ER doctor and called me as soon as he found out." He scrubbed his face again with his hands. "Esme called not five minutes ago, as well, she told me that we don't need to worry about a thing, the Cullen's will organise everything. She said she would call me later tonight."

I walked over to sit next to Bella. I had yet to utter a single word since finding out about mom and dad.

"So that's it then?" I asked, my throat choking on the words as the came out. "They're gone. I guess we should help with the arrangements then?"

"Esme said that she was more than happy to arrange everything if we don't feel up to it," Jasper told me, reaching his hand out to me.

"It's you and me now Big Bro, us against the world." He said, tears streaming down his face as he said it.

"You and me against the world," I echoed.

The five of us sat in silence for another five minutes, before I finally stood up, searching my pockets for my phone, before eventually finding it sitting on the coffee table.

"I'm just going to call the Cullen's." I told everyone, excusing myself from the room.

With shaking hands I searched for Esme's cell number, pressing call when I found it.

The phone rang barely twice before Esme answered.

"Emmett," She breathed.

"Hi Esme," I replied.

"I am so sorry honey," She said, I could tell she was holding back tears.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"I told Jasper, if you aren't up to organising everything I would be there to do it," She told me.

"Yeah, he mentioned that." I said to her. "Look, I… I think… I need to do this, arrange the funeral. You know, as a way to say goodbye."

"Of course honey. I didn't want to step on your toes; I just know that this is a lot to take in for a 20 year old."

I took a deep breath.

"I know it will be, but if you don't mind, I could still use your help? I wouldn't have a clue where to start. Of course I would need to make my way to Port Angeles; I can hardly do anything from Seattle. I'm going to leave first thing tomorrow." I told her, bombarding her with information.

"Honey, the only thing you need to think of right now if when their funeral should be, and letting people know of the accident,"

"This weekend," I practically shouted at her. "I mean if that's not too soon?"

"No, dear, it's not too soon. I will get started on things today."

"Thanks Esme. Also, if it wouldn't be too much to ask, would you be able to notify people of the accident? I don't think I would be able to," I told her truthfully.

Esme was more helpful than I had ever anticipated. We spoke for another five minutes, finalising a couple of details before my return to Port Angeles. At the end of or call I thanked her quietly, before hanging up and making my way back into the lounge room.

By the time I had arrived back in the lounge room Bella was off the phone, someone had turned the TV on and the four of them were staring blankly at it watching the Home Cooking Channel. It was now or never, I had to tell them my plans.

I stood in the doorway shifting from foot to foot, my hands stuffed into my pockets. I cleared my throat to gain their attention, thankfully their heads snapped in my direction.

"Umm, I just thought I should let you guys know that I'll be leaving tomorrow morning for a bit,"

As soon as the words left my mouth there were protests flying left right and centre, mainly from Rosie and Jasper though.

"Em, we can get through this together!" Rose cried, flying across the room, clinging to my shirt.

"Bro, we need solidarity, you can't just run off!" Jasper said wide eyed.

Wow, I really should have thought of a better opening.

"Guys, guys, chill. I am just heading home for a week, maybe two to sort out a couple of things. I _need_ to do this. Momma C is helping me out with a few of the… funeral… details," the words caught in my throat as they came out. "The funeral will be this weekend, if that's all right with you Jazz? I think sooner rather than later would be best," I said directly to him.

"Yeah man, I just want them at peace," Jasper replied.

The rest of the night I spent packing, I had to talk Rosie out of coming with me, instead reassuring her that I would see her on Friday when her, Jazz, Alice and Bella were coming in for the funeral. I didn't know how I would cope without her being by my side for the next couple of days, especially since this was when I probably needed her the most, but I knew I had to face this alone. I couldn't subject Rosie to this; it wasn't fair to even consider it.

I knew I was the head of the family now, I think even Jazz knew that, even though we were barely a year apart in age. I had always looked to him when I needed to feel…. I don't know…. Anything really; happiness when I was sad, joy when I was angry. He even had this talent of making me access every emotion that I had suppressed over time. But for him, I was his guardian, when we were little, I beat kids up who were picking on him, I gave him confidence when he needed it and always told him how it was. That was the way we worked as brothers. He was the sensitive guy who considered everything from all different angles, and I was the guy who charged in guns blazing.

This time though, I needed to be a little more like Jasper. From now on I needed to think before I went guns blazing.

It all felt so surreal. I mean, what kind of 20 year old had to do this? Plan their parent's funeral. I was numb for most of the night, I had intended on driving to Port Angeles, but when I was lying awake that night I felt a sudden surge of fear for any car. So, at 3:30am I flipped open my laptop and booked myself a ticket on the earliest train to Port Angeles, which thankfully was at 8:45am – I would call Esme from the train to let her know of my change of travel.

The next morning the five of us were up at sparrows fart, Bella was busying herself in the kitchen making everyone coffee and waffles. Rosie and Alice were off somewhere being secret squirrels. And Jazz was with me telling me little details that I didn't know, or things I would forget.

"The Beamer should be parked in the garage, so if you need some wheels while you're in town the keys are in that fancy pot mom always loved." He told me.

"How do you know that? All those times I wanted to take that car for a joy ride and couldn't find the keys, and you knew where they were the whole time?" I protested.

"They trusted me a little more Bro," He laughed before continuing on with his list.

"Remember to turn the electricity and gas off,

"Don't forget to water mums flowers,

"Dad kept a record of all the account details and passwords on his laptop under the file name 'My kids are making me go grey,' I found it a while back while I was snooping for Christmas present ideas,

"Their lawyer is a Mr. Jenks, I am sure he will have a copy of their updated will,

"And Em, the deed to the house is in the basement in that old filing cabinet, remember?"

He took a breath. I did remember.

"Yeah, under the file 'Kids inheritance – Good luck, they'll probably burn it down first'," I laughed.

"Mom and Dad were always a step ahead of us weren't they?" He asked.

"Yeah, they were, but they always made sure to make it interesting for us."

We stood in each other's silence for a while longer before I final spoke up again.

"Thanks Jazz, for everything, for remembering all those details. I feel like I never paid enough attention before," I said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Nah, man, you did pay attention, you'll see." He smiled back at me.

After breakfast Jasper and the girls gave me a fan fare off at the train station, Bella had to pry Rosie off me before I boarded the train. They said their goodbyes all promising to see me on Friday. As soon as the train started moving, a pain in my chest started seeping its way in, for the 5 hour train ride it remained there.

I managed to catch an hour or so sleep on the train, but not much. Instead I busied myself with lists.

Lists on things I had to do when I arrived in Port Angeles, things I had to buy, things I had to make sure happened at the funeral, people I had to contact.

And then finally, a list of all the people I loved – people I needed to remind of my love; Mom and Dad, Jazz, Rosie, Alice, Bella, Edward, and finally Esme and Carlisle.

When the train arrived in Port Angeles Station I saw Esme standing on the platform waiting for me, she wore a smile on her face like she usually did but it didn't hold the same warmth. It hit me suddenly that my parent's death didn't only affect Jasper and I, but everyone my parents had been close to, especially the Cullen's – they were after all family.

I descended the train, striding over to her. She didn't even have to ask for a hug, I enveloped her in my arms. During that moment, when I was hugging Esme – my second mother – I started crying, I had yet to shed a tear, but Esme was my undoing. She patted my back and whispered that it would all be okay, we would get through it. And for the first time since I found out about mom and dad, I actually believed her.

The first day back in Port Angeles was hard, I had agreed to stay with Esme and Carlisle while I was in town and had even managed to persuade them into letting me stay in Rosie's room, just so I could feel close to her.

That day was a blur of funeral arrangements, meeting with the funeral director, talking to the Police regarding the accident. By 5:30pm I was ready to crash. Esme and I walked into the Cullen's house, emotionally and physically exhausted. Carlisle had taken it upon himself to make dinner and was waiting when we walked through the door.

It always seemed to me that Carlisle was the strong silent type; when I plonked myself down at the kitchen counter he came up put his hand on my shoulder saying nothing but the word 'Son'. There was so much behind that word though, it was a reassuring 'Son' letting me know that he would be behind me, help me through anything.

The three of us sat at the dining table for what seemed like hours. Esme and I were pouring over the funeral arrangements, we had both been so efficient today all we needed to finalise was their… god forbid… coffins, and the flowers. We had also discussed arranging an appointment to see mom and dad's lawyer, Mr. Jenks – but agreed that it would be best to do when Jasper was in town.

By Thursday morning I felt like so much weight had been lifted off my shoulders and yet I felt like I was being held down by a ton of bricks. Everything had been finalised for the funeral for Saturday on Wednesday, everyone that needed to be notified of the accident had been called, Esme had even arranged for a notice to be put into the local newspaper. Thursday was the day that I had planned to go to my parents' house.

Esme needed to go to work for the day, seeing as she had had the last three days off and needed tomorrow off as well. So I decided to head over to the house to make sure everything was okay. Mom and dad's house was a 10 minute walk from the Cullen's, and seeing as I didn't have a car I decided to leg it. It was exceedingly cold, but I wrapped myself up in the thickest coat I had brought with me and one of Rosie's scarfs.

The pain that I had experienced on the train ride to Port Angeles started coming back as soon as I turned into the street, and became almost unbearable as I stepped onto the front porch. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Immediately I was flooded with mom and dad's scent. It smelt like home.

I took my time making my way through the house, trying to memorise everything. The way mom folded the afghan over the couch, to the carved notches on the pantry door dad had made to mark Jasper and my growth over the years.

Mom had left the house in immaculate condition. I could never have thanked her enough for that; I don't know how I would go trying to clean the house.

While I was at mom and dads I made sure to do everything Jasper had reminded me of. I cancelled the electricity and gas – also cleared the fridge and freezer. I forked out the deed to the house for when Jasper and I met with Mr. Jenks. During my time at the house I also packed a few things I thought I would need over the next few days, some extra clothes, dads laptop, I also took a few photos with me; one of mom, dad and me on the day I was born, another almost identical picture of when Jasper was born, a family photo when we were in elementary school, and the most recent photo from Thanksgiving.

I looked at the photo from only a couple of days prior – mom had always been efficient and must have printed it out the every same day. There we stood, beaming at the camera; I towered over everyone, one arm wrapped around Rosie's waist, the other around dads shoulders, mom stood between dad and Jasper, looking admiringly up at dad while holding onto Jasper, Jazz was hugging Alice into his side.

I remember mom telling me once, all she wanted in for the two of us was for Jasper and I to find our passion in life, our soul mate, just as she had done with dad. Then would her life be complete. I guess she got her wish come true, Rose was my one and only, always had and always would, and Jasper and Alice were like Peas and Carrots.

It took me two and a half hours to do everything that I needed to do. I stood in the foyer having one last look around, I was about to walk out the door, ready to carry everything I had accumulated back to the Cullen's when I remember a vital piece of information from Jasper.

"_The beamer should be parked in the garage, so if you need some wheels while you're in town the keys are in that fancy pot mom always loved."_

It was now or never, I needed to take the car. I found the ugly pot sitting in the lounge room, wrenched the lid off. The pot was empty with the exception of the keys and an old piece of paper. I pulled both out, twirling the keys triumphantly on my fingers before turning my attention to the piece of paper.

_Well Emmett, I guess you aren't as silly as we thought… Either that or Jasper told you our hiding spot. Either way, you deserve to take the car for a little ride – but remember you break it you buy it. Also, the hiding spot for the keys will be moved as soon as you get home._

_Love you Baby Boy._

_Mom and Dad. Xx_

I pocketed mom and dad's note, beaming with pride. They knew one day I would find the keys.

Driving the beamer for the first time was like heaven on wheels. Admittedly it was only a two minute drive to the Cullen's it still felt right. I parked in the drive way and made my way inside. I had planned to spend the rest of the afternoon sleeping in the media room, catching up on Gossip Girl.

Little did I know those plans were never to play out. After dumping my bag in Rosie's room I made my way back downstairs for a nap. I walked past Edward's room on my way…. That was funny, the door was open slightly. I didn't think anything of it; probably it was Esme getting rid of some dust bunnies.

When I arrived in the kitchen though, the fridge door was wide open with someone standing in front of it, dressed in formal Military Gear, and a buzz cut.

"Edward!" I practically shouted, causing him to jump sky high.

"Dude, what was that for?" He said, throwing a chocolate chip cookie at me.

I was confused. Why was he here?

"Bella called on Monday," He said, his tone changing, answering my unasked question. "I immediately applied for family leave, but didn't get approved until Tuesday afternoon. I've been in transit since yesterday morning,"

**A/N- Gah, sorry. I had intended to include a bit more, but then realised the rest of it needed a whole chapter to itself. **

**It's a little on the depressing side, but I had my reasons. **

**What did you think? I won't throw cookies at you like Edward did at Emmett if you review, instead I will hand them to you on a silver platter with a glass of milk! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Edward and I sat and talked for hours that afternoon.

"Dude, I thought you and Bella weren't talking or some shit?" I asked.

We had relocated from the kitchen to the lounge room, and had brought with us copious amounts of food and a few beers of Carlisles. I was sure Esme and Carlisle wouldn't mind a little underage drinking considering the current situation.

"We haven't been talking. Monday was the first time I've heard from her in months," he told me taking a sip of his beer before continuing. "Anyway, so she called, thankfully Monday's I have a considerable amount of free time so I was able to answer her call. Man, when my Sergeant told me it was Bella on the phone I almost passed out. I had been waiting for her call for so long, it's a shame it was under these circumstances that we spoke again. I'm sorry by the way, I don't think I've said that yet. How are you doing?"

I fidgeted with the label on my bottle. "It's okay man, I'm okay. I think I am at least. I've been going through all these motions but it still feels so damn surreal to me. I went to the house this morning and it felt so cold and lonely." I said, still peeling away at my label. "But never mind that, let's keep talking about you, keep me distracted for a bit! Start from the start, Bella wouldn't tell us anything," I encouraged him to continue.

"Well, like I said we haven't spoken for months. I sent her a letter the day I arrived at base, I poured my heart out on that piece of paper," He said.

"Very manly dude," I jested.

"Do you want me to continue?" Edward took that moment to throw popcorn in my direction. "She responded of course. She told me everything behind what happened last year, she went on about destiny and how I was hers, but we couldn't be together just yet. And I mean I think I get it, it's been tough this past few months but it's been good for me. I've been put through my paces, and I am coming out the other end strong in many ways, you know?"

"Yeah man, I totally understand and I'm pretty sure she's been the same, not that she talks about her feelings much. She's busied herself with classes constantly, although I couldn't tell you which classes exactly she's been taking, like I said she pretty much a closed book. But she is definitely stronger, mentally and dude, physically!" I laughed, remembering back to the arm wrestling competition we had over the Thanksgiving weekend.

Edward looked with a puzzled expression on his face before asking "What do you mean?"

"Bella joined a gym the third week into semester. And I swear to God she is there every waking hour of the day. I don't know how she does it. Honestly dude, she's so alive these days but I'm not quite sure the passion is there," I told him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon catching up; I told him all about Alice and her job, Jasper following her about like a lost puppy, and Rosie being her gorgeous self.

He told me everything there was to know about the Army and his training, and for once I didn't zone out. He seemed so committed and was really excited about his next, and last, level of training. Apparently he was excelling beyond everyone's belief, I could have told him he would, but I don't want him to get a big head.

Esme arrived home just after six with pizza in hand; she dropped it though when she saw Edward sitting with me. I caught the pizza though so there was no loss there. Esme didn't even know Edward was coming home.

It was good to have Edward around again, he was a great distraction. Esme fussed over him constantly, always reminding him that he needed fattening up, then she started worrying that the Army was starving her baby boy.

"Ma, it's muscle, stop poking me," Edward said as he cleared the table after dinner.

It was hilarious to watch Esme and Edward bicker back and forth, it felt like everything was back to normal.

Carlisle didn't get home from the hospital until the wee hours of the morning on Friday; he had taken the weekend off for the funeral.

It was 2:30am and I couldn't fall back asleep so decided to go ahead with my Gossip Girl marathon. It was soothing to watch the lives on fictional Upper East Side Characters; it made me forget about everything that had been happening. I was halfway through my third episode when I heard the front door open then close. I knew it was Carlisle but I didn't have the energy or motivation to greet him.

After a few minutes he walked into the media room and sat down on the recliner.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, kicking his feet up in the chair.

"Nah, it's been getting really hard to sleep as the funeral inches closer," I told him solemnly.

Carlisle sighed loudly before speaking up again. "You don't have to keep it together all the time, you know that right?"

I turned my head in his direction. "I know, I just feel that if I don't I will be a blubbering mess all the damn time. And Jazz is coming down today and I don't know how he's going to be so I have to be strong for him, and Rosie, I don't want her to see me so weak."

"Emmett, you could never be weak. Son, I am so proud of the strength you have shown over the past few days. You have matured beyond your years this past week, and you may not feel that you have but I see it. You might not be wearing suits and carrying a brief case, but you hold you head in a different way; you took charge of everything, something I don't think you would have been able to do a year or so ago."

We sat there in silence for a little while before Carlisle continued. "Esme and I are so very proud of you, and I can say with complete confidence that your mom and dad would echo our sentiments tenfold,"

Silent tears slid down my face after that. I managed to croak a simple "Thank you," in response.

A little while after our D&M I fell asleep on the couch, it was the soundest I had slept in days. I think it was Carlisles words that helped to heal me.

**BPOV**

The past week seemed to pass by at a steady but slow crawl. Jasper, Alice, Rose and I seemed to keep ourselves busy as much as possible. But there was always a moment during the evening when the four of us found ourselves at a brick wall. It was always after Emmett's phone call. We just sat there in silence, taking it all in.

Rose and I had taken up the roll of mother hen, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. It helped distract us, and encouraged Jasper to eat. Alice took the week off from work, and played shadow to Jasper, never leaving him with a minute to himself.

Finally it was Friday morning. We had all woken up 5:00am so as to be on the road by 6:00am. Rose and I were going to take it in turns to drive. After a quick stop at McDonalds for an on the road breakfast and coffee we were on our way.

It was a sombre car drive; there was only forced conversation every now and then, but for the most part we sat in silence. It had started snowing last night so it took a little longer to drive to Port Angeles than it usually did. Esme called every hour on the hour to make sure we were driving safely.

It was 10:45am when we finally pulled into the Cullen's driveway. We took our time getting the bags out of the car; Emmett and Esme were standing at the front door to greet us.

Esme pulled each of us into a hug, whispering a "Thank you," in my ear before releasing me. Emmett and Jasper held onto each other for quite some time, they needed each other's strength this weekend.

When we finally made our way into the kitchen, where Esme had brunch waiting for us, it was Rose who saw Edward first. She let out a load squeal before launching herself into his arms.

"Edward!" She cried. "You're home!"

"Hi Rose, I've missed you too," He laughed.

Emmett sat down next to Edward at the counter, grinning while sipping on orange juice.

Jasper and Rose were fawning over Edward for at least half an hour. Alice was close to throwing a scone in his face because she still didn't have answers.

"Al, chill. Things are okay," I whispered to her, just as she had picked up a butter knife.

She looked at my pleading expression before relaxing a little and joining in on the conversation.

After a while Emmett stood up and excused himself, Jasper and Esme. They had a meeting with the McCarty's solicitor to discuss the Will. Alice announced that she was going to distract herself while Jasper was away by continuing with her bedroom redecoration, Rosalie joined her. Seeing as I didn't really enjoy fawning over curtain patterns and feature wall designs so I decided to stay downstairs.

I padded into the kitchen, seeking out Esme's Nespresso Machine, I needed a serious caffeine fix.

While the coffee was slowly making its way into my cup I turned to retrieve the milk from the fridge, it was when my head was inside the big box of cold that I heard a cough come from behind me. The noise startled me, making me bump my head on the shelf above my head. Rubbing the top of my head with one hand, the milk in the other I tuned around to see who was behind me.

Edward was leaning against the door frame, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Sorry," He said, a smile creeping across his face.

"It's okay, you just startled me a little," I replied, making my way back over to the coffee machine. "Ah, did you want a coffee?" I asked, placing the milk down on the counter.

"Sure," Edward made his way over to help me.

Once we had our Java in hand we headed outside to sit on the back patio. The cool air pinched my face as we sat in silence, taking sip after sip of our warm drinks. It felt like forever before Edward finally broke the silence.

"How have you been?" He said, eyes trained on the distance.

I took a moment to collect my thoughts before answering.

"Pretty good, for the most part. You know how College can get," I said as I curled my feet underneath myself getting comfortable.

Edward gave a small chuckle. "So, since when did you start drinking coffee? Last I checked you couldn't even stand the smell,"

I was taken aback by the fact that he remembered. "I, ah. Well, a couple of months back I wasn't sleeping too well. Actually I wasn't sleeping at all, I even went to a doctor and he told me I had insomnia. So I started killing my time at night by joining a 24 hour gym, setting the high score on Wii Tennis, but unfortunately it was always when I had a class that I started to fall asleep. So I thought I'd start drinking coffee," I told him, taking a sip of my warm drink. "Ever since then I haven't looked back,"

We sat talking for what felt like hours, I was so happy that Edward had found his calling in life. He talked so passionately about the Army, he had definitely bulked up over the past few months as well. Around 3pm it started snowing again, Rose and Alice joined us outside and for a few moments it honestly started to feel like everything was back to the way it was a year ago, and we weren't reunited under grave circumstances.

The four of us were making our way back inside when Emmett, Jasper and Esme were returning home. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur; we ate chinese, talked about memories of the McCartys, and sometime around 11pm we fell asleep. Before we knew it the day of the funeral was upon us. Esme made us all pancakes before we all went our separate ways to get ready for the service.

I was in the sitting room, waiting for everyone to finish getting ready. My mind was wandering away with me when Emmett walked in. His suit was perfectly ironed, his hair neatly brushed back, but a solemn look was upon his face.

For fifteen minutes we sat next to each other in silence. I reached my hand over to rest on his, just to let him know that he wasn't alone.

"Iz," He choked.

I turned to face him, before answering a simple "Yeah?"

Tears were welling in his eyes, his face blotchy red.

"I'm not ready for this," He cried.

"Oh, Em." I couldn't find the right words to say to him. Nothing seemed right.

I flung my arms around his giant shoulders, hugging him in reassurance.

"If I have learnt anything this past year, we have the greatest family and we are all here for you. We love you Em," I cried. He buried his face in my shoulder, we stayed that way for another five minutes until Rose came running in to tell us it was time.

Without a word, she gently took his hand and led him to the car, looking over her shoulder to mouth the word 'thanks' to me. I stood up, smoothing out my dress before pulling on my Black Pea Coat. Edward was waiting at the door for me.

"Hey, did you want to ride together? Em and Jazz are riding with mom and dad and Rose and Alice are taking the M3," He told me.

Before I could even think I nodded and made my way over to his car. It was a quiet drive the whole way to the church. We sat in the car for a couple of minutes waiting for everyone else to arrive.

"Edward," I started.

"B, what ever it is, it can wait. Our family needs us," He said before climbing out of the car.

_Our family_, he has said our family. I was beyond touched that he still considered me to be part of his family. I got out of the car, the gravel crunching under my shoes as I took my place next to Edward. Before I knew it his hand was wrapped around mine, I suddenly felt home.

It was a sombre affair. More people than I could ever imagine had kind words to say about Mr and Mrs McCarty. We all sat hand in hand throughout the procession until it was time for Emmett and Jasper to share their words.

"Mom and dad were everything to us." Jasper started. "Everyday they loved us, and encouraged us to be the best that we could be. We didn't have a big family, it was always the four of us against the world. And it always will be."

He speech was short but honest, he finished by wiping his nose on his sleeve, before Emmett stepped forward.

"A couple of hours ago I, ah, I thought knew what I wanted to say. But now," He choked back tears. "Now, I wouldn't have a clue. Like Jazz said, we didn't a big family, but mom and dad surrounded us with people, that made our lives full,"

Emmett stopped talking at that moment, and broke down crying. I had never seen big burly Emmett seem so small, so fragile. But, before we knew it, Rose, Alice, Edward and myself were all standing with Emmett and Jasper, clutching hands, like we were all looking for a life support.

"One of my best friends told me this morning, that I have the greatest family. And I couldn't agree more. Thank you mom and dad for showing Jazz and I what it means to be loved," Emmett whispered.


End file.
